Sunday, March 29, 2015
It's sad but.
Is it sad or just really hopelessly romantic that I check online the missed connections sections. In case someone saw me across a crowded room and was too shy to say hi, then regretted not meeting with me... Okay its probably more desperate than romantic but I actually do this. .......................................... Speaking of online, ever noticed how the guys looking for transsexuals, are often really hot. I am so ignorant about this part of sexuality but I always assumed it would be other transgender people that would want to date them. Plus why is it that so many transgender guys are super hung. I am feeling ironically cheated here! Well... I did say this blog would uncover my deep thoughts, or not.
Posted by Sooo-this-is-me at 12:43 AM No comments:
Friday, March 27, 2015
Thirty years. THIRTY YEARS!!!
This morning while listening to the radio, the hosts were discussing the fact that the movie "The Breakfast Club" will hit a mile stone of thirty years. What what what!?! No no say that can't be. I remember the summer after the release, it was a big year for us. The small country school ended at grade eleven so most students had to leave home. It was the beginning of becoming an adult, exciting and scary at the same time. Also a little sad as we knew that we would no longer see each other again. ...............................The odd thing is, I remember the movie, I remember the sound track, I remember the general feeling teens had that this was "our" movie at the time, but I never saw the movie until last year. Sounds strange as my friends would talk about it and tell me that I must see it. I intended to rent it but just never got around to it. Back in the day when you also rented the VCR to watch it with, remember that? Time passed and here we are. ............................ Thirty years, I have to say I feel I have made too many wrong choices, I am not anywhere near where I had hoped to be at this point in my life. Too many times I have taken the easiest route in life, I hate stress or the feeling of anxiety and it never pays off in the end to pick a softer way. Maybe this is part of the whole generation X view on life. ................................................ So the movie, I was borrowing old DVDs to watch and the breakfast club was in the box. So excited to finally get to see it after all these years. What did I think? Huge let down, so sad but I'm too old to relate to "my" teen coming of age movie. I thought it was mush, I was bored. Probably if I had watched it back then it would be nostalgic for me to see now. However I don't have that connection. Don't you forget about me (so says my youth). Which by the way for us diehard Simple Minds fans was the end of Simple Minds and not the beginning like most people think. Thirty years, how did that happen.
Posted by Sooo-this-is-me at 9:17 AM No comments:
Saturday, March 21, 2015
End of an Era.
Back in the day, long long ago, when we stood around and sadly watched the last of the dinosaurs dying, I remember thinking things are about to really change. ...........................................Okay so I am not that old but some days I feel like it. Yesterday I witnessed the coming end to an era. I stopped in to take part in a closing out sale of a CD store. See kids before downloading you had to buy these things called... err never mind. It is basically the only place that I know of that still sells CDs and DVDs in this city. See kids a DVD was... err forget it. ....................................... I think back to when I was in my late teens and early twenties. To me these stores were the ultimate destination. They were everywhere, even the smallest malls had at least two or three. Walking in to all the posters, rows and rows of different types of artists and the samples section to let a person try out different types of music. ............................................ Years later I remember the shock I felt one Christmas when I wanted to get a CD for my sister, I walked into one of the larger malls, only to discover all the stores had gone. I knew it was the end of me being hip, well not that I ever really was but we all have our delusions so work with me. .......................................... I also received a little shock going through the CDs yesterday, I have to admit, I didn't know eighty percent of the artists. When did I stop following music. I also had this sad feeling that there could be some really good music, but I don't have the time to discover it before the store is gone. Sad to see these types of stores go, plus there is nothing going to replace these businesses. The CD store was just the evolution of the old record store, see kids records were...... forget it. No one back then would think this day would come. I did worry when all the video stores folded. Now I'm hearing t.v. will soon change as well, I can see that for many reasons. ........................................... I did pick up a couple of CDs for five bucks total. To think this will probably be the last time I will be able to do that, walk in, browse, make that cool find, pay at the cash and walk out. I even wonder about malls in general, the smaller ones mostly, will they even be around in ten years. I saw how empty they were in the days leading up to Christmas and on boxing day, one employee said to me that online shopping was ruining their business. I guess the problem is that I feel part of me is being closed down as well, or at least memories of a younger me.
Posted by Sooo-this-is-me at 10:30 AM 2 comments:
Monday, March 16, 2015
Your Fantasy Is Not My Reality.
I am not really looking for a partner, I don't put a lot of effort into finding someone. I think it is because I have given up. I have this feeling, its that I have waited too long, all the good guys are taken and I won't settle for less just to have someone. One of my friends just said that very thing to me last weekend. ........................ One of the things that drives me batty, is all these guys that seem to be living in some sort of fantasy world. It's like they want to play the part of a movie or a memory over and over. Why can't people be honest with what they would like to get out of a relationship. Sure it's fun to add a little spark to a relationship but I feel real life is more fun. My last boyfriend had a few quirks, one being that when he would take me out to try something new, he already had this idea of how the day should go. If I should dislike the event, he would get angry or come apart from things not going the way he played it out in his head. There were other times when I was trying to date, I pretty much put my cards on the table regarding a relationship. I would meet these guys and once I started to get to know them, they were nothing like what I said I wanted. They would want me to wear certain clothes or act a certain way or they would say lines from a movie at key moments etc. I am more of a real life person, I like a guy who really knows himself and is "down to earth" that is my fantasy. I don't have time to pretend. ..........................I think a lot of the older gay men (myself included) are damaged in some way, from growing up being constantly verbally abused by most of society. I heard once we have it the worst of all the people who suffer prejudice. Meaning that a person of color or of a certain religion, at least have family and a community to back them. Growing up gay in my teenage years, you had to listen to family, friends even teachers say how much they hated us, that we were bad etc. I believe that damages us. Maybe that is part of the reason a lot of gay men have these obsessions. So no, since I just met you, please don't ask me to smell your feet, call you uncle or bottle feed you, because I am probably halfway out the door before you finish that sente......
Posted by Sooo-this-is-me at 12:01 AM 2 comments:
Sunday, March 1, 2015
And Then There Is This.
I have to be honest and say that I am pretty lucky to be a gay man in the area I live in. Though I am out in the country, most people are open to having gay friends. Lol, we can even be seen as a commodity for the cool factor with some people. Being bigoted towards gay people will make you look narrow and ignorant to many. ...........................................And then there is this. I was listening to the radio on my way to work. The topic was the new sex education classes being introduced to the schools. Because the leader of our province is an openly gay woman, the ignorance and hate just came pouring out of my radio. It didn't upset me like it would have at one time, it only made me angry and frustrated. ................................................ One man called in to inform the listeners that "homosexualitys" want to teach children to have gay sex so that they will become homosexualitys as well! Wait, what, did you just call me a homosexuality? The usual garbage was thrown out also. Apparently we have a secret agenda, gay conversion. It never ceases to amaze me, that they continue with the thinking, gay children are converted straight kids. Maybe the poor kids were forced to listened to Ricky Martin songs, watch Ellen or something along those lines. ................................................It's not about the sex people, odd how it seems they are obsessed with every type of gay sex act they hear about. I wish they would understand, a person is gay, even though they may never have sex in their entire life. There are many many gay couples who don't have sex or have very little sex and they want it that way. It's only about who we are attracted to, who we love and not who we sleep with. Most gay people were raised by straight parents, so that blows the theory we have the same sexuality as our parents. ...........................................It is almost comical listening to people calling in, acting like they are an expert because they knew a guy who had a mechanic with a gay cousin twice removed, this clearly gives them all the knowledge they need to comment. I can tell they still see us as damaged straight people who just need some type of fixing, I can tell they still see us as a "homosexual" and not as Mike,Tom or Megan, good people who just happen to be gay. Many older gay people tell me they no longer take part in arguments, they say leave those ignorant people behind and move on with living, that they don't have time nor feel they need to justify their life. I agree, time to move on with our secret gay agenda of making dinner, taking out the garbage, sitting down to our favorite t.v. show, gay laundry and when time allows, getting a break to go out with friends.
Posted by Sooo-this-is-me at 9:12 AM 3 comments:
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