Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Support and Sushi Makes It All Better.

Well I did have a bit of a downer on the weekend but with a lot of support from the kind people who read this blog, I put my head back on straight (well so to speak). I will take the time here in this post to thank the people who wrote supportive comments and emails to me, yes they do really help and I am not saying that to just be kind. I decided not to answer each comment as I usually do because you guys put so much emotion into them it would take me forever to do justice to them and answer everyone back. Just know this, I always see comments and emails like a good friend stopping in to say hello, and so I listen intently to what your view is. They were really appreciated and honestly.... I needed them. I should tell you I am the type of person that can become down about something for a day or two, but if I have no control over it, like the past, then I will just move on because I feel there is no sense in wasting time. The blog is a good place to vent and so you are usually seeing me at my worst. Pats on my head or shoulder work wonders for me. Truly, thank you.

Moving on, Sunday morning my friend (we will call him Pg) called and asked if I wanted to try a new sushi restaurant that opened near me. Pg is from Asia and when trying anything new I love to go with him because he knows all the good stuff to order, plus all the good places to eat. I jumped at the chance, I needed to get out. It is close to me so he picked me up on the way. When we entered and looked around he had a big grin on his face and said "it is safe to eat here." All my Asian friends tease me that if you go into an Asian restaurant and only see Caucasians, turn around and leave. The reason is because the food will not be good, cooked North American Style and over priced, if on the other hand you see mostly Asian customers then it is a good place to eat and not as expensive. The sushi was great, shrimp was great and I think the octopus legs were the best of all. Wow there is something I never thought I would ever say as a kid. We tried many other dishes as well, the only thing I did not care for was a noodle soup that had an odd taste, like the way wet wool socks smell. Pg is usually good at picking foods for me but he also loves to trick me and give me something so spicy that it will clear the passages out in ten seconds or just give you a bit of a shock (can you say, not too much wasabi).

I also wanted to tell Pg that I am gay, I feel he will be okay with it but at the end of the day I did not get the chance to. I had tidied up my place and invited him back for a beer after eating, he agreed, I figured it would be better to tell him at my place rather than at the restaurant. I did not feel too nervous about it but you can never tell how someone will react. He did once ask me if I was gay about two years ago but I was not ready to say yes at that time. What happened on the way to my place, just before we arrived, he asked if he could take a rain check on the beer as his baby had been sick with a cold and he wanted to get home to his wife. I said no problem and then wrestled with the thought of quickly telling him. I decided not to do that as he probably would have a few questions after and it felt wrong to say, "thanks for meeting me, I'm gay, hope the baby feels better, see you later." Well another day then, but at least what was good for me, it was for lack of time and not out of fear about telling him that I missed my chance. I think I agree with the people who say, if you don't make a big production out of it, it won't be a big production.

This week I am in the process of trying to get someone to go to a gay bar with me, I think there would be less pressure during the week than on the weekend as the bars would be less crowded. Everyone seems to have plans. I want to be able to look Patrick in his blog picture eyes and say, "yes buddy I went dancing!" By the way Patrick, since you think I am eleven years younger than you, I can't tell you how much your comments are welcomed on this blog! I said before I don't have a favourite blog writer but now Patrick is really getting close to taking that title, lol!


Steve said...

Too bad you did not get the chance to tell PG. But it will happen soon enough, I guess. Just invite him over for that beer in a couple of days (after his baby is feeling well again) and then tell him.

Anthony said...

Steven, thanks so much for stopping by.

WOW! Love the acknowledgement at the beginning of the post. I will go as far as to say I found these blogworld boys to be life saving in their love and support. It really is a specail community out here in Cybersapce.

I have only started coming out of the closet in this last year or so. Some people were more difficult to tell than others.

I have been pleasantly surprisd, not to have lost anyone in my life as a result. I wish you well when you do tell PG. I think all will be fine.

I had my first Gay Bar experience in this last month. It was well worth it and very re-affirming.

I will be back to cheer you on and watch your progress.

daveincleveland said...

sorry you didn't get a chance to tell him.....timing always sucks.....and hell yeah would love to go to a gay bar with ya buddy.....just a bit far away.....have a great day there sexy......:)

Steven said...

Time will only tell when PG will find out. But it will happen. I have heard those "words of wisdom" too where if you don't see people representative of a certain ethnic type of restaurant that the food must not be good.

Have fun with your visits to a gay bar this week! Comfort level always seems to go up when you're a recognizable face in the crowd! :-)

Patrick said...

Thanks for the welcome, Pal; am I way off age-wise? Glad you are feeling better, AND went dancing. Being able to let go of past regrets is a useful skill, isn't it.

john said...

I'm so sorry that you were feeling a little low this weekend! It's horrible when we feel that way and we feel that we can't talk to anyone about it.
I get that way too and I usually exercise or eat myself into a coma (two very extremes right).
But I've found that this place--blogworld--can help a lot. Many of the people I've met here (including you) have helped me over many obstacles.

danny/ink2metal said...

so now you owe me a sushi date, too! LOL

that's so good that you are trying to make the effort to tell your friend. you'll know when the time is right. of course it will be when you are feeling the most awkward, but no one said is was going to be easy. hahaha...;-}

it does become easier once you get through telling the first few friends.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Steve, I will and I am not actually worried, I think he will be okay with it.

Anthony, welcome to my blog! These guys are awesome in their support in so many ways. So far the coming out to friends has been going well. I have yet to go to a gay bar but look forward to it.

Dave, I will tell him another day, I have no problem with it, just the timing. We all live so far away from each other.

Steven, I think once I get the first visit over with it should get easier, um I hope.

Patrick, no I like the age you placed on me so I am going with it!

John, where do I even begin to say how much you have helped me!

Danny, okay a sushi date it is! I think it is starting to get a little easier but to be honest, I still pick and choose who I tell carefully.