Heat wave? What happened?

 Oh the insanity of our weather. We had been roasting all last week, 35 Celsius or 95 Fahrenheit one day for example. Yesterday it cooled down, last night was freezing, no I don't mean freezing as in "I'm cold" I mean freezing as in frost on the roof, possibly ice in places. Crazy town if you are trying to grow a garden. Cold again tonight and then hopefully it will return to normal.

Sunday morning message.

Steve invents a sandwich.

 Last night I wanted something filling to eat but it was still hot so I didn't want a heavy meal. I got the idea of making a chicken sandwich, not just any chicken sandwich but something different from the usual.

 I wanted lots of flavor so I cut a chicken breast up into small slivers, I had a package of chicken gravy and slowly let the chicken simmer in that. While waiting I washed some spinach, I prefer baby spinach to lettuce. I chopped up some green onions and dropped them in about a minute before the chicken was finished cooking. I buttered a slice of bread and put mayonnaise on the other slice. I put the chicken and green onions on the bread, then the spinach, a little salt and pepper and ta-daaa! I poured myself a drink of ginger ale over ice and enjoyed my sandwich. Mmmmm it was so good, filling plus a warm meal, perfect comfort food. I'm definitely going to try that again, next time I'm going to try a different sauce to simmer the chicken in, maybe BBQ next time.

Butt Naked.

 Yesterday was hot, I mean hhhhhot. That old saying, "it's not the heat, it's the humidity" well in this case it was both. I was doing gardening stuff until afternoon. Then the sun was just too much. I came in, had a late lunch and decided to take a cool bath before the storms started again.

 When I got out, I wasn't in any hurry to redress and I ran around doing inside chores for awhile when I suddenly realized that I was still in my bare bottom. Normally that would never happen, I never liked being nude, I always felt uncomfortable. The last couple of years that started to slowly change for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm still modest, I would never put myself in a situation where someone could accidentally see me.

 Last year when I made friends with a bunch of nudist, it turned out to be a really good experience for me. Not only did I get in some social skills practicing meeting people, I also learned to be comfortable with myself. I discovered that I was so worried about how I looked, that I didn't notice most other men look just like me... well with the exception of the guys with gi-normous penises. My view of being nude changed for me after that. Unfortunately that whole social scene is completely out the door now.

 As evening came I just put a towel down on my favorite chair and watched tv in the buff. I was amazed by how normal it felt to me now. I went to bed and had a great sleep, unusual for me because I usually have to wear something while sleeping. I feel vulnerable at night and I guess my brain thinks a t-shirt and shorts are going to protect me from a burglar. Well at least I'm covered if I have to run out in the night. I realize now that I'm probably the only one left that wears something to bed. All my male friends, gay or straight tell me they sleep in the nude, they say that they can't sleep any other way. I'm going to try again tonight, it felt freeing.

 One thing I often worry about during these times, is the bad habit I have of constantly touching my face when I'm mindlessly doing something, like reading or watching tv. I say to my friends that it's a good thing I'm not living in the city. I noticed last night however that it wasn't my face I kept mindlessly touching. Hey well maybe it's something that would be beneficial for men to try... watching tv in the nude, every man reading this knows exactly what I'm talking about.

Global warming, shmobal borming.

 What global warming? Look, fake news, hype, conspiracy, new world order! Okay just because it was snowing two weeks ago and then went straight into a solid week of being in the high twenties Celsius (80s Fahrenheit) and now we are entering into a solid week of 30s Celsius (90s Fahrenheit) doesn't mean it's climate change. I mean we often have boiling temperatures with extreme heat warnings before the leaves are out on the trees. Umm, actually no we don't.

 This spring I kept texting my friends that I was worried about extreme weather this summer. March was unusually beautiful, normally that is when I have to clear snow from the yards the most. This year I think I only had to plow snow about four times in all of the month of March, the beginning of April was also unusually pleasant. The end was cold but only because the jet stream came down for a week. I worry because we have extremely high humidity in spring and summer, now with extreme heat and extreme humidity we are quickly becoming a mini tornado ally, I already hate storms, in 2013 we had a tornado, it came close to the buildings, I will never forget the feeling of helpless fear as it approached, I will also never forget the sound. I know it's going to come back for revenge, it certainly did not help with my storm anxiety.

 I kept saying the summer would be hot and that worried me. I don't argue with people, climate change is real, actually I jump down their throats, I can't stand people insisting on ignoring facts. Here we are, it's the end of May, two weeks ago it was snowing and now we are hitting record temperatures... but the insane thing is these temperatures would normally only be seen around here at the end of July or beginning of August. I can remember hoping for a heat wave in summer like this when I was a child. Many summers we didn't reach that high of temperatures, ruining our ice cream and swimming days.

 The leaves are not even fully on the trees yet, it hasn't rained in almost two weeks. Instead of everything being a beautiful lush green for spring, the lawn is burned up already. I've never seen a brown lawn at the end of May, looks like crap, the only green are the weeds. We went from me not sowing a garden because the ground was too cold and damp, to frying the soil into dust, but hey... climate change is fake news because we had this exact situation in 19never. Unfortunately they say we have reached the tipping point, even if everyone stopped using any kind of energy, it would probably take about two hundred years for things to even begin to go back to normal.

 It's only May 26 and the humidity is already so high at nine in the morning, that I feel like I'm suffocating.

Steve's quote of the day.

Friend: Hey Steve, how's your day going so far?

Steve: Great actually, then my bug spray stopped working!

Darwin Awards.

 The Darwin Awards will be cancelled this year due to there being too many candidates. If you are not familiar with this award, it usually goes to the person who removed themselves from the gene pool by getting themselves killed while doing something completely stupid. Example: two guys went to a zoo drunk and thought it would be funny to show off in front of their friends, they climbed into the tiger pit and tried to pet the eight hundred pound tigers. Needless to say it didn't end well.

 This weekend was another example of mass stupid and Canadian hypocrisy. We Canadians are usually a nice bunch but we secretly are also a little condescending. We see on the news the people down south crowding onto the beaches and think, "oh those hillbilly Americans, so backward and ignorant". Well this weekend was beautiful here for the most part, we are actually having Canadian July weather instead of May weather. What did Canadians do, especially down in Toronto. They crowded onto beaches and in parks by the thousands. The pictures look like human versions of giant walrus herds packed on the beach sunning themselves. Covid would like to thank those people, it was becoming extinct, they single handedly helped revive the virus population, expect a second shutdown soon.

 It was heartbreaking to watch a young doctor on the news last night who works in a covid ward. Viewers could see he was trying to hold back tears. He has been working none stop and hasn't been able to spend time with his young family. He took it very personally that people either don't know or care how hard he is working to save people. He said that he would have preferred to spend the weekend with his wife and kids, just like the people enjoying themselves on Saturday. I guess he is stressed thinking about the next wave that will start coming in about a week from now.

 I hate the way we get punished for stupid people. How because of some idiot, we can't buy a certain product or we have to line up like daycare children. This week is a perfect example, the health departments are saying not to wear gloves. That gloves don't protect you and may actually make things worse. No... that's completely wrong, gloves protect you perfectly, not using gloves properly is harmful. I use latex and rubber gloves at work all the time, I know how to properly use them. I put on a fresh pair, go in, shop for groceries, come out, take them off in a careful manner the way I was trained, drop them into a garbage container and go on my way. This way if I touch any virus, I leave it behind in the trash can.

 Enter the stupid people, they see gloves and want to wear them as well. However they don't understand the why. Instead of creating a barrier, they think gloves have some magic powers, that the virus will not be able to survive the gloves. Mr or Mrs Idiot will put on the magic gloves, go shopping, come back to the car, touch the door handles, get in the car, touch the steering wheel, filling the car with virus, pull off their mask, feel that it's safe to touch their face, rub their eyes with the magic gloves, not realizing that the gloves are covered in virus. Hence gloves are bad when actually stupid people are bad.

 I was really pissed about the gloves issue this week because of what happened when I went to a pharmacy. I put on a fresh pair of gloves, as I walked in a man was sitting there and told me I had to wash my hands. I said that I had just put on new gloves, he said angrily, either wash your hands or get out, you are not allowed in unless you wash your hands. I took my perfectly sterile gloves off and went to wash my hands. It was a temporary sink set up for covid. Instead of a foot pedal or motion detection system, it had the two taps like from the seventies. I had to touch the taps that everyone else used contaminating my clean hands. I used the cheap foamy soap. Then I had to turn off the dirty taps with my clean hands. Waving my wet hands to dry them off flicking germs everywhere. As I went to walk away, he leaned over to a dirty looking box and turned a crank and a half wet paper towel came out. I felt contaminated in the store and as I was leaving I saw a hand sanitizer station, I went over to it and pressed the button... empty!

 Now I had to enter my car with potential dirty hands. Fortunately I keep a bleach soaked towel in there for emergencies like this. I was put in harm's way because of stupid people who don't understand and don't want to understand what is happening around them. Yes, so thank you stupid people, you make life a little worse for the rest of us each day. Actually just my secret tip for the brain numb, I heard that you can prevent yourself from getting covid by petting a tiger.
              [Insert evil laughter here]

Friday loop.

 I keep blogging that it seems we just have a Friday and then it's Friday again already. No? You want to disagree with me.. well what day is it today? Huh? Huh? Oh my Doug, see! See! What did I tell you! Friday-Monday, Friday-Monday, cue the twilight zone music...do dee, do dee, do dee, do dee!

 Maybe none of this is real. Maybe Elon Musk is right when he said we are probably all just characters in an intelligent race's computer simulation game, "now let's add in a plague to see what happens". I guess somewhere an alien is saying, "oh wow look Zortack, even with modern technology and knowledge, the humans are still behaving the same way they did one to two hundred years ago"!

 Anyway, Friday again... or is it? I'm looking at you... Zortack!

How does your garden grow? Not!

 This has been an unusual spring here on the farm, the end of March was nice for the month of March. April was awesome until about the third week in, then it turned cold, windy and rainy. Even the beginning of May was cold with some snow. The weather has finally changed and this week is warm and sunny.

 Last night I was able to sleep with my upstairs windows open, aaaah fresh air, so nice plus the gentle sound of frogs in the distance. Spring has finally sprung. People have been asking me if I am going to be sowing a garden this year. I planned to because even if I'm able to sell the farm, it's no big deal to leave it. I would feel bad if I didn't have a garden and couldn't sell. Now however it almost seems urgent to sow one, I keep hearing about food shortages and climbing grocery bills. Plus having to go to the store less often is a huge bonus, maybe even life saving to be honest.

 Today I'm going to try planting a few things, unfortunately there is a shortage of seeds, many people heard seeds were selling out and panic bought seeds, even though they have no idea about gardening. Seeds around here are like toilet paper, somewhere there is a frumpy woman named Karen with a closet full of seeds that she is hoarding. Thanks a lot Karen!

 My house spinach is coming along nicely, I'm going to try planting some outside to see what happens. Others I'm going to keep growing in the house to eat. I prefer spinach to lettuce. 

Below is the spinach five days after I sowed it, that's interesting to me because outside it takes about two weeks before it appears.

 Now nine days later and they are coming along nicely, however the plants are getting too big for their pots so I have to do something with them today.

 I also have potatoes to sow, I always have potatoes left over from the previous year and I find they do better than anything I buy. I need carrots and onions, I'm going to really miss those if I can't get any.  Also tomato plants and maybe green peppers.

 Unfortunately with the warm weather comes the hoards of blackflies. For those who don't know what that is, they are tiny flies about the size of an apple seed, they bite you for your blood and they form a black cloud around your head and attack. Not as annoying as mosquitoes but the numbers can be overwhelming. Fortunately they will only be around for three weeks or so and then usually die off. The trouble is they come when our outside work begins. Yesterday I inhaled one, that's almost a given, every year I inhale two or three, lucky for us they don't taste that bad.

Why Hate?

 Today was a beautiful day out and I was trying to get a lot of my outside work completed... or is that started, I completely forgot about posting.

 We tend to think of bigotry against the LGBTQ community as something in developing countries but unfortunately there has been a rise in hate in western nations including Canada as well. Fortunately there are also a lot of people who are on our side now, it's not like before.

 I don't understand why someone would put the energy into hating us but I'm past wondering now, I don't have time to worry about what they think. I will just use my time to support people who support me.

Enter Mr X.

 I guess I should start filling in the blanks regarding Mr X, soon it will have been three months. Unfortunately life went crazy and I missed blogging about meeting him. Basically it was the way people kept telling me a relationship would happen. The moment I wasn't even thinking about finding someone, was the moment I met someone.

 February 24, the weather had been perfect. I had decided to try bowling with an all gay group. I was more worried about looking stupid as I never bowled before than thinking about finding someone. I wanted to socialize with other gay men, maybe someone had a single friend.

 Slightly nervous I went in, I was a little early and there were only two guys so far. My gaydar worked for once and I asked if they were with the LGBTQ group. One guy was around my age, I found him friendly and cute as well, the other man was much older but still very handsome. The younger man told me to play on his team and soon a group of guys showed up.

  I had a great time, I did really well that night for a first try. They were a really relaxed down to earth group. Nice guys, there were no innuendo or sexual jokes. Sometimes that gets annoying in the wrong setting. I was really getting along with a couple of guys my age, I was picturing them as teenagers and thinking how it would have been nice to know each other when we were in high school. Life would have been so much better with the support of friends. The first guy I met, had a very expressive face, he would make all these cute expressions every time he did well or struck out. He was making me laugh and very calmly giving me advice on how to bowl. I definitely wanted to become friends with him and another guy with blue, blue eyes, both men I found very attractive. We seemed to hit it off, they asked me to join them after for coffee and treats at a bakery up the street. I found that sweet because when they first asked me if I wanted to go out with them after... I assumed a bar, my own stereotypes coming into play.

 I was trying to figure out where everyone fit in the group, regarding couples or single men. Mr blue eyes said he had a husband, a few of the other guys did as well. The first guy I had met, was telling blue eyes that he was ready to date again, that he had been single for over a year. Later when we arrived at the bakery, this guy seemed to linger for a second, as if waiting to choose his seat so as to be sitting next to me. He was really easy to talk to.

 I have to take a moment and pat myself on the back. Most of the guys were impressed that I would just show up alone and start making friends, honestly I didn't have a choice, either I do it alone or probably never. However instead of the wall flower that I usually am, I was very outgoing that night, I kept wonder where the heck this was coming from. After a while, I suddenly noticed that the guy who waited to sit down beside me, was really nervous talking to me, he kept apologizing for talking so much and so fast. I thought hmmm... message received.. game on! I became slightly aroused, yes he would become my Mr X.

 After when it was time to go, as luck would have it, the two of us had parked our cars far from the others so we had to walk together. We were having a good chat and when we reached our cars we kept on talking and talking, neither of us wanted to go. I was scrambling inside, what do I do, how do I move this forward, story of my life I'm letting this moment slip away. Then no lie... I wondered what you guys would tell me to do. In my head I heard, "you could ask him for his number".

 Trying to sound like Mr Smooth guy I said, "I'm not trying to hit on you or anything but why don't I get your number and we could hang out, maybe meet up for drinks or a coffee sometime". Like teenagers we pulled out our phones and dialed each other. I said that I had to get going. I went to shake his hand and said it was nice meeting him. He laughed and said it was okay to hug him, as I was letting him go, I said,"plus you're so frigging good looking"... that really caught him off guard. He joked that it's not fair to say that and leave, slightly embarrassed he thanked me.

 Later on he often told me that he loved the "I'm not hitting on you" remark, (I totally was lol) and the "you're frigging good looking" remark because it's nice to get a compliment but also because he realized then that I liked him as well.

 There you have it folks, the night that I met Mr X. I'm going to try to fill in a few more details, mostly for my own memories. It was a beautiful winter evening, a perfect setting. Almost a scene out of a gay Hallmark movie, lol but you know that's exactly the type of first meeting I wanted.

The sun will shine again.

  I will admit that the days were wearing me down. I was in the unfortunate situation of basically being a fugitive since the farm is technically not my main resistance. Therefore I was not allowed to leave my yard, I could have received a thousand dollar fine or worse, have been expelled from the farm. The government in this province was really over reaching. My food supplies were the lowest they have ever been, I'm hungry all the time, I think of food all the time, I think because I can't just go and get what I need any longer and it has affected my thinking, my nerves were being rubbed raw.

 Also because I was separated from my boyfriend, how cruel that has been for me. I have been lonely as heck, after nine years I finally found someone to hold me, hug me and snuggle with. People need the loving touch of another person, to finally get that and suddenly have it cut off was almost devastating to be honest. I couldn't see an end to this, I started to feel hopeless, every day felt like a cloudy rainy day.

 However the sun eventually comes out, hope steps back into view. It was just announced that the restrictions will be lifted on Monday, the barricades will come down, the roads will open up again. People are still expected to social distance, many stores will remain closed, it's not a free for all, it's just a relaxing of the police state rules, we can feel like citizens again and not like criminals, especially since almost everyone was obeying the rules required of them.

 I can buy food again, I never dreamed the day would come in Canada where I was prevented from buying food. However food wasn't the first thing on my mind, my eyes went a little misty as I called Mr X... to tell him the news that I'm going to get to see him again soon. I could really use a hug about now.

Is there a (cute) doctor in the house?

 I'm not feeling well today, a little under the weather to be honest. I mean don't worry I don't think it's covid but I decided to seek information on line about what could possibly be wrong just to be on the safe side.

 Let's see, question number one,

1) Have you traveled outside the country recently?
NO.

2) Do you have a constant fever?
NO.

3) Do you have a dry cough or feeling of tightness in your chest?
NO.

4) Have you been recently exposed to anyone with covid or anyone that has been with a covid patient.
NO.

5) Have you recently eaten three dozen peanut butter cookies that you made the previous evening?
Umm, errr, uh... yes.

 Upon reviewing this information, we have come to a conclusion regarding the cause of your problem. The solution is to "grow the bleep up"!

 I'm enjoying a tea as I type this, feeling so much better now. I still have no idea what made me feel sick... and I'm sticking to that story.

Meaningless Monday.

 Monday again? I lose track of the days, it seems like a treadmill of Fridays and Mondays, there is little difference between the days for me now. The people lucky enough to have a job and are working from home, sometimes annoy me with the question, "so what are you doing on the weekend"? What's a weekend? There are just endless days now, I'm "doing" nothing this weekend, like I did last weekend and the one before that etc, etc. I do have big plans for next weekend however... a bunch of us are.. no just joking, I will be staying at home as usual.

 The earth moved for me Saturday, yes we had an earthquake. Just a little itty bitty one, it seemed to last a little longer than usual. Such a weird feeling, we usually don't get harmful earthquakes but every twenty years or so we get a strong one. It gives a person that helpless feeling of being at the mercy of nature, all you can do is hope it won't be bad. I knew the epicenter would be north of my place because I was talking to a friend on the phone at the time, he is about thirty minutes north of me and felt it first. He was saying that we're having an earthquake but I wasn't feeling a thing, then suddenly I could hear and feel it.

 Yesterday I received the funniest picture, not funny haha on purpose funny. More like "why did you send me that picture funny". My neighbor text me, warning me to be careful while out walking, she came upon a pile of huge bear scat. She snapped a picture of it and sent it to me. I thanked her for the poop pic but I assured her that I would have believed her, no poop pic necessary. I think it was more about the size it to be fair.

 Speaking of the earth moving under foot, I had another startling reminder that I'm not in my thirties anymore. Yesterday was the sixtieth birthday of U2 lead singer Bono. That was attention grabbing, I remember being a teenager and listening to this new band, very few people knew who they were. Most people didn't know where to place them, they weren't pop and they weren't heavy rock. I couldn't understand why people had to try and fit them into a box, why not just enjoy the music if you like it.

 Bono apparently put together a list of sixty songs that he said saved his life. I'm not sure what that means, a little bit of a dramatic statement if you ask me. He wrote a letter  for each song picked explaining his choice, the songs he chose surprised me to be honest, most were not what I thought he would have chosen. The other thing that made me feel a touch of my age, looking at pictures of Bono, he's no longer a cool looking icon from my past, now he's an eccentric looking old dude.

 Monday again, again, again. What will this week bring *sigh * lately I find that I am bracing myself for the coming disaster instead of seeing it as a beginning.

Mom. A day to pause.

 Every now and then a song comes on the radio and it instantly makes me think of mom. It's called Somebody's daughter, a song about a homeless woman and the singer is reminding us that the woman is someone's daughter, sister or was someone's best friend once. That's one of the  many life lessons mom left me with, to treat homeless people with respect, to never make fun of less fortunate people because we don't know their story.

 Today is mother's day, unfortunately I am not able to see mom. Actually.. it's okay because she wouldn't grasp the meaning of the day and it only makes me feel lonely to be honest. However I can reflect back over the years and think about the solid wall behind me called "mom".

 I realize now how lucky I was, of course mom wasn't perfect, she was human and made mistakes like every person does. I just took it for granted that all mothers were devoted like her and like my grandmothers. My eyes were really opened when I moved to the city. Many of my friends were partly messed up because of having a parent that was a complete failure. I can't imagine having to go through life worrying that the person you should be trusting the most, is actually trying to take advantage of you or is indifferent to how you are doing in life.

 Lucky me, I won the mom lottery, when it came to her children, she was a lioness, there was no mistake about that. I'm very proud of my mother, she was a very decent person, very strong willed, intelligent and very independent. This is the reason I find it so hard to see her like she is now with dementia. I credit mom and also my sister for my positive view of women. I have always thought of women as equal to men, I was actually surprised when I started to learn some men think of women as being second class to men. I know some men would say there are women who are not as independent as mom was... but I can also show you plenty of men that need a guiding hand and many times that guiding hand is a caring woman.

 Everything I do to this day, I hear her voice either in approval, disapproval or a warning. I have always understood that no matter how strict she could be, it was for my own good. I also learned early on that not much could get past her, one of her beliefs in life was that we understood about making the right decisions when she wasn't around as much as when she was around.

 Maybe I can't be with mom today for her own safety, "thinking of others" another life lesson by mom, at least I can use mother's day to pause and thank my lucky stars I had someone like her in my corner.

 If you're a mom reading this, I hope you have a happy mother's day.

So.. 2020, how's that work'n for ya?

 One of my pet peeves is when people put blame on a month or year for everything that's gone wrong. Then they will say nonsensical things like, "I can't wait for this year to end". As if a moment in time is to blame for anything, as if changing the page on a calendar will help. I hate those statements and the older I get, the dumber they sound to me. Every day passed is time we can't get back ...and is one day closer to our end, my end. In defense of 2019, let's review 2020 so far.

January:
1) Australia catches on fire and burns out of control for weeks.
2) Trump assassinates an Iranian military thug and takes us to the brink of war.
3) Iran shoots down civilian jet killing all passengers.
4) All Western world leaders are warned by their intelligence agencies that a pandemic is about to start and they all chose to ignore the warning.
5) NASA worries about a large asteroid coming too close to earth.
6) The usual mass shootings, earthquakes and floods happen.

February:
1) Trump is impeached but gets off with the charges against him.
2) People are starting to die from a new virus.
3) Another asteroid plus all the other usual stuff.

March:
1) The world as we know it begins to end.
2) Society begins to think about going into lockdown mode.
3) Another asteroid too close and more natural disasters.

April:
1) COVID-19 reveals itself, it also demonstrates that it's definitely not another flu.
2) Society is shut down, everyone is talking about social distancing.
3) People begin to die by the thousands.
4)The economy crashes, millions are out of work.
5) Canada has its worst mass  shooting in history.

May:
1) Everything is affected by covid-19, every aspect of people's lives is ruined in some way by C19 causing an increase in domestic violence and mental health issues.
2) Food shortages in the near future are announced due to the pandemic.
3) Murder Hornets are invading north America, poisonous to humans and could cause crop failure by killing off the remaining bees.

August:
1) Biden dies possibly of covid complications.
2) Entire free world screams "oh shit"!

November:
1) Trump wins second tern, claiming it had nothing to do with election confusion and everything to do with the great job he has done.
2) Woman arrested for assassination attempt on president with bare hands, charged is Anne Marie of 123 street...

 There... still hating on 2019??? Any of you who wanted 2020 and said you couldn't wait for it to get here... so how is that working out for you?

 I'm being a bit silly above, on a serious note, time is precious, don't wish it away, we can't get it back. There were perfectly healthy people that died today because they happen to have caught a bug, it's a reverse lottery out there with the randomness of this disease, if you win, you lose.

A slice of life. Bread & Flowers.

 A little slice of heaven? Yesterday a very thoughtful neighbour stopped in for a social distancing visit. He brought a loaf of bread with him to give to me. I haven't seen bread since March. I have never enjoyed a slice of bread so much or appreciated eating one as I did last night.

 See! I'm not making this up, it's actual real life slices of bread! First I just enjoyed a slice with butter, I wanted to savor the moment. Then I had two slices with peanut butter and jam, mmmm so good. I had some for breakfast too. I think this is probably something that will stick with me for life. I imagine going forward, every time I buy a loaf of bread, I will think about the time I was basically under house arrest because other people were too stupid to follow simple directions.

 Moving on to spring, although ironically the weather is calling for snow tonight and tomorrow. The temperature is supposed to suddenly drop because the polar vortex is coming back for a visit... oh yay, like that relative who always shows up unannounced and not welcomed.

 Yesterday I did cuttings of my grandmother's Coleus flowers. I'm the last one of the family who is keeping the tradition going. Everyone else is either too elderly now or moved to an apartment.

 There was almost a mass extinction of the Coleus in 2019, my sister lost all of hers to a fungus. Last spring 80% of my cuttings rotted just before I put them outside. The ones I planted did not do so well for a long time and finally rebounded by fall. However when I brought some in for this year, the rot came back with a vengeance. By Christmas I only had two little stems left about the size of my baby finger, less actually and with only a couple of leaves on each stem. I put my magic green thumb to work and I managed to save them. They grew enough to make all these cuttings.

 The cuttings save on me having to buy a lot of flowers, plus there is that connection to my maternal grandmother (who I still miss), this is what they look like by mid summer.

 Being the king of procrastination, I also did something yesterday that I should have done long ago, I sowed spinach seeds indoors. I have been thinking about doing this for five weeks now. If I had of gone ahead like I wanted, I probably would have been eating spinach leaves by now. Anyway our growing season doesn't start until June so I will have little plants ready by then, hopefully!

 Okay! Come on little guys grow! It's been 24 hours already, I'm not seeing anything! I'm going impatient! Lol

Learning to eat again.

 Another "spring cleaning" post from the draft bin. Something I started last week but I felt it was boring and had no direction. I added in some sentences so I'm just going to post instead of deleting it.

 How are your eating habits these days? Everyone is worried about gaining weight from sitting inside and eating more. Have you changed in how you look at food now? I keep reading online and seeing news clips about how everyone is trying to bake and make fancy dishes. Even to the point where stores are running out of flour, eggs and butter. I think I gained ten pounds just reading mistress Maddie's blog today with all the pictures of what he baked!

 My thoughts regarding food haven't changed that much nutrition wise but availability wise I see my every nightmare nearly come true. I have always been aware that it's not as easy to keep the stores stocked as most people assume. Just a heads up, meat is about to become really expensive, not because there is a shortage of animals on the farm... but because the packing plants require the workers to be crowded in together and the virus thrives on that type of environment to spread. Causing the plants to shut down, creating a shortage of meat in the stores. Also fruits and vegetables will become really expensive. Here in Canada the large farms just don't have the employees because of the virus, many are not going to have the time or money to grow produce with our short season. There will be a shortage in the fall, prices will rise.

 I have also gained a whole new respect for food given the travel restrictions put on us by the provincial government. I have also gained a new outlook on freedoms as well. I think of food all the time, I'm stressed out about running out of food all the time now. I have really become creative with my meals. At first I was trying to eat really healthy but now I just make sure I eat something.

 Yesterday I left eating dinner later than usual so I didn't want to eat anything too heavy. Looking in my cupboard I decided on a can of chicken noodle soup. It's too bland however so I figured I better punch it up. I put in a few spices and broccoli to add flavor, then I let it simmer. I may have added in a little onion, I don't remember but I was intending to add some. Once it had simmered for a few minutes then it was ready, yum, it tastes almost like homemade soup, it had flavor. I often do this but I find now, it really helps me in how I prepare meals.

 Remember in times of crisis, homemade chocolate chip cookies are good for you!

As a gay man...

 As a gay man... (why does that still sound odd to me) anyway as a gay man I feel it's my duty to post a video of a song that I can't get enough of lately. It's a video by Boy George, to be honest I was not a fan back in the day, I wasn't into his music but I thought he was clever and funny. As a closeted gay kid it was important to me however that he succeed. I remember feeling really sad when I heard he became a drug addict and seemed to be washed up. I was not aware that he had made an off radio comeback until Sixpence posted about him. I love this song, BG looks good here (great actually), most of all I like his voice now, very sexy, grrrr! Thanks to Sixpence I can add another video to my must see/listen to collection. I must support my homies... (or is that homo homies) ummm, maybe I better say LGBTQ members, yeah sounds better. Any way this is King of Everything by Boy George.

Late night viewing.

 Lately I have trouble falling asleep, it's no surprise to me, I guess a worldwide pandemic can do that to a person. Last night I watched a repeat of Saturday Night Live, it was shall we say... one of its weaker nights. The thing that kept me watching was Daniel Craig was guest host. I must say he is one fine man to drool look at. Age has not affected him at all. There was one odd thing about him, his normal speaking voice caught me off guard. I assumed I would be treated to the smooth .OO7 voice; however he definitely doesn't sound suave, the voice didn't fit the man we know, it felt like he was playing a trick on us, like when that mountain of a Mike Tyson speaks and we all think "what the".

 Speaking of night viewing, I sometimes end up watching the late night talk shows. They are similar but each has their own style as well. I decided to rate the shows according to my enjoyment level. This is just my opinion, see if you agree or disagree.

1) My hands down favorite number one talk show at night is The Late Late Show with James Cordon. He just seems to be a sweet guy, is funny, full of energy but not to the point of being annoying, plus a really talented singer. His show is mostly an entertainment show, I love his carpool karaoke, who doesn't dream of being able to sing and also get to sing along with famous performers. Plus I recently discovered that James is paying his staff out of his own pocket now that the studio is closed due to covid, decent guy!

2) My pick for number two is Trevor Noah of the Daily show. I think he's funny with more of a political spin to his show. He has some really funny coworkers on his show as well, especially Ronny Chieng, that guy is hilarious. They interview guests and create a lot of funny skits. I also read that Trevor Noah is paying his staff out of pocket while the studio is shut down, another decent guy.

3) For number three I'm going to pick Stephen Colbert of The Late Show. I guess it says something about your brand when I type in "Stephen" and auto correct inserts "Colbert". I will be honest and say up front that sometimes I find he can get stuck on a rant to the point of being boring and no longer funny, also his skits can be like SNL skits, not that funny and drag on a bit too long. His show is a mix of skits, political interviews and interviews with entertainers. He seems knowledgeable and likeable so I do enjoy his show. I also have to give him extra credit right now at this moment. All the above mentioned hosts are working from home and I find that Stephen Colbert is doing a much better job than Trevor Noah. I find Trevor not that funny without help, even annoying at times, while Stephen is making me actually laugh out loud with his monologues and discussions. I think this is a little like musicians unplugged, where you discover your favorite band is not that good live, while a band you thought was just okay, is really kicking it while live.

4) Next is Jimmy Kimmel, I don't get to see his show that often so it's hard for me to really judge him. When I do watch I always enjoy it and find him funny. I do get a condescending vibe off him at times, that is a bit of a put off. I like his street interviews where people will lie about knowing a subject, just to get on tv.

As for the rest, I have tried to watch Conan O'Brien, I just get an odd vibe from him. I don't find him funny, I never enjoy the show. I have also watched A Little Late with Lilly Singh a few times but sorry.. no. I just find her so loud and hyper, she becomes annoying fast. I just can't get used to her. I also don't find the show that interesting to be honest, she may appeal to a younger audience, maybe that's her targeted market but I'm not a fan. Same with Seth Myers, it's like a tax accountant landed a talk show. In fairness I have only had a chance to watch it a few times, maybe I caught it on slow nights. Again same with Jimmy Fallon, watching him makes me feel like he is filling in for the actual host of the show. He may be a great guy but I don't really enjoy his show.

 There you have it, my late night insomnia picks, as I said I am only judging them based on my personal enjoyment factor. On a serious note, now more than ever, I appreciate their comical entertainment, I think every little bit helps these days.

Dreaming about dreaming.

 This morning I frightened the daylights out of myself and woke up panicked. I have this bizarre habit of becoming aware that my body is asleep. I don't know anyone else with this capability but I have read about other people having the same experience. In case you are not clear of what I am saying, my mind wakes up and is aware that I am sleeping but my body is still asleep, so I'm trapped in my own body.

 I try to send signals to my body like "move your arm" something that will start to wake myself up. Usually I can eventually get my body to twitch but I can't snap out of it. Sometimes I try to worked myself up to see if the rush of emotions will wake me. The best option I find is to make a sound, I keep trying to say "HEY WAKE-UP" and eventually it will start to work, however what comes out is more like "muhh, muaaguh" than "hey wake up"

 This morning I had that sensation again, I hate it, I imagine it must be slightly similar to what paralyzed people feel, being trapped in your own body. While lying there, I suddenly got it into my head that the last thing I remember was driving home from work. I panicked because I thought if  my last memory is of me driving home... then I must have fallen asleep at the wheel while driving and I'm about to crash! My brain was screaming WAKEUP! WAKEUP! WAKEUP! I expected at any second to feel an impact! I hope this is not a new thing, some tortuous half awake, half nightmare dream that my mind is going to start throwing at me. I snapped awake in bed (thankfully), then I thought to myself "awww son of a b...h"!

Thoughts on food.

 May first already??? I feel we are being robbed of our spring! :(
If this was January or February first and they asked us to stay home, I would have been thinking, "meh okay"! However everything is pretty much ruined until a vaccine shows up.

 What are your thoughts on food? Here are some of mine.

1) I like porridge for breakfast, eventually I ran out of the instant porridge. I always have the regular kind on hand for baking and decided to try it. Wow, I like it so much better, I just add in some berries or a little maple syrup and it's delicious. I think I may eat this from now on instead of the instant packets.

2) I don't freeze bread, I find it hard to keep from getting that freezer burnt taste or smell. I never throw it out, I toss it into the fields and the birds love it. Many times however... I had the feeling there would come a day when it would be hard to get bread and I would regret not trying to save some. That day arrived, I miss it but I'm learning to live without it.

3) Speaking of freezing food. My friends were laughing at me last Christmas (4 months already) about how I bought a bunch of chocolates on sale and to stop myself from eating them, I threw them into my upright freezer. They are called "Turtles" and are some of my favorite chocolates, they are in little packages and they scattered down through all the food I had frozen in my freezer. Now when I take out chicken breasts or spaghetti sauce, I find a frozen treat... and sadly it makes me really really happy!

4) I'm getting into my frozen berries from last year, I froze them on cookie sheets for an hour, I sealed them in small bags and then sealed the small bags in larger bags. Now they taste and smell like the day I froze them. I also have a package to make dreamwhip. I made myself a treat yesterday, it was delicious!

 5) Speaking of treats, how many of you are trying out your baking skills?  Let's just say that I made more cookies last month than probably I have made in the last two years. Now I know what you are all thinking, "but don't you live on your own Steven"... umm, ahem, umm... yes... oink oink snort!