Friday, November 28, 2008

Not Coming Up Roses

Tonight I'm not really in the mood to post anything serious so lets talk about the tube. Since I'm a little bit gay myself, I like to see any other decent gay person make it in the world. It is getting better for people whether in business, government, acting, singing etc but there still can be road blocks. The other night Dave and I sat down to watch the new 'Rosie O Donald Live' show, in spite of her few melt downs and being some what of a loud mouth, I still like Rosie. Did any of you see the show? I was hoping for a hit, I wanted this to be a come-back for her, however we sat there in silence. I thought it was terrible, Dave thought it was terrible, the lines were read like a high school play, she had a lot of not so famous actors show up and say a few lines, the jokes were awful and it made me think of a show that was produced back in the fifties. I know she said she wanted to do a variety hour like the old Carol Burnett show, but it should of had an up dated feel to it. We can forgive the shows from back then as it was all new to entertainment however there is no excuse now. I think you will see this flop fast unless they get better writers and quick! I hear it is very hard to get into the business, so I would think that whoever put this show together, should have enough experience to step back and say "hold it everyone, this just is not working" people have so many choices these days that they will click away and it is very unlikely that they will come back. I'm not trying to rain on her show, but as "family" I want to see her do well so I hope something changes fast. We taped the show and I am sorry to say mostly hit the fast-forward button.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thursday In Canada

Today is Thursday in Canada, just a Thursday, like any other Thursday where people go to work, come home, eat supper, watch a bit of TV and go to bed, nothing else! Well... so to all my American friends out there I would just like to say ... you are what you eat! ;P

Well unless you eat tofu or salad today then that just spoils my smart-ass-y-ness.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008


A month ago Dave and I went to a celebration of a person's life. That is the only way I could describe the event. I thought it was to be a memorial but I felt it was more of a celebration. Some of you may remember I wrote about a gay couple who are friends of Dave. They had adopted two boys with learning disabilities, threw all their resources behind helping the boys and created a family. Last year one of the men developed cancer and he seemed to be recovering but sadly it looks like the drugs were too strong for his weakened condition and he died suddenly. I had never met these men but Dave was invited for the evening and I was welcomed to come. The partner that was left behind wanted to give the boys time before he held this memorial as it would be too raw for them to follow on the heel of the funeral.

I was expecting a sombre evening, with whispers maybe even tears. I always wondered how the father left behind coped and thought of how unfair it seemed that two boys who were given a second chance at a family, had part of it ripped away. I wanted to come to show my support, I felt he would know that I being gay as well could understand his loss. I was greeted however with cheerful smiles, made to feel welcomed and told funny stories of their past life together, as I said it was a celebration of his life and I thought that was beautiful. There were many people there and one could quickly see that family and friends had circled around to try and fill the empty spot. It was good to see they still keep on living the way he would want them to go on. Keeping in mind I had never met him, his pictures revealed a very handsome 'James Dean' type looking man. It was also interesting to see the groups he was involved with and I soon got the impression of a mover and shaker in any community.

The thing that impressed me the most was how they turned their life over to the boys, they understood that the boys would develop at a much slower rate than most children so they constantly stimulate them in fun and interesting ways. They traveled everywhere with them, if the boys heard about a city or country that looked interesting to them, they took them on summer vacation. They had them in programs to help with their learning skills and had them involved with groups like other children. They also had them reading books and playing games that challenge them. It was also interesting to see that a lot of the people there who were doting over the boys were their teachers and tutors, they generally had a love for the boys like their own family members. Many told me that the boys were what gave them joy in their jobs, they said that they only wished the other children would put half of the effort into learning as these guys do, also they said if only other parents would be as involved in their children's learning. I said to Dave that as bad as this sounds, since the world judges people on looks first, I am so glad with all their problems, they are really cute little guys, they are not quite teens yet but you can tell they will be handsome and in this cruel world that will help them.

There was a mixed crowd of gays, lesbians and straight people and it felt good that all these people were coming together to show support. It was also interesting to meet the younger brother of the man who passed away, him and his gay partner, I have often noticed it seems common that a gay person has a gay brother or sister. I also met my competition, before I met Dave the guys were trying to fix Dave up with a friend of theirs (Shawn) but they just never were able to cross paths and then I came into Dave's picture before he could go out on a date with Shawn, well sorry there Shawn your loss, "meooow hissssssssssssss" back off! Kidding, Shawn was actually a really nice guy.

The evening went by quickly and we decided it was time to leave. Sad that I never had the chance to meet this man because looking back on his life, I like him and would loved to have been his friend. Time ran out on us as we knew about each other but never had the chance to meet, I guess it just shows how we should not keep putting things off in life. I could not help notice that I actually enjoyed myself and what a statement to be made about the life of someone who did so many good things to make a stranger feel good about the way they lived that life. Also he and his partner have given me a life lesson, I went there feeling they were heroes for adopting, however both men made it very clear to people that they felt, they were the ones blessed and not the boys. I think looking back on the evening, we would be lucky if we get to make that much of an impact in life. I remember reading something on Birdie's site ( sorry Birdie too lazy to find the link) about all we have to leave behind that is a part of who we were would be our love, and that is all we can hope for.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Into Feet

I'm into feet... that would be 'Six Feet Under' so don't worry I will not be writing a kinky post here, even though some of you probably wish I would! I had heard of Six Feet Under but I was not sure if it was a movie or TV show, different people told me that I would like it. Dave told me he was a fan and I knew my sister was also a fan. Over the last few years we have been giving her the complete seasons as gifts. Dave and I borrowed the box-sets from her and started watching it the last couple of weeks, I really like it. I'm not sure if any of you have heard about it but the show is basically a family that runs a funeral home, with interesting views on life, death and also very dark humour. Along with the raw sex scenes and swearing, there is also a beauty to the interaction between the characters, many lines from the show give me that catch moment like a well written poem.

I am nearing the end of season one and the last show I watched touched me, it was about David, one of the brothers who is trying to accept the fact that he is gay. He is confronted by angry anti-gay protesters at the funeral of a gay teen that was killed by bashers. He tells his friend that he feel like he belongs with the protesters and not with the gay people, that he wants to be the family man he sees in his church with a child on his knee. He prays to God that he is lonely and empty and begs for his help. It was like a scene from my recent past and I could not help feel sorry for the character.

I can't imagine what would have happened to me if I saw this years ago, would it have kick started something in me or would I sit there in denial. I felt good inside watching the show because now I don't feel that way anymore. To me it is so natural to be cuddled up on the couch with Dave, now I have the feeling of belonging, that this life makes sense, it is where I am suppose to be. I hope that all the 'Davids' out there can make it through, it certainly is a hard process to get your head around straight (no pun intended).

I don't watch a lot of TV but I like this show (so far) I can see why it never made it to main stream channels, most people would not 'get it' or would be offended by it. Still it amazes me how this was a hidden jewel while shows like Clue-less, Full House and Doc with Billy Ray Cyrus tortured us for years by just being on the tube.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


I should point out regarding my last post "I Wonder" that as a Canadian, I have the right to marry Dave one day if we should reach that point in our relationship. The bible jerks tried to stop it up here but we won, I want to be clear that 'bible jerks' does not mean everyone involved in religion as there are many good people in every faith, we all know who I mean. They could not label me as second class, I'm equal to them under Canadian law and there is not a thing they can do about it.

Still I feel really upset over what happened in the States, I have made a lot of blog friends south of the border who I think very highly of and part of me just feels that I can't be totally free unless you guys are free, I don't feel whole in society unless you guys are considered whole in your society. It was hard to read so many of your blogs and feel the pain of what the vote meant to all of you. It hurts, I'm not affected by law but it hurt me so I can imagine how many of you felt.

Finally, I also found it sad because many people in other countries watch what Americans do, considering that many countries still jail or execute gay people, I think it would have given hope or courage to gay people in these types of countries. If the U.S had of opened this door it could have started a dialog around the world and maybe some countries would have become more exposed (educated) on gay issues, they would see we are not bad people, just people who love the same but our sexuality is different. Maybe some countries would have relaxed their laws, however now I think for those gay people, their closet doors have just been shut a little tighter and honestly I can't blame them.

Monday, November 17, 2008

I Wonder

I wonder if the people who voted for prop8 were told that since the state of California would be losing the revenues from the extra marriage licences, that those who voted 'yes' would have to pay higher taxes than those who voted no, would they have been so moral to still vote that way. What about the statements being made that gays should not have to pay full taxes since they are not full citizens, would all these straight people mind picking up the tab so that no one can mention the word 'gay' around their children, because we all know we never heard the word 'gay' when we were in school. What about the children who will be stuck in institutions now since gays can't adopt or even single people for that matter. In Arkansas, are they ready to pick up the slack and open their homes, wallets and hopefully hearts for these children. As a Christian you can't take an action and expect to wash your hands of that action after, I think if you stop someone from giving a child a loving home, you better be prepared to open your home and in a loving way, not an abusive way. The churches that stuck their noses into politics, should the state not go to them and say "okay you got your way, now you must pay the piper, the children need someone to look after them, what will you do about it" and since it is churches probably they need to set up a task force to make sure the children will be safe. If churches are getting themselves into politics and thus into the lives of people who are not even a part of those churches, should they lose the tax free status they enjoy. I think we can now see why a lot of church groups are against any hate-crime laws, instead being for them, should they not want to help and protect people. Time shows us again and again that most people really want to be able to discriminate against others, to be able to say "I'm better than you", these days it is not accepted by most to look down on people because of their skin colour, gender, religion etc, however they still have one can that is accepted to kick around (gays), it was their final chance to show their true heart, a heart that was able to say "ah ha, got you, I'm better than you... so you don't deserve the same freedoms that I get to have". People never surprise me, on the whole they will always take the low road for everything until they are embarrassed into doing the right thing, however what if there was a price to pay, what if you could not just make an X and walk away thinking your vote will not come at a cost to you, how strong would people be then. Sadly there was a price to pay, the cost will be picked up by the gays and lesbians who wanted to say to the world, "I love this person, I want to spend the rest of our time together".

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

To The Bat-s Cave

The morning of my birthday I knew we were going out in the country but I also knew it was not just straight hiking (no pun intended) as Dave had something up his sleeve. Turns out he was taking me to explore some caves, I had always wanted to try this and now I finally had the chance. He said we need to have a good breakfast before we go but first he would give me what I really wanted..... then we had breakfast an hour later....yes I said an hour!
Dave had recently shown me how to play checkers, it may sound funny to some but I never knew how to play checkers before. I became hooked and so he gave me as my first gift my own game, he was a little embarrassed by doing that but I thought it was cute and loved the gift. After breakfast I still did not know what he had planned for us but we dressed warm and headed out. It was a beautiful sunny day, lucky for us as the past week was cold with lots of snow. We arrived and I figured out what we were doing, the guide had us put on our hard hats and got ready to enter the cave.

It was dark and a little creepy and...I loved it! We came upon a group of bats sleeping on the ceiling, I thought what a good picture that would make for you guys to see and so snapped this pic, the flash was very bright, yeah probably should not have done that, you really should not scare bats when you are trapped in a cave with hundreds of them.

Okay onward we go, watch out for the water, hope there are no bears sleeping in there.

More sleeping bats again, this time I remembered to leave my flash off. No I'm just kidding, I did not use the flash for a spooky effect, the bats are asleep for the winter, nothing can wake them up only heat, the guide told us that they will not awaken from camera flashes, our movements or sound, only heat will awaken them as they wait for spring. Some bats even had frost on them and looked frozen. They were actually really tiny.

You could see where water once did flow through these caves. That is supposedly what formed the caves.

There were stairs in places to help you get up or down, this way everyone could enjoy the caves.

Getting near to the end, we were shown a cave-in, rocks collapsed and blocked this part of the cave, maybe we should get out of here now!

Ahh, light at the end of the tunnel. I did not get to take that many pictures as I was having too good of a time to think about my camera. Also some pictures just don't show well. There was a part of the cave they called the cathedral and it was as big as a church inside, yet it does not show up on film, the size I mean.

We went hiking after and I will put those pictures up later. We enjoyed watching the guys zipping around on cables, this spring we are going to come back and give it a try. You hike to the tallest mountain (our mountains are hills really) and then you strap on a harness and slide from tree to tree on a cable going from one mountain to the other back and forth until you finally make your way back down to the ground, looks like a lot of fun.

After the hike Dave took me to a restaurant where the waiters and waitresses sing and some dance. I thought it was going to be hokey but was soon rewarded with some really talented young singers, I really enjoyed them and they put on a good show. The food was good, you could order almost anything but their main specialty was a sea food buffet. I also tried frog legs that night, it is no joke, they really do taste like chicken.

The next morning Dave gave me two photo calendars, I asked why and he said this was my birthday weekend not just one day. I told him he had done enough, he said he was not finished yet. He gave me what I wanted again... yes again for almost an hour again... eat your heart out! When I came down from my shower, I was surprised by a huge breakfast of 'gay pancakes' as he called them! They were good!

That is when he asked me to look at one of the photos he gave me, he said he liked it best, I kept looking to see what was so special when I suddenly saw the front row seats to the Celine Dion concert. Yeah he spoiled me, it was the best birthday ever, still I love my little checkers game and gay pancakes the best I think, because that shows the cute side of Dave and that is why I am nuts about this guy!


Sometimes words can really sting, I know that I am suppose to ignore statements made out of ignorance however we all know that is easier said than done. This past weekend my parents and I were talking about a politician that they do not like, my mom made the following statement "he is so crooked, remember when he tried to get his homosexual son off", I said that his son was not a homosexual, his son was a rapists, she answered back "homosexual or rapists, whats the difference". Ouch Mom, I have to say it is partly age that makes her say this, she was not like that years ago, now she is at the age where everything and everyone is wrong, crooked or out to get people. Still however when I am suddenly slapped with something like that, I can't help wonder how they will view me if I told them.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

I Did Not Know

I did not know that when they say not to bring any cameras or recorders to a concert, they don't actually mean it anymore.
I did not know that they no longer search people for recording devices at concerts.
I did not know that I need not worry about having my camera taken away.
I did not know that everyone at the Celine Dion concert 'except me' would bring their camera.
I did not know that Dave got us front row seats, I knew that we would be close but not that close.
I did not know that the spot light would shine on the place where we were sitting as the beautiful Celine walked towards us upon entering to sing.
I did not know she would stand one foot from me.
I did not know that she would sing about six feet from us and wave to us.
I did not know that at the end of the concert she would stop and grab Dave and I by the hand.
I did not know I was going to have the most wonderful time at a concert ever.
I did not know that I could bring my camera... I did not know that I would have no way of showing it. :(

It was a great concert, Dave 'knows people' and I can't believe we went from not being able to go, to having front row seats. It was the last of my birthday presents from Dave, he is just too good to me. I wish I brought my camera but I'm not sad, I just wanted to tell people she grabbed my hand. Dave and I are like school girls over this, we just think it is cool in a funny way. When she was walking out, Dave reached his long arm out and called her name, she firmly grabbed him by the hand and I thought it would be cool to touch her so I touched her arm and she grabbed my hand and gave it a quick squeeze. There were so many people trying the same thing though it was not like she could sit down and chat with us lol.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Not Into Posting

I just don't feel like posting these last few days, nothing bad happened just that I am not up to it for some reason. I still have not said anything about my b'day and what a great day Dave made for me or a few other little things I could write about. I guess a little blog laziness. I would just like to say Dave managed to use his connections and got tickets for the lovely Celine Dion tomorrow, very and I mean 'very' close to the stage, should be a good show. Now all you hard rockers out there don't give me a rough time over this, lets just say this is part of me accepting my gay side (I love her powerful voice) and I'm sure there will be a lot of 'family' there. Dave did it for my birthday knowing how much I wanted to go, now see why I love this man so much.

Things are great between us so not posting has nothing to do with that either, posting feels like a chore at the moment. Regarding Dave and I, since most of you know the problems we were having, I would just like to say Dave is really working on that, lately we seem to be working on it a lot. I am a little sad that Dave is not the kind of guy who would suddenly out of the blue, come on to me and have us end up doing it on the floor, couch, graveyard* or table (he has a glass table so bad idea anyway) but he is letting himself enjoy our 'special' time together more often, plus he is much less likely to say no to me now. I think I have learned a few extra buttons to push as well. The main thing is I feel total love coming from the guy towards me and that is all we can ever really hope for, no relationship is perfect but I am happy when I am with him and lonely when we are apart. We have been talking about moving in together, actually talking about it a lot lately and I think I am going to do it. Dave makes me a better person and I find I often take the easy or wrong route when I am alone in the apartment. My only thing is moving in will be like giving up a part of myself and I am just starting to figure out who that person is, however on the other hand I have been alone all my life and I am tired of that feeling, been there done that. I had my own "awe" moment the other night while here at my place, I noticed that I often roll or wake up trying to move to where Dave's warm body should be in bed, so even in my sleep I miss him when he is not around, okay everyone all together "awwwwwwe".

*shout out to Java!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Hey Yankee Doodles, You Did It!

Wow! Congrats to my American readers, I hope this election gives you what you wanted, hoped for, needed. It also is a historic day for your country.

As a Canadian, I am not sure how Obama will relate to this country, whether good or bad for relations and trade, but the one thing I am happy about is Palin has no chance of becoming President and that thought scared the crap out of me.

Monday, November 3, 2008

ID Please

Well I made it back safe and sound, I have to say I had a great time this past weekend. As I get older I find the thought of my birthday scarier than Halloween. As per Patrick's request, I will include the list I was given since both Dave's and Patrick's lists made me laugh. Dave's actual list...

Friday evening: Very cute cowboy outfit.

Saturday: Hiking boots, jeans, sweat shirt, long-johns, old jacket, hat. Extra clothes in case.

Saturday evening: Nice shirt, dress pants, tie, nice jacket, dress shoes.

Saturday night: No clothes required, just a towel and Kleenex.

Okay I really noticed the last one too. Friday we went to my sister's party and Dave mingled really well with everyone, he had a great time (I'm so glad). My sister really likes Dave and that is a bonus for me. We went as cowboys and laughed when we got there because 2 out of every three people were dressed as a cowboy. Some people joked that they did not receive the 'cowboy memo'. For my U.S readers there was a woman dressed as Palin and she did such a good job, even with some of her actions. While the dinner goes on we also hand out candy to the kids who come to the door. I like the little ones between two and five years old, they are so wide eyed, not sure whether the desire for candy out weighs the desire to run! For a Friday evening there were not many children and my sister was a little disappointed. After the dinner and conversation, Dave and I went out dancing at a gay bar with some of the gay women who were at the party. I was asked for my ID!!! :) I said "are you kidding me" and Dave laughed and said to the woman at the door "he is turning *BLANK* tomorrow"! She looked at me again and said "okay you can go ahead, sorry it is just that your glasses hide all the wrinkles around your eyes" ouch.. b.. bb... bitch! Around one in the morning after we had shaken our little buns enough, we decided to leave and realized it was good that we came early, there was a line up around the block to get in. Plus Dave had plans for me on Saturday and said we needed to leave by 10:30 am. I have pictures of what we were up to but I just have not down loaded them yet, I'll post them tomorrow and talk about some of the stuff we did. Now I have to see what you people have been up to!