Saturday, December 29, 2018
One of my friends jokes in a "dark humour" kind of way, that she has to buy her own Christmas gifts because her Santa died. I joke back and say that my Santa got Alzheimer's and I have to buy my own Christmas gifts as well. My sister and her partner started something similar this year, they bought all their own gifts this year and then gave them to each other to give back on Christmas. This way they explained giggling, each person received exactly what they wanted and in the right size. No hassles, no returns, no unwanted gifts. They did however; throw in a few surprises, just to keep things exciting.
I forgot to get myself something this year, I didn't think of it until we were opening up gifts at my sister's place. No big deal, there will be sales all week plus less crowded in the stores. Today I had to return some items and run a few errands. Then I decided to buy myself something. Looky what I got myself for Christmas!!! :)
I'm pulling on my new lounge pants, getting into a snuggly sweater, making myself a huge cup of hot chocolate (the real stuff) and some homemade cookies and enjoying this. I wish you could join me. Movie review tomorrow... lol.
Friday, December 28, 2018
I'm not a religious person (anymore) but I still like to celebrate Christmas, to me it's more about traditions, family and friends. I never know how I'm going to feel about the day as there have been many negative changes in my life these last few years. I am training myself to see the holiday for what it was intended, a fun cheerful time to break up the darkest days and impending winter. I don't mean to take away anything from people who see it as a holy time, it's just a fact as to why so many religions hold special holidays with lights, gifts, feasts around this time of year.
I didn't go to mass Christmas eve this year. I usually go as part of the tradition, I had stopped for a while but I found that I was missing something and so started again years ago. I mostly went to hear the choir and see old friends who came home for Christmas. Last year however I realized that I no longer enjoyed it, the tradition was lost. I was alone, I have no family. I don't know most of the people who come now, there is no more choir to speak of, they put it at five o'clock and there was a chorus of wailing kids who have never been to mass since last Christmas, with parents that had no control of the situation. Instead of a gathering after, everyone now rushes home to Christmas eve dinner, as I drove away last year I said to myself, "sadly this is my last time going".
This Christmas was good, mom was able to leave the home for a day out, my sister lives a little more than an hour away and we go there for Christmas day lunch, it's always been our tradition that the big meal is at noon. Mom was in a happy mood, we enjoyed ourselves, sometimes she was in her own world and sometimes she was with us, each year it's less but we take what we can get.
This year was another unbelievable marker in time for us. This was Christmas number ten without my Dad. Where did the time go, I remember blogging about it, that one day it will be year ten and now, here we are! I really miss him at Christmas because he could be the biggest kid of us all at Christmas. I often joke that he was my eating buddy, we both liked the old style Christmas cakes, cookies and desserts. Most people these days only want the store bought goop so there is no point in making any as I will be the only one eating them. I don't feel sad however; I guess I have gotten used to the idea that he is gone, I'm just unnerved by the passage of time. I also didn't want to feel melancholy, we had a good day and I wanted to just accept the day. If you remember only a few weeks ago mom could never have left her nursing home, we even suspected she may not make it to Christmas, now here she was, enjoying herself, even making funny jokes and I wanted to leave it at that.
People think the worst thing at Christmas is a house full of family, (I know there are exceptions like abuse or heavy drinking/drugs etc) over the last few weeks I had read many blogs or posts online, moaning about family at Christmas, I have experienced both large family gatherings when I was younger to now, just me here alone, trust me there is nothing worse than waking up to an empty house Christmas morning. Sometimes it feels like past memories are not really memories at all, they are scenes from a Christmas movie that I had watched, old photos tell me the memories are real, that it wasn't a movie. I no longer feel hopeless about this either, I just need to build a new family, I was hoping to have made connections by now but no. Still there is next year and at the rate time keeps speeding up, I don't have to wait long for next Christmas. Lol, maybe I will just leave everything up and pretend I'm efficient.
Thursday, December 27, 2018
Yesterday was boxing day, it was named for the fight you will have while trying to shop for deals. That is an alternative Christmas fact. A couple of years ago I tried shopping on boxing day for the first time in my life. To be honest I didn't get any great deals, I had actually gotten better deals leading up to Christmas that year. I think it would have been different if I wanted a tv or computer, something along those lines but as far as shoes or clothes I found it a giant waste of time, I decided never to do that again. I was feeling cabin fever yesterday so I did go to a mini mall near me, I wanted to get out of the house. There is a fair sized discount type store there. I went in to see if I could get chocolates etc on sale. I like to bring a box of chocolates with me when I go to visit family and friends over the Christmas holidays, at least I am not coming to the house empty handed. Unfortunately people must have been there at six in the morning and bought everything that even remotely referenced Christmas. I know that I probably should have went earlier but I am not interested in the boxing day rush. When I went in, the shelves were completely empty. The only thing left on sale was cans of peas and green beans, I have to confess they were a beach to wrap but the look on people's faces was my reward enough.
At this store, you can't get any nice clothes there but you can get good functional clothes; however they were the same price as before Christmas. I did get some comfy lounge pants, great for watching movies and eating Christmas cookies while relaxing over the holidays.
I also felt I needed to buy myself something because it was "me day", yes it's true, yesterday was the feast of Stephen it's a day where everyone is supposed to give me gifts and food, it's a proven scientific fact that people named Steven or Stephen are really cool people, especially Scorpio Stevens, those are some of the best Stevens, you are blessed to know a Scorpio Steven, that's why the holy men and women everywhere got together and created a special day for us.
There is even that old song, I think it goes something like...
There's this kinky kind of guy
and his name is Steven
He likes his pizza not well done
just right and crisp and even!
I am not sure of the words but something like that I believe. I forgive you for missing the day because like I said, most Stevens are awesome! ;)
Tuesday, December 25, 2018
Santa came! Santa actually came, well sort of, I got a Christmas gift! Last night as I was wrapping gifts, I heard a soft knocking at the door. When I answered it was one of my neighbors, he was on his way to see family and wanted to drop off a gift. It's probably a thank you gift for looking after the animals whenever he and his wife go away for a few days. I know the real reason, Santa inspired him so that I would have some Christmas spirit, it was nice to wake up to a gift under the tree. Yes... I jiggled it, lightly shook it, I listened to the sound, I tried to smell it lol. I believe it to be chocolates! YAY! :) Like a kid, I enjoyed the unknown.
Have a great day today everyone, I'm getting ready to meet up and have Christmas dinner.
This is my mom's little bear, he is actually old enough to drink I believe lol, we are sending peace and love over this holiday season.
Monday, December 24, 2018
I was thinking this morning about our perspective as children. When I woke up, my first thought was, ugh it's Christmas eve. I remembered that I have to put some final touches on cleaning/decorating, I needed to do some baking for tomorrow and wrap some gifts. Procrastination is a snapping turtle that caught me by the butt this morning, as it has done for the last ten years. I used to be organized once upon a time, then I fell into a routine of putting things off.
I started to remember what Christmas eve meant to me as a child. The magic, the wonder, the anticipation, I miss that feeling, it seems so far away now... but eventually we grow up.
If you are celebrating tonight or tomorrow, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays. Take the time to enjoy yourself and the people around you. We deserve this break, we deserve some happiness and enjoyment.
Sunday, December 23, 2018
Saturday, December 22, 2018
It's snowing here again thankfully, you may be surprised that I said thankfully but the last few days turned warm and yesterday it rained all day. By the evening the ground was getting pretty bare. The weather forecasts were calling for a green Christmas, around here that actually means a brown muddy Christmas or dull gray Christmas, there is usually nothing green about it. Even Christmas lights lose their magic when all the cords are exposed and have no snow or frost to glisten off of. Considering we had snow for Halloween and it pretty much has stayed since then, I was ticked! Yesterday I was saying, "oh no you didn't mother nature, you didn't just melt all the Christmas snow after dumping it on us for two months! Luckily Santa caught this and used some of his Christmas magic to make it a white Christmas again.
It's nice when people decorate for the holidays and I try not to judge but part of me just can't help it, I hear that little voice saying, "what are they thinking"! Here are my personal picks.
1) A couple near me are landscapers and they do a nice job, however one of their Christmas trees is decorated with all orange lights, like a giant pumpkin-Christmas tree genetic experiment gone wrong. The colour clashes with all the surrounding trees, like a beautiful model with a large pimple on their forehead.
2) Another couple near me put up some of those giant inflatable lawn ornaments, I guess they were so pleased that they added a few more. The problem is that they put them up weeks ago and now they no longer work properly. It looks like Santa, Frosty and friends are all are suffering from food poisoning and are staggering out from a horrible Christmas party.
3) Speaking of lawn ornaments, one house with a very small lawn, has put so many Christmas statues and ornaments up that you could mistake it for a garage sale. There is a life size nativity scene, Santa with his sleigh and reindeer, plus every Christmas or winter character you could think of. The stories I think are starting to meld together, I mean as far as I know, I don't remember Frosty the snowman traveling with the three wise men to bring gifts!
4) Neighbors of mine didn't want to potentially harm any of their trees so they wrapped lights around an old telephone pole that is no longer in use. A rotten old pole with pretty lights wrapped around it still looks like a rotten old pole.
5) Finally the classic bachelor move, nail a bunch of lights to the edge of your roof never to bother with them ever again, leave them on most of the year, let the colors fade and never ever change the burned out ones.
But I'm not judging! :)
Friday, December 21, 2018
I was listening to the radio on my way home from visiting mom and they were talking about different holiday traditions. One is a Christmas day tradition that is not actually about celebrating Christmas. They were talking about a tradition I have heard about before. One where many Jewish families spend the afternoon together at the movie theater and then go out after to a Chinese restaurant.
They were saying that the two cultures combined to create an alternative to the day. Jewish people could go out for the afternoon and not feel judged because the Chinese people also did not celebrate the holiday.
Now many non Jewish people are starting to do the same. It's a lot less hassle to go out for Christmas dinner, than to cook all day while trying to entertain a house full of guests. Plus even better, when the day is over, everyone goes home to a quiet house that doesn't look like a tornado went through. I was thinking that would be a good tradition to follow, not because I have family issues, the opposite actually, I pretty much have no more family. I was thinking there are a lot of people in the same boat. Either people with no family around or people who don't celebrate Christmas, I think it would be fun to get a few friends together and go out for the afternoon. I would imagine that you do not need to worry about crowds on Christmas day. If mom wasn't able to celebrate Christmas with us, I can see myself trying something like that, it would beat staying at home watching "It's a wonderful life" over and over... and over lol.
Today is the solstice, the days will thankfully begin to get longer. On a cloudy day it can be dark here by 4:00, blaaaaaah! Can we say, DEEEeeeepressing! However the darkness is banished around here, banished by my pretty pretty Christmas lights, I bet who ever invented colour Christmas lights was probably secretly gay!
Thursday, December 20, 2018
The other night one of the tv channels started playing a movie for the holidays, it was a take on the Grinch who stole Christmas, the one with Jim Carrey as the Grinch. I started watching it but I just couldn't take it after a while, to be honest I'm not a Jim Carrey fan and his portrayal of the Grinch just reaffirms my dislike for him. I didn't find it funny, annoying actually and considering there would be children watching, I thought the jokes were not appropriate at times. Also can anyone explain to me why he would make the Grinch sound like Sean Connery? In fact when you consider how long this story has been around, they could have improved the humour quite a bit. Like fingernails down a chalkboard, the movie got under my skin and I had to turn it.
Later I sat down to watch another channel and the original cartoon of the Grinch came on. It's interesting to watch and be impressed when you think that this story was thought up out of the blue. The little jokes, the catchy tunes, the animation without the help of a zillion megabytes, plus being smart enough to have James Earl Jones singing the main song before people knew who James Earl Jones was, all show real talent and creativity. There is also the nostalgia factor, I can remember when we were kids being excited the day after it would air, especially the boys because we loved the song, we would laugh and laugh at the "sea sick crocodile" or the "thirty nine and a half foot pole" references.
The movie version made me feel annoyed, bored, a little offended, irritated to the point of no longer watching. The cartoon on the other hand made me smile, giggle, sing along at times, think about the bigger picture in life, fondly remember Christmases past, for a brief moment even remember what it felt like to be young again. In the battle of Grinch vs Grinch, it's clear to me who wins!
Wednesday, December 19, 2018
Yesterday I went onto a certain site to see regarding changes that had been made. It's the site that no longer allows adult content, sadly if you type in "gay truckers in the woods" you will not get pictures that would ban you from ever setting foot near a holy place ever again. This was only tried out of curiosity, I was not familiar with the site before (no matter what lies OLD LURKER tries to imply in the comments section), I am not one to spend a few minutes browsing porn.
While searching around I stumbled upon gay sites that are for couples. This is a growing trend (happily) especially among younger gay men. One of the recurring photos is guys in love kissing in a passionate embrace. Unlike the older generations, they have grown up feeling as part of society and so they want to post about their first relationship, getting engaged, being on their honey moon as a married gay couple, just like all their straight friends do. To be honest I feel a little sadness that I didn't let myself go there, the truth is once I reached my thirties, things had improved a lot, in Canada I could have functioned fairly easily as a gay man in a relationship. However I also feel extremely happy for these young men and there is no amount of porn that gives me greater pleasure than seeing two men in love kissing. Yes many photographers try to mimic the emotion but you can almost feel it coming through the screen when it's real. It's a beauty on its own, like a field of wild flowers, ocean view or sunset. Every time I see photos like that I remember, "that's my goal, remember that's my goal" and I almost get a feeling of having my gay batteries recharged.
There is nothing like being kissed by someone who loves you, the soft warm feeling is beyond compare but for me there was a tingly feeling in my stomach as well. In the beginning of my first serious relationship it was overwhelming.
Speaking of kissing a guy, I passed a benchmark and didn't notice. I have friends who know that I'm gay and friends I haven't talked to about being gay. I say "haven't talked to about it" as opposed to saying that they don't know because I feel that they do know. They never never ask about my dating life and I feel this is to give me space. Some friends that I did tell, said it wasn't necessary to tell them, that we are friends regardless, so I stopped feeling the need to tell people, actually I don't think about it anymore.
I just don't want people feeling sorry for me thinking that I am some little scared rabbit hiding down a gay hole, hidden from the straight people. I don't care, if someone asks I have no problem telling them. Now the benchmark that I completely missed at the time. I met up with a guy at a mall, we had met before. We had a coffee date, I think he's totally cute (plus a lot younger than me, yes I'm bragging, wouldn't you). Later on as we were going our separate ways we hugged, he asked if he could kiss me, I said yes and so we did, ( an A+ kisser was he).
As I was walking to my car, the little voice in the back of my mind said, "wow, when did we get this comfortable, did you just hug and kiss a guy on the lips while standing in a crowded mall"? Smirking to myself and feeling no regrets I answered, "why yes I did"!!!
Monday, December 17, 2018
I got a text a few weeks back from a straight friend, he had a question for me and the next thing I knew, he was sometimes telling me to go harder, faster and then softer, slower, gentler. Yes that's right, I joined a curling team! If you are not familiar with the sport, that's where they slide the curling rocks down the ice. You are trying to gain points by where your rock lands and you are also playing against an opposing team so you want a better rock position than them, plus it doesn't hurt to bump a few of their rocks
When I first got the text, I warned my friend that I have never played before, I do actually watch it from time to time but I wasn't a dedicated fan, so I'm always learning about game rules. I didn't do too badly the first week and I really enjoyed it. I was told that the league is just for fun, there are people who play at every level and not to worry. At first I was a spare in case someone got sick but now I'm on a team.
It's a good way to get out of the house, I know most of the people on the other team's as well. It's fun to trash talk and tell the other players that they are going down, lol. After, we have drinks, go over our mistakes, brag about the perfect shots each other made, then bust out laughing. That was the Christmas party I mentioned, we have stopped playing until after Christmas and everyone brought food, snacks etc. It gave us a chance to catch up with old friends and to meet some of the new people in the area.
After we hit the showers, my favorite part! It's weird, most know that I'm gay and will ask me to wash their back but not their other straight friends, I joke about how far down am I allowed to go, they just smile and shrug their shoulders but never try to stop me so I grab ass.... you guys are such pervs, I'm totally joking here, nobody takes a shower after, it's not like hockey or football lol.
I have wanted to try curling for a long time , I did try to find a team when I lived in the city but no place seemed interested in beginners. I'm also trying to add to my personal folder in life, I even find myself boring at times and want more interesting things to talk about. I'm having a lot of fun and it does help to take away the winter blues. Wow look at me, I'm a total jock now... hahaha!
Saturday, December 15, 2018
A blanket of fog (more like a large comforter) came rolling across the fields this morning. I was wondering what that means, as most things weather related these days are very unusual for the time of year. Look closely, you will see a Christmas ghost coming out of the fog oooohwoo, ok I'm going to grow up now.
Fortunately it was nothing bad, it was just a sign of a beautiful day ahead. The temperature started to rise, snow started to melt and drip from the roofs.
Most importantly the sun came out, it was a warm sunny day, the kind of day that recharges your batteries. After plowing snow from my yard, I did one of the most important things at Christmas, yes I cleaned up and put away my lawnmower! It's a small tractor mower and for winter I like to put it in a building that is high off the damp ground. That's how fast winter took over here, I expected at least one more turn at cutting the lawn so I was keeping it in a shed, I never expected to be under snow cover so fast. I had to leave it in the shed until it became warm enough to start it. Today was a beautiful March like day, there were even a lot of birds out picking up what they could find. Now with the lawnmower and garden tools stored for winter, I just need to put away the Halloween stuff and I'm ready to tackle Christmas! Just joking about the Halloween stuff I ate that a long time ago.
Friday, December 14, 2018
Holy gingersnaps! I better get my butt into Christmas gear! Ten days to get ready, now I know that I keep saying I like to coast into the Christmas holidays but I don't have anything done. I was thinking about painting the dining room where I keep the tree. However when I checked the calendar, I realized I would be cutting it close. There is enough to do without adding stress and making the house stinky with paint smell. It's ok to paint on warmer days but not so much when you can't open the windows.
Must do shopping, must clean house, must bake cookies, must bake more cookies, too late to send cards... aaah, must put up tree... hmmm, must bake more cookies, oooh must use holiday as an excuse to buy drinks. I'm ok with everything except the clean house part lol.
Thursday, December 13, 2018
I am a tv nerd, I love nature programs, science shows, documentaries, programs about space etc, etc. This may seem like a serious post but I apologize, it's going to get stupid fast. I love learning about all things nature and especially about theories as to why certain things evolved the way they did. One thing I have learned is that mother nature is unforgiving when it comes to evolution. People make the mistake in thinking, if the tree branches get higher, the animals get taller. As if something in their DNA switches on and suddenly all the deer in the next generation are born to grow taller. It doesn't work that way, what happens is nature's harshness takes over, all the shorter animals become weak, die or get eaten. Only the tallest ones survive and go on to breed. Over generations you get a taller animal.
This made me think about how nature affects people. People were shaped by the type of environment they lived in but I don't want to go into that because I don't want to start sounding like a white supremacy blog, anyway it's gingers that rule. I would like everyone to put on your silly hats now because going further, I really hope nobody takes what I am about to say seriously. For people who become easily offended, there is a new drug out for you called Growacet.
Regarding human evolution, I was thinking along the lines of penis sizes. After years of personally studying the penis, (thanks to many reference articles, also known as adult entertainment), I don't care what people say regarding race, we all know what group of people have "on average" been blessed with the biggest penises. I am not going to argue against facts and frankly, I wouldn't be offended if someone accused me of being hung... which sadly... never happens.
This had me thinking about the harsh truth as to why my ancestors lost a couple of inches off their penises when they left the warm climate of Africa. It's scary to think that they probably actually froze it off! Some poor hung caveman back in the day would be walking around with it hanging below his loin cloth and never notice until it was too late. Probably he wouldn't notice until that evening while trying to pee but only getting ice cubes out. Gangrene would set in and it would fall off. This male northern nightmare would end his chance at fatherhood.
Luckily for me, my ancestors with a much
This theory (that I just made up), explains why my people never trip over their own genitals and it does make some sense. Now however; as a "butt man"... I have another question. Over the years, I have noticed a lot of flat behinds on caucasian men. Why did white men lose their bums in the migration north... and is that why so many of us can't dance?
Wednesday, December 12, 2018
Alright I'm going to do the nasty Christmas meme. If you did this and enjoyed doing it, you suck! Lol, elfing take that you Grinches, and not the cool Dr Seuss villain we all love, the crapy creepy poorly acted Jim Carrey Grinch!
What do you hate most about Christmas?
I hate the fact that most of the people I loved in life are all dead now, making Christmas never able to live up to past Christmases.
What is your least favorite piece of Christmas music?
Ever since George Michael died everyone and their grandmother has covered his song "Last Christmas", (which has nothing to do with Christmas) and now it's common to hear different versions of that frigging song three or four times an hour on the radio or in a mall! Aaaaaaahh!
What traditional Christmas food other than fruitcake, is being sent to the garbage can?
I actually like fruitcake (you are what you eat maybe), I like it because of course, I had the real homemade thing and not that store bought garbage. In fact mom and her mother used to make a gumdrop version that I really miss to this day. As for food I don't like, I'm echoing Old Lurker's answer, Christmas ham, yuck! There is so much salt and preservatives in those hams I can't stand them. Unlike the real roasted ham we used to cook ourselves, those pink store bought hams are gross. If someone doesn't pay attention to my warnings about not giving me one, they always become my Christmas treat to the ravens.
Which animated TV Christmas special leaves you wanting to rip the wallpaper off the walls?
They used to have these religious themed ones that depressed us because the main characters always died or got killed and those were bad enough but the worst was a politically correct cartoon a few years ago where frosty the snowman and kids had to stop climate change from melting frosty and the north pole, I think the villain was a business man with a company and we all know how evil people who work for a living are. Vomit!
What was your least favorite gift ever?
That's a hard one, I don't ever remember being really disappointed by a gift. I remember I always got slippers and pjs for Christmas but felt that they shouldn't be wrapped up because it was misleading lol. I guess one time when my grandmother became too elderly to shop, one of my aunts bought the gifts for the grandchildren, we were just kids and she gave us coffee mugs for Christmas, what the heck?
Who on your Christmas list is the hardest to shop for?
I don't really have a lot of shopping to do, I guess I have to say my sister. She has a good government job, no kids and is good with money so she already has everything she wants, plus now approaching retirement, she is downsizing so she doesn't really want anything.
How would you spend this time of year, if you weren't caught up in all the holiday madness?
I really feel that you are an idiot if you LET yourself get caught up in any made up "holiday madness". I want to enjoy myself so years ago I made sure that I would continue celebrating Christmas the way it was done for years. People gathered to exchange a few gifts and share a meal with family and friends. They didn't spend weeks elbowing strangers to get a deal on cellphones or laptops. People need common sense as a Christmas gift. What's the point of celebrating Christmas if you are not enjoying yourself, it's ridiculous, you might as well stop having a Christmas because you have completely lost the meaning behind it.
Christmas is very different for me now, a little sad at times to be honest but I try not to let that happen. I had almost completely moved away from celebrating it but I found that I missed a lot of the good points so I take part in a lot of it again. It's a good way to get through the dark winter days. Have a good Christmas... meh or not. Lol
Tuesday, December 11, 2018
The answer to the question is YES, every now and again, one of my blog buddies asks me the question, "do you have snow yet"? Snow? Yes we have snow! We have lots of the white crap, it's been continually coming down since before Halloween... and no that's not normal for this area. It's so annoying that the weather stations will call for light flurries or no snow and yet we will get a huge dump of the stuff! Even if we finally get a break and it turns warm for a day, maybe even rains a little and takes the snow down, it will suddenly turn freezing cold and starts to snow again!
That's the other annoying thing, usually cold days means sunny bright weather, unfortunately not this year, it can be well below freezing and yet will still snow a lot, it's starting to rub everyone's nerves raw!
Today for example, I have to take mom to the hospital for tests, the drive is over an hour away. All week they have been promising good weather... it has been constantly snowing since I got up this morning, grrrr!
Sunday, December 9, 2018
It seems that 2018 was a good year for candy canes, as they passed my taste test. Actually this has become an issue, once upon a time, you could buy candy canes and not really worry about the flavour. Times have changed and who wants to accidentally hand out canes that taste like paint thinner! I am not sure what the stores are doing, buying cheaply made candy canes with low grade ingredients or storing them from year to year trying to eventually sell them. Either way I have come across some really awful tasting candy canes. There is nothing more disappointing than taking down the decorations, only to discover the remaining Christmas treat is inedible!
Mmmm, why yes Carnaby Sweet, I do approve of your recent batch of candy canes. They have that traditional peppermint, Christmas candy cane flavour. This will allow me to take some to work but most importantly, I can snack a little on them while decorating.
With the holidays approaching, I want to share my mom's cranberry oatmeal cookie recipe. I keep promising to do it but I get busy, then forget about posting it, only to remember when the holidays are long past. I am seeing different versions of it popping up on dried cranberry packages but this is the original. Ignore her remarks written on the recipe and follow it as per the actual recipe. I'm going to post a photo of the page, it will save time in writing everything out for me. If anything is not clear, just leave a question in the comments section or email me at the email address on my profile. When buying ingredients for the cookies, don't cut corners, just get good products, I once bought dried cranberries that were inexpensive from a discount company and they ruined my batches with an odd taste.
Saturday, December 8, 2018
I think most of my readers have the same feeling by now of time speeding up as we age. It seems to catch me off guard more and more these days, I am often actually startled by time lines that seem recent but are really distant. I have come to ease the time shock by playing a song in my head when these moments happen. It's the song "Let's Do the Time Warp Again", from The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Every time someone says something that shakes my core regarding time, I hear that chorus, loudly in my head.
Take yesterday for example, I happened to bump into a guy that I had worked with. In "my mind" we parted ways about seven or eight years ago when he was part of massive layoffs in my company. I stayed on for a few more years until they finally came for me. He did well for himself, he already had a government type job when they gave him his walking papers. I asked him if he was still there and he said yes... that he has been there fourteen years now... "LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN" f... f.. fourteen years! I couldn't believe it, I remember saying goodbye to him, shocking when he said that.
It upset me greatly because I saw how he did the right thing by arranging to begin a new job right away. He has been going on with his life having a steady job, plus a pension when he retires. Myself on the other hand, have been dealing with cutbacks, layoffs, work stoppages, loss of benefits etc ever since. I have been in such a tunnel of survival mode at work, I couldn't see it would have been better to quit long ago and go somewhere else. It would have been easier to get hired in my thirties than now in my... older than thirties. I know looking back it's easy to see what I should have done, I know it's not healthy to do that but it really affected me.
Again last night, I settled down to watch one of my favorite Christmas movies; however I just couldn't get into it, I was bored with it. The feeling that was overwhelming me was that I felt I had just watched that movie a month or two ago and not the actual time line of a year ago. I find that when I pull Christmas decorations out, I feel like I just put them away. I am not one of those people who has them up for months either, usually a week or two before Christmas, (sometimes even Christmas eve) then everything is packed away by January sixth/seventh, a tradition of my mother's. Watching the movie last night, I said to myself, "I feel like I JUST watched this", then suddenly in my mind "LETS DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN, LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN"!!!
Friday, December 7, 2018
I wish one of you were here, I would tell you to come to my bedroom, I would tell you to take your clothes off, I would tell you to get into my bed, I would tell you to roll around gently and make the bed comfortable for us, then when you are ready, I would get into bed with you and I would whisper into your ear, "thanks for getting the bed nice and warm, now not a peep out of you, turn over and go to sleep"! Hey don't judge me, it's -25 again and I don't want to get into a chilly bed, so deal with it!
Thursday, December 6, 2018
Last night one of the public broadcasting stations came through and I watched a discussion panel type show. The discussion was about men and about how to raise boys. As a side note, I had to laugh because it was a typical left leaning panel of women, a woman who became a man, a man who would loose a battle to a mosquito and an average masculine guy who feels masculinity is a bad thing. Pretty much a group of people that average boys would not be able to relate to. Still not to take anything away from the panel, they made a lot of good points about how boys are raised not to feel emotions and then we freak out when young men show no empathy.
The thing that interested me the most was a discussion with a young author afterwards. The book is called "I'm Afraid of Men" by Vivek Shraya. A transgender person caught between the world of male and female. The interview was thoughtful and it was good to hear his/her point of view of just trying to survive while being transgender and a person of colour.
What caught me most was the admission of being afraid of men, the host asked cheerfully if that still was the case, expecting a Hollywood happy ever after answer of "no" and how great it is now; however the answer was "yes, I still live in fear". The truth is that person is still very much a target especially for men. The back of the book reads "Men are afraid of me" and that's true, men would feel uncomfortable and the less thinking type would feel the need to attack, either verbally or physically.
I haven't read the book yet so I'm not going to comment further on it but I could/can relate. I remember when I was younger, I was terrified of men, groups of guys especially young guys out in the country, if they ever found out that I was gay... I would have been in danger. It's a funny coincidence that I saw this interview because I happened to be at a hockey arena on the weekend watching part of a game. There were some big guys there, I'm a tiny guy, I have always hovered around 125 pounds, I was thinking I would have no chance against them if they decided to attack me, six something and 220 solid pounds with arms the size of my thighs.
Fortunately that fear is less and less but there are still times when I am careful. When I was with Dan he thought it was funny to make me uncomfortable by holding my hand in front of people; however he was very serious at times when he knew that we could be in danger. Isn't that an interesting statement to make, "when we could be in danger" just because we loved each other put us in danger. I understand Vivek talking about being afraid of men, the truth is if you're going to get killed for being a member of the LGBTQ community, it's not by a bunch of grannies coming out of a quilting bee. Some men are probably offended by the title of the book but those same men want to ignore the facts. The truth is... I have felt that fear also, I can relate, I still do at times, it's very real.
Wednesday, December 5, 2018
Early mornings are often beautiful, in spring there is the chorus of birds, at other times of the year the different sun rises can be breathtaking. Seeing first light and the feeling that a new day is beginning has a special feeling to it. I will admit however that even though I think mornings are gorgeous, I am not a morning person.
I never have been a morning person, I would like to be a morning person but my internal clock always makes me want to sleep my heaviest between 3 a.m. and 9 a.m. my entire life, which is a total bummer when I have to be up by 5 a.m. I'm not a happy camper when I get up, I feel groggy for hours no matter how much sleep I get. I think right now is the worst time of year, even at 6:35 a.m. it's still black dark outside, I leave in the dark and get home in the dark. It doesn't help when it's freezing outside either, lately it's been between minus "eeeeek" and minus "aaaaahhkk" with a few nights of minus "where'd my #&@ing testicles go"!
Still if I didn't have to go to work, I would probably sleep in and miss the dawning of a new day and all the beauty that comes with it.
On my way to work, it was -25 that morning which caused pillars of rainbow like lights to appear in this field. I messed up on getting a better picture as I got closer but I would have missed this if I was still snoring in bed.
Tuesday, December 4, 2018
One foggy morning, at first light just before the sun came up, a unicorn came out of the mist and walked in front of me. I didn't have my camera ready but there he was, tall long legged, graceful animal with one horn pointing towards the heavens. I stopped my car, he stared at me for a few seconds and then disappeared back into the mist.
This actually did happen and as I watched the animal get closer, it was as I suspected... a young male deer. We always think of a male deer looking like one of Santa's reindeer; however in the first couple of years they often only grow little spiked horns like a goat. Sometimes like this fellow, they only grow one. I was thinking about the old people back in the day, traveling along the road, maybe having a little bit of "the drink" still in their system, probably full of superstitions and suddenly seeing that figure casting a shadow in the fog. There would have been some wild stories that evening.
I had a visitor all fall, a young buck would come to the apple trees two or three times a day. It's not uncommon to have deer in your yard, especially if you don't have a dog but it is almost unheard of to have a male deer. They are much much more weary of humans than the females. I don't hunt, I have no interest in hunting but I don't really have a problem with "true" hunters. I rent the rights to hunt on my land to a good group of guys and they keep away the idiots. I know it may sound strange but it helps keep the wild herds healthy. This picture was taken back in August or September of him.
It's the males you are allowed to hunt but not the females so the girls learn to come and eat your flowers while the males stay away. I didn't let myself get attached to the young buck, I felt his time on earth would be short because of his boldness and no fear of humans. Also to be honest he was a huge jerk to the females, beating them away from the apples, even ones with fawns at their side. I had forgotten about him the past few weeks as he disappeared just before hunting season and there were no signs of him since it ended. I tried not to get attached to him... but I can't tell you how happy I
was when he showed back up yesterday!
Sunday, December 2, 2018
When running around nude after your shower and simmering pasta sauce, remember to pull the pot off the burner, while leaving the lid on until the mixture stops bubbling, this way you don't have any tiny splashes or spitting that could turn your pasta sauce into sausage sauce.
Saturday, December 1, 2018
The first of December all ready, every year the holidays come whizzing past faster and faster. It feels like three weeks ago all the news reporters were shocked it was August the first and that the summer was half over. I'm set to enjoy this a little again. I had drifted completely away from doing anything Christmas-ish with the exception of going to my sister's for Christmas dinner. I want a little of that cheer and magic back again. I'm sick of dark days and feeling alone.
There was a farmer's market held near me, an organic farmer holds one every fall and spring for just one day, he has a huge riding arena and invites other unique organic type farmers, home style bakeries and crafts people to set up booths.
I found it hilarious that there was a group of chickens, happily walking through the crowds of shoppers, both people and birds picking up what they needed I guess lol, the hens calmly went about their business as if they did this every day. I was thinking about my ladies, they would have headed for the woods only to return that evening after all signs of people were clear. It's sort of a Christmas market, there were wagon rides and dog sled rides, I was glad to see a huge turn out again. The food can be a little expensive but you pay for what you get so it's usually delicious. They have home made sweaters, mitts and hats etc there as well. Plus lots of crafts for gift ideas. I enjoyed myself and bought way too many homemade cookies. I then spent the afternoon at a friend's talking, talking, talking which gave me a great excuse not to clean my filthy house for the holidays.
This is last year's tree, the little angel is my mother's ornament, it's older than I am so there is nostalgia in decorating as well for me.