Saturday, June 30, 2018

Over the top.

This morning as I came downstairs I was thinking about my dad, as I had said yesterday, today is the ninth anniversary of his death. I went to make breakfast and looked out the window. I know it's silly but I was looking for another sign, would the mother deer come back. Nothing, not even a cat. I went ahead, made breakfast, checked to see what all you brats were up to and sat down to eat.

 Suddenly there she was, the deer returned. I grabbed my binoculars to get a good close up view. I said out loud, "nothing could be more cute than a baby deer nursing". Suddenly a second baby deer appeared and ran to mom. That made me laugh, because if mother nature was sending me a message, the only thing sweeter than a baby deer, is two baby deer lol. The mother began to walk behind the barns and the babies were frolicking in circles around her through the daisies and other wild flowers, I found this hilarious because it was just too sweet, like a Disney movie. Then as she walked past a gate, a blue bird landed on the gate, no joking I then said out loud to whoever, "okay now you are just showing off"!

Friday, June 29, 2018

Year Nine.

 Sometimes I can't believe the way time has slipped by. In 2009, I was trying to take care of this farm and my dad as well. We had brought him home from the hospital, he was terminally ill with cancer and we felt we could look after him better here; however he was nearing the end and his care had become overwhelming. I had sold the cattle but the new owner needed to wait for a couple of weeks before he could bring them to his farm, I wasn't thinking clearly and shouldn't have made that deal because I felt more stress with the cattle being owned by someone else, than if they were still mine. If something went wrong, he could back out of the deal.

 Nine years ago, the trucks came and we loaded the cattle, in the back of my mind it was a sad moment, for the first time in the history of this farm, there would be no cattle here, our herd descended from my Great grandfather's herd had come to an end. I didn't have time to be sad, the only thing I felt was tired.

 My sister came up that evening, I had to have my car repaired in the city, so I decided I would go down that night and stay in town since my appointment was early. I went in to say goodbye to dad but he was sleeping peacefully, something he didn't get to do very much by then. I stared at him for a moment, I decided not to wake him, also saying goodbye would nearly bring me to tears because it took on a different meaning in those final days. I watched him for a few seconds more and then left. That was the last time I would see my father alive, he would die the next day before I got back home.

 I find it starting to affect me again, I think because next year will be the ten years mark. It makes me feel a little sad, I think also combined with the shock of it being nine years already, to me it feels like only three or four years at the most. I guess that's an age thing, along with forgetting my glasses. Is this a sad day or just an anniversary of a sad day, the healthy choice would be to think of it as just a marker in my life. Maybe life is sending me a message, this morning when I came down for breakfast, a deer was feeding a baby fawn in the yard, little white spots, wobbly stick legs and all and now happily, that will be a memory also tied to this day going forward as well.

Thursday, June 28, 2018

The Beginning of Gay being Okay.

 The other day some of my friends were talking about gay people, they don't know about me... yet that is, lol. They were saying things like how nice it is that gay people can live their lives and feel free to date whomever they want to now. Of course it depends on where you live in the world but most western countries are legalizing gay marriage so for us it's becoming a non issue. It wasn't always this way, in fact those same people would have rejected me at one time as a perverted freak.

 A lot of the younger gay people tend to forget that, they have this scene in their head where they go back in time and tell everyone off and then live happily ever after because they changed society with one snappy comeback. We have to ask how did we (LGBTQ people) get here. Yesterday I read a great post on The Gay Almanac about the Stonewall riots, that was the beginning of the LGBTQ community pushing back, standing up for themselves, forming activist groups and saying no more to the bigotry towards us. If you have time, read the post and get a sense of our history, if you are part of the community, I will be giving out an exam on the subject tomorrow, all written no oral (no complaining Maddie). However you can be exempted from the exam if you give the gentleman some sugar for posting an interesting piece. READ

Wednesday, June 27, 2018

Not 3.14 but lemon.

Pie, not the math kind, the lemon meringue kind. On the weekend I made a lemon meringue pie, it was my first one, my mother and grandmothers used to make them all the time. I suddenly felt nostalgic and wanted to try making one.

 I took longer than I was supposed to and my meringue sat a little too long so it didn't spread properly. It taste great however, embarrassingly, I ate it myself.

 I was trimming around the flowers and broke one, rather than let its beauty go to waste, I brought it in to enjoy the colour, (that's "color" in American, @ Deedles lol). Petunias were my mother's favorite go to flower, as it was her mother's favorite also, they are quite hardy and can take a lot of heat and sun.

 Bunnies, I love just saying that word... bunnies,
it's a happy place kind of word, one of my straight friends, a tall hockey loving typical Canadian guy, always calls them that, he never says rabbits, he keeps some as well, I think that is cute.

 This again is Grey Poupon, ( her previous owner called her that not me) with her baby. That's it.... the end.

Tuesday, June 26, 2018

I forgot to mention...

When I first started blogging it was a way for me to try and figure out how to break free of the prison cell of fear, that I had built to keep myself from coming out. I met on line an entire community of people (mostly men) who were trying to do the same. When they reached their goal, they felt it no longer necessary to be part of the blogosphere, I understood that, I wish them all well. Fast forward to today and all the people who read or comment on this blog are a completely different crowd, so I will let you people in on a little secret that I didn't think I could explain to my first group of readers.

 When I went to tell my sister that I am gay, it was hard but I knew it would be ok. Some funny events kept taking place that seemed to be signs that it was time to tell her. We were never close to each other and that's why I held back. When I said, "I'm gay" I cried a little from the relief I think. She said, "it's ok, it's ok, I already knew, I was just waiting for you to tell me". We talked, it was like a flood gate opened. Here comes the secret part.... then her partner came into the kitchen and asked what was wrong, I told "her" that I am gay and she gave me a big hug. It runs in the family I guess lol, it's common from what I am seeing. I never felt that I could explain how afraid I was of coming out to my old group of readers while having a gay sister who was living a full life. She and her partner have been together for nearly twenty five years. I also felt I didn't have the right to talk about my sister's personal life but she doesn't really care, she feels if everyone knows then she doesn't have to keep explaining it to people.

 This week her partner lost her father and that's why I felt it was an opportunity to mention this part of my life. She is a really sweet person, I sometimes call her my sister in law just to tease her but in reality she is basically my sister in law, she certainly is family and I feel for her loss.

 This way by revealing the truth, I feel I don't have to be cautious about slipping up on what I write. This also explains why I am always buying Home Depot gift cards.  Well I should add that they are the sporty petite type of lesbians that love hiking, eating healthy and camping, not the tattoo lumber jack, put you in a headlock type of lesbians... lol. I can just hear my sister now, "oh shut up"!

Monday, June 25, 2018

Hey life, you're just being a bitch!

 This past week a friend of my parents passed away, this seems to be a trend now given the age group that my parent's friends are in. I didn't go to the funeral as it was far, plus I hadn't really seen him or his family for years, we were not close. In his younger days he played in a band that my dad was also part of. He was married to a distant cousin of mine, he was a good man, kind, respected and a good father. He was 87, a fine age I think, he was still sharp in his thinking and in good health also.

 Life can be such a butt-hole however in the way things play out. This man's wife was suffering from Alzheimer's disease and until last week he cared for her. He reached a point where he could no longer give her the care she needed and had made arrangements to place her in a nursing home. Having done that myself with mom, I had complete empathy for him. His son was worried about him being alone at that age but being a sensible man, he told his son that he knew it was better to move into a seniors home while he could still make that decision for himself. Unfortunately because of the special care his wife needed, they would be separated but he planned to come visit her as often as he could. Having placed her in care, he moved into his new home. The stress of it all must have been too great as he suffered a stroke that night and died a few days later.

 I just shook my head, so typical that the healthy partner dies while the ill partner lives on. I have dozens and dozens of these stories, how can you explain to that woman why her husband doesn't come to see her and all the sad parts that go with this story. You almost have to laugh in disgust, I predict this woman will live for years and years because that's life, when life wants to be a cruel bitch, there is no bounds it won't cross. People were talking about this event in shock, I just pull out my favorite saying, shrug and say, "it is, what it is" because there is nothing we can do about it and I think we have to be a little cold in these situations to survive.

Saturday, June 23, 2018

Lonely wittle chicken. :(

 I let a number of my hens hatch chicks this year and for the most part, it has gone smoothly. The other day I noticed some little faces peeking out from under mom, usually they like to sleep for a day or so, I just leave them alone until everyone has hatched. If you look closely, you can see one little guy coming out just below mom's beak.

 By the next afternoon I checked and all the eggs seemed to have hatched plus everyone was hungry and thirsty. As I was moving the little family to a pen where they could eat and drink, I noticed one egg didn't hatch, that's common but when I picked it up, I realized it was hatching. It was important to get the others to eat and drink as soon as possible so the only thing I could do was put it in my incubator and I would slip him back in during the night. About thirty minutes after I put the egg in, POP... out came a little chicken. I felt sorry for it, too little and wet to go with the rest, I would have to wait until later that night.

Poor little guy, alone, scared and looking for mom, it really cried all day, then I suddenly felt really sick to my stomach because here I was feeling empathy for a chick and its distress, while I couldn't imagine the distress of the toddlers I had watched crying the night before on the news. Watching their parents being dragged off by people in uniforms, left there to wander and sob throughout the yards. The feeling of abandonment must have been overwhelming for those little minds, I can't believe the United States has become this. Those children will grow up with an ingrained distrust of authority.

 In fairness Fox News did say they were only Mexican children and not real children so it's not as bad as you think. Plus the prison camps that are warehousing the babies are actually like summer camps, if the kids would only stop crying long enough to enjoy the gift that the Overlord has given them.

 I remember once when I was six, I had to be hospitalized, being taken away from mom and dad was traumatic and yet at least they could visit me and I knew the doctors and nurses were trying to help me. I wonder about the damage that has been done.

 As evening fell and it started to get dark, I took my sad little chicken out to the barn where it could be reunited with mom, she snuggled him up and all was well. However I couldn't help thinking about the little kids lying in bed wondering where their mom is.

Thursday, June 21, 2018

Lights Final Great Battle!

 Today is the longest day of the year (technically speaking), June 21 is the final battle where light triumphs over darkness, after this day the darkness begins reclaiming the night. There is twilight here until almost eleven at night, dawn will break again at about ten minutes before four in the morning, I love this time of year, it's hard to believe when I am cutting the grass at eight in the evening, with the sun shining brightly, that in a few months it would have been pitch black for hours by then.

 I find this moment a little sad also, I guess my mom has burned this feeling in me, she hated winter and the long long dark nights. "Watch for the sun setting at the pine tree," she would say. One of life's funny oddities, as far as the sun makes it across the horizon in summer, there happens to be a large pine tree growing in that very spot on a ridge when viewed from our yard, as if a marker from mother nature. This evening I watched the sun set by the pine tree in her honor.

At ten o'clock this evening I marked the moment by taking pictures of the night sky

This is after ten p.m. the western sky
is still bright as is the north. Up north is daylight 24/7, there is no nighttime.

It's the first day of summer, everyone party! Woohoo!

Tuesday, June 19, 2018

Do or do not, meh whatever.

 One super awesome blog friend said that he liked the post "Random things about me" and was thinking about doing the same. I had thought of playing blog tag and asking people to do the same but I remembered that I used to hate when people did that so I decided not to... lol.

 Anyone is welcomed to follow along and do one as well, or not, it's up to you lol. You could leave me a comment and let me know to read it. I actually had been putting it together for weeks, every time I remembered something quirky about myself, I wrote it down in my blog, that way it was truly random stuff that pop into my head that I realized about myself. I'm going to start another one since.... well you know... I'm weird, it's ok I'm proud of it.

 Some times I want to get on here and whine about being alone and that no one cares about me but I can't, that's not exactly true. A car pulled up in my yard and it was one of my neighbors, she wanted to drop off some supper for me, no reason just out of kindness, some times I do favours for her and her husband, like baby sit their horses but mostly they look out for me. Like one of those trendy food blogs, I'm having roasted garlic chicken with potatoes and pasta salad. Yum! Better than my canned beans.

 Look at that dish, made with love, I will be having that with a fine Canadian wine, or as the rest of you people call it, beer!

Sunday, June 17, 2018

Party til you... nap?

 Yesterday I was invited to a barbecue, it was a sudden decision of the moment for close friends and neighbours of mine. She decided to text a bunch of people and see who would come. I didn't see the text until almost time to go, the only thing I had to bring was pop, beer and pickles, I went to a local store and bought chips but any other option would take a couple of hours and I was running late getting there as it was. It stressed me out a little because I don't want to be one of those people who shows up to everything empty handed.

 They have a beautiful setting, large trees for shade and two lakes close by to enjoy. I didn't know most of the people there but it didn't matter, I trust the judgment of the couple, they wouldn't tolerate a rude person. Everyone was easy to talk to and I had a really good time. That is something I would have had trouble with at one time, being surrounded by strangers but I think you get more confidence as you get older. Plus my job has given me a lot of experience speaking to groups of people.

 The funny thing is that sometimes I forget how old I actually am, I identify with the thirty somethings but their parents were there as well, some of them are middle to late fifties so they are closer to my age than the kids. I'm not ready to give up on feeling young, I would like to not think of myself as a senior in waiting lol. However life steps in, the younger people had to leave because of kids waiting at home or jobs, pets etc. That left the wild fifty somethings to party on, we moved indoors to escape the cloud of mosquitoes that rise when the sun sinks. We decided to play cards, some drank wine, some drank tea, how wild and crazy is that, although to be honest I always liked dinner parties better than a big loud drunk.

 Sitting around the table, by eleven o'clock I could see everyone was having a hard time keeping their eyes open, including me. I decided to call it a night. When I got home it was 11:45 and I was ready to sleep standing up. I remember when it usually took until two or three in the morning to feel that way. I kind of laughed at myself because it used to be that we would say, "let's party til we drop" and now it's more like party until it's after eleven. I'm not ready to give up on my youth but I think my body sent it out the door when I wasn't looking.

 I think I am going to make up t-shirts and coffee mugs with a little saying that I have come up with, my friends always ask if they can quote me. I tell people that I am entering a stage in my life where I feel every little job I do deserves a nap.

Thursday, June 14, 2018

Random things about me.

I think dandelions are beautiful.

I think bumblebees are cute, I have been stung twice, once because I slapped one as a child and also because I sat on one.

Cheerios give me cramps and diarrhea.

I love animals but I don't want any in the city. It's one of the reasons I never got a dog.

I had a phobia of driving until my thirties and now I absolutely love driving, especially on highways. I feel anxious if my car has to go in for repairs.

I'm lactose intolerant but I love dairy. I have to buy lactose free everything.

I love Joni Mitchell even though she wrote most of her songs when I was a baby.

Thinking of sex makes me sneeze. It also gives me little shocks in my stomach.

One of the reasons I like to garden is because of the uniform rows all neatly lined up, it makes me feel in control and the universe seem right.

When I was young, sausage tasted like cheap cigar smoke to me, so I couldn't eat them without gagging or vomiting.

I love poultry, especially chickens as pets.

Macaroni and cheese also made me gag, I could never eat it until I was in my twenties.

I turn the radio channel when most Beatles songs come on.

I love a cup of tea, always have since childhood.

I think 90% of tv is garbage but watch it anyway.

Unlike most men I almost never had an erotic dream about being with another person.

Processed lunch meat all smells rotten to me, like road kill, so I never eat it.

My political beliefs don't fit into any "box", I don't feel anyone represents me.

I don't really believe in God but I don't want to say it out loud in case I anger him.

I don't really believe in ghosts but I don't want to stay overnight in a haunted house in case I see one.

I feel if God does exist then it would make more sense that God is a mother figure than a father figure but I don't say it out loud in case I anger him.

I have a dark side to me and I wonder if other people have one too but just pretend they don't.

I never visit my father's grave, that feels stupid to me, the stone marked in his name is not him, he isn't there, if he is any place it would be here on the farm.

I used to have nightmares of crashing into a river and drowning until I learned to swim, the nightmares stopped when I dreamt of crashing but this time swimming to safety.

I used to have nightmares of being chased by a bear until one night I turned around and charged the bear, it had a surprised look on its face before I woke up.

I still feel like this is just a rehearsal for my real life and everything is going to reset soon and I can do a better job with my next try at life.

Wednesday, June 13, 2018

Can You Spot the Problem?

 As I make my way through the land of gays, I have come across a very common problem. I have started talking to a few guys in my city. They all say the same thing, how they have no, (or not many) gay friends. How hard it is to meet other gay people and how lonely it is. I suddenly came up with this terrific plan, what if that person and myself meet, maybe even better, what if I met a few of them and helped them to meet each other. Apparently however that is not the answer, silly naive me, I need to learn more.

 The trouble is I have no interest in maintaining an email friendship with someone in this city. I already have some of you guys as email friends, one friendship is going on to twelve years. I want real world friends as well, I want to grab a meal, catch a movie or go enjoy a concert with real friends. If I fall in love or get to shag one of them, that's an added bonus! What a great word "shag" cracks me up saying it. I don't want to put the effort into another friendship that keeps me looking at a computer screen.

 The solution seemed clear to me but not so clear to the others. If I ask to meet, they say yes and are excited to meet me but there is always an excuse, long day at work, have to do laundry, feeling tired, have to do some errands etc etc etc. I am just asking for a coffee date, I'm not asking them to show up to our wedding ceremony! Am I missing something here? Do you see the problem, guys feeling lonely and wanting to meet more people but staying home
and not going out. I think they are lonely because they have become lazy about meeting others or maybe people have become so soft, that they don't want to have to deal with the little bit of anxiety which comes from meeting someone new. Maybe they need those pink kitty hats.

Tuesday, June 12, 2018

Grocery list of waste.

 One day I was listening to a program on the radio about the amount of food we waste. If we added up the cost for each house plus the amount of energy that went into producing that food, the numbers were staggering. Especially when you consider all that food was going into the garbage. The guest suggested that we create a grocery list, not of items that we need but of food that we wasted. Total the amount at the end of each month and then add those totals again at the year's end. This would apparently shock many people.

 I know that I often feel embarrassed by the amount of things that I throw away. My two biggest problems are living alone and lack of brain function. Living alone I don't feel like cooking, I find cooking and cleaning up after is almost the same effort for one person as it is for two or three, so I'm just not into doing it. I buy good vegetables to cook but end up wanting something quick, so instead of a good meal, I open a can of soup.

 My other problem is my brain no longer works properly, I am forgetful and I lose track of time. I buy wholesome food like broccoli or green peppers with the intention of creating a healthy meal; however I keep thinking that I "just" bought those vegetables and put off using them until suddenly it's a week later and they have mold on them. Last night I was really ticked off with myself, I bought extra lean ground beef, that doesn't come cheap here and I kept putting off using it. I shoved it back in the fridge and forgot about it until yesterday. It expired five days ago. I bought broccoli and said to myself that I must remember to eat it because I wasted the last bunch. Again I see it's too late, I left it too long as I also did with a basket of strawberries, I went to use them last night and they were rotting covered with mold, I left them in the fridge too long.

 I would be embarrassed by the price of the groceries that I toss, I imagine myself taking money out of my wallet and throwing it in the garbage, I wouldn't do something so crazy as that and yet I basically am doing that. Even worse, I should be eating better as I age but I'm not doing that, in fact now when I go shopping I skip the fresh fruits and vegetables section because I will only waste the food. If I'm supposed to be getting smarter as I age, then I am not seeing any signs of it yet.

Sunday, June 10, 2018

Spring on the faaaarm, e.i.o.

 Ok you guys are asking for it, if you want a cuteness war then bring it on! Spring is hanging on here, we got frost last night, unbelievable for this time of year. Fortunately it wasn't strong enough to do damage to the plants. The three tomatoes are in their forever home now, there is no going back, it either do or die.

 Til the cows come home, my neighbor brought his cows here, he rents the land. I like to see them, they keep the place neat and tidy, they look a lot like the ones we had so they feel a little like I have ours back. Our cows have been gone nine years, most are probably dead now, many of them were very old when they were sold, the fantasy of me buying them back is no longer possible.

 Still there is a cast of characters here to keep me busy outside. One of my little hens hatched out eleven chicks, I think that's the largest number I let one hen have.

She is a good little mother, it's her first hatch.

Then there are the bunnies, first is Grey Poupon, she was named by a child, I tried to rename her Blue Bell but everyone asks how Grey Poupon is doing so.... anyway she is a mom.

My other female is Blackie, these are pet rabbits they are very small. I don't usually breed them anymore but young females should be bred or fixed.

Finally what every gay man wants from me, my cock pic.

Yes that is a picture of my cock or rooster as the straight men say.
King Rusty..... King because he walks around noble looking and Rusty because he's little and cute.

Friday, June 8, 2018

Being the gay is not good.

 I have become friends with a younger man in the city. We haven't met in person yet but soon we will. We click on a certain level because I think  we have similar views. He is a recent immigrant and his view towards the gay culture is a lot like mine. We are both a little old fashioned, we are both looking for friends or a potential date and not just a quick hookup like most of the other gay men on any dating site.

 We were talking the other day about how hard it is to meet gay men even just for friendship. He was saying how shallow he found a lot of gay men, especially him being an immigrant, many try to take advantage of the situation, I couldn't disagree, he felt they only think of sex, again what could I say, if you go by evidence, well he is right again. He was saying how hard he found it that all his friends, cousins and brothers are getting married plus starting families. He is feeling left behind. He said to me, "you know the gay is not good, being the gay is really lonely most times". What could I say, I feel the same way.

Thursday, June 7, 2018

Fireflies and empty jars.

 Tonight after dark, I was coming back from the barn after doing a bedtime check on the animals and I could see that the fireflies were starting their dance for another summer. There is nothing that can make you feel like a kid again than seeing the spectacle of nature's mini fireworks. I felt a little lonely as my mom loved when they started, even when she was getting really ill, she would always notice the fireflies and watch them for a good length of time.

 I remember when we were kids and we would get a glass jar to catch some. We used to wonder if one landed in the grass, could it catch on fire. My sister and I loved animals, we always joke that if we hadn't been raised on a farm, we would probably be radical animal rights activists. We would be happily catching them but then we would fall silent. The magic was gone, the fireflies would turn into ugly beetles and just crawl around the glass. We knew what the problem was, they were sad, nothing is beautiful when it's sad. We would release them again, we would release the magic again. We felt keeping them locked up was wrong and that the best way to enjoy their beauty was to leave the jars empty. Morning would come and we didn't want to stop them from returning to the magical world they belong to. To be a child again.

Wednesday, June 6, 2018

I adopted 3 tomato plants.

 I wasn't going to have a garden this year, I decided to just buy fresh vegetables from local farmers markets, I'm supposed to be selling the farm and I thought what was the point, all the work for someone else to benefit from. However the end of May was turning out to be warm and I thought a garden would give the place an authentic feel. So off I went to get a few plants. I have good luck with tomatoes so I only bought three. I felt sorry for the plants that are left, most people have started their gardens already, all the plants left behind will never find their forever home, they will be left to die on a compost pile. I adopted three and named them, Martha because she is an "early girl",  Melvin because he's a "golden boy" and I got my favorite kind "ultra pink" I think it needed a fabulous gay name for an ultra pink. I was thinking that our Maddie is the most fabulous gay person I know of, so that's the name I gave it,  anyway he's gone on vacation, he'll never know.

As I was preparing the garden, the temperature plummeted to below freezing that night and almost every night since I bought them. They are staying inside with me, so much for my fantastic garden, well at least the bugs aren't biting. I just don't want to have to explain what ketchup is to them.

I bought some flowers to cheer up the place, they are called pink madness, that just screamed "buy me" to a gay guy with a green thumb.

Monday, June 4, 2018

Sinking feeling.

 My work sent me an email two weeks ago, it was regarding a project I worked on last summer and fall. The project is fully up and running now and they wanted to thank us. They said we would be taken on a day cruise to relax, eat, drink and enjoy conversation. At first as usual I was going to decline. My sister said don't be your usual stick in the mud, take some time to go out and enjoy yourself, I knew she was right so I accepted the invitation.

 This Thursday was the day we were supposed to go and I was looking forward to it. This morning I received an email from work, "due to blah blah blah canceling boat cruise blah blah blah sorry for the inconvenience blah blah blah". I hadn't left yet and when I looked up *Mr Bean was sitting on my bed. " You know Steve your life is more pathetic than any Mr Bean episode I have been in", as he stood up to go he added, "maybe it's just as well, with your track record the boat would probably be named Titanic III".

*Mr Bean is a British comedy character, he is also my patron Saint of all things regarding Murphy's law, he comes to me in my dreams and imagination to mock me, cruel, cruel mockery.

Sunday, June 3, 2018

Trinkets and Baubles.

 I remember a few years ago, one of my friends had to travel to China for work as many of us did from time to time. He noticed the workers in the factory all had cell phones and they obsessed over them. Buying new jackets, sleeves and cases every few days, putting on stickers, changing the styles and buying little accessories to go with them. One day he asked a guy he had become close with, why there seemed to be this obsession with the phones. The guy told him that most of them will never own a car, they will never own their home and they won't be able to afford a family, he then went on to say that the phone was the one thing that belonged to them, it was the only thing they could express their personality through. I felt really sad when I heard that, it's like some bad futuristic movie only it's real, I remember thinking to myself that I hoped it never happened here.

 Fast forward to today, I was in a mall last week that I have gone to since I was about eight years old. I had noticed the decline of the mall over the last few years and last week was startling. I think it has to do with the way today's youth shop for things and also the cost of goods. Gone are all the stores that sold quality goods and practical goods. Even the anchor store Sears is gone now. I wanted a pair of pants, I was shocked to learn not one store catered to men, they were all for women only and mostly boutique stores. The other thing I noticed was the kiosks in the center iles that used to sell practical items like cookware, leather belts and special accessories were replaced by people selling new and used guady costume jewelry and used items like old china sets, lamps or coins that had no value. It looked like the people bought the items from an estate sale or garage sale and brought them to the mall to sell.

 The thing that I found most unsettling was that the stores were replaced by companies selling mobile phone contracts, row upon row of them. The only other stores and kiosks that were still in business were selling accessories, sleeves and jackets for cell phones. Basically the entire mall was cheap jewelry, ladies panties and cell phone paraphernalia. I call that junk, it's not useful. Where are the clothing stores, speciality shops for food, real shoe stores etc. Cat and dog posters are useless to me. Frightening really, is this what our economy is becoming. It reminds me of when the Europeans first came over and gave the native people trinkets for their land. The natives paid a heavy price for basically junk. As I was leaving I heard one friend say to another, "didn't you just buy a new case for your phone", and the friend said, "well I can't afford a car and I live with my parents, this is the only thing that's mine... dude".

Friday, June 1, 2018

Canada goes to war with Trump!

After a year in office, Donald Trump finally realized that he had been holding his trade war map upside down. It wasn't Mexico that he was mad at, after all this time he discovered it's Canada. Yes blame Canada, with their health care and maple syrup, they are the cause of all things bad in the US. This morning after his daily gluing of a raccoon to his head, he declared war on Canada!

 Immediately we went into action, we asked Celine Dion and Justin Beiber to begin releasing horrible ear worms that will be played over and over in malls everywhere. We shut off the maple syrup pipe lines. We are recalling all of our hockey players, good luck with your boring NHL after that happens. All Canadian comics are also recalled, now for comedy you can tell knock knock jokes.

 Finally I am preparing for war, I have pulled out old Mabel, she was last used in the war of 1812 and she stopped you darn Americans before and she will do it again. This time instead of cannon balls, we are using giant spit balls made out of leaflets telling Americans to stop watching Fox News!