Remember when?

 Remember when you could buy a lot of candy with only a dollar? Remember when there were only a couple of TV channels and they shut down after midnight? Remember when everyone thought that being a Nazi was bad? How I miss the old days.  

Invisible.

  I remember years ago, one older blogger posting about feeling invisible in society because of his age, that people just didn't notice him anymore. It's clear to me that I am now entering that phase, I'm just that older guy at work, any get-togethers or events happening, myself and coworkers my age are often left off the invite list. I understand, younger people want to enjoy themselves without feeling like their parents are around. A fellow geezer overheard one coworker saying "just don't let any of the older people know". 

 I remember back when my dad was terminally ill, he was at home but he only had a few weeks left. It was June and I remember the rest of us talking about plans that were going to have to be done in September. I had this realization that Dad wasn't going to be there, he was listening to us making plans that didn't include him. It's like we were leaving him behind somehow.

 I have that sense more and more about myself now. I watch my younger coworkers, working towards career goals, starting relationships, starting families, it's an exciting time for them, they are writing the chapters in their book of life. I feel left out, left behind in a way, I feel that I'm wrapping up my pages, my big excitement is getting a good night's sleep, not having a sore back or finding my favorite shampoo on sale. My future plans include, what happens if I get dementia like mom, where will I live in a few years, will I still have my health, how long can I work before it becomes too difficult. 

My sister will turn 60 this year, it's shocking to me because I can remember when Dad turned 60, it feels like only 8 or 9 years ago and yet here we are. 

 There is a positive flip side to this and it's that I like hanging out with people my own age or a little older. I find that ironically, people my age get together more often than younger people. I guess we need to cram in all the fun before we end up in a home or kick the bucket. 🤷

Snowmageddon

 This was supposed to be a relaxing long weekend and I really needed one, however we just had Snowmageddon 2025 😱. It's so bad that we are trying to figure out where we can put the snow now as there is no more room anywhere.

 On a happy note, I was given chocolates for Valentine's Day, unfortunately with being stuck in the house I may have eaten all of them.  That's all I have to say. 🤷

What on Earth is happening?

 I started this blog nearly twenty years ago now, seems unbelievable to me that much time has passed. It was to help me gain courage to come out as a gay man. Society was starting to change, things were really looking up for mankind in general, sadly I never expected to write the following.

 I find myself wondering more and more each day with fear, if I'm watching the beginning of the collapse of the United States as we know it. Frightening thought but is this the end? Surly without the protection of a strong US, smaller Western nations will get swallowed up eventually.

 I feel at the rate things are going, it will be irreversible by the end of the year. It's like I'm stuck in a George Orwell novel, I'm watching it unfold around me, I know how things are going to end but there's nothing I can do and only a few others can see it as well. I don't understand how, very anti-American ideas, suddenly became patriotic ideas.

 It's also the first time as a Canadian, I feel threatened by the US instead of reassured by their presence. I feel we are on a fast track to becoming the Ukraine of North America, I feel that our country needs to quietly arm itself. I don't want to become Trumpland 2.0 or Musk North. 

And just like that, 2025!

I seriously am starting to understand the people who decorate in November for the holidays. At least it gives them time to enjoy their work. It feels like I just got everything up for the season and then last night I shut off the lights for another year. 

How is it possible that the Y2K panic was 25 years ago, it just seems unbelievable to me it was that long ago. Every baby boomer will now be at least 60 or older. After midnight January first, Generation X (my generation) began turning 60. It feels like I just made an error and meant to type 40 but unfortunately it's sixty. 

I made a decision a few years ago to say yes to any adventures no matter how small, adventures that I felt would appeal to me. My partner and I were invited to a New Year's Eve party so we said yes, it was mostly generation X and a couple of Boomers. We had a lot of fun, we just did it slower than we used to lol. We also felt that we might not make it to midnight but we all did. We toasted the new year and then everyone called an Uber to have us home in bed before one in the morning. It's what happens when Y2K was 25 years ago, when Home Alone came out 35 years ago, when 1980 was 45 years ago.

The 2024 review.

 Well here we are folks, 2024 is almost over. My review of the year, meh.. it was like any other year, some bad stuff happened and some good stuff happened, such is life. However, there was also that putting Trump back in power thing that the Americans pulled 🤦. 

 Happy Holidays to everyone over the next coming days and a Merry Christmas for those that celebrate Christmas. This year my Christmas is going to be like the island of misfit toys. My partner invited three people over who don't have family to celebrate with, so we're making a Christmas family for them, nothing worse than being alone when everyone else is enjoying themselves.

I don't come here that often and it's only because life takes me elsewhere but the ironic thing is that I often think of the wonderful people I met in the Blogosphere. Every time someone asks me about my coming out story, I love telling them about the hidden community that gave me the support to start my journey. ❤️

Tunnel Vision or Train?

 When I was in my early thirties, I was staying with an aunt and uncle. They were really kind to me and I became closer to them. I said one day that time seems to be passing faster and faster now that I'm in my thirties. My uncle who had entered his sixties at the time, laughed and said "just wait until you're my age, you won't believe how fast the years go by".  He said it's like being in a long tunnel, the light at the end doesn't seem to change in shape much until you are getting closer to the end, then it gets larger and larger really fast. 

That uncle passed away last week, he was a few weeks shy of 90. Even though I remember that conversation like it was only three years ago, here I am just a few years away from being the age he was at the time. I also have to say that I was sad but that I'm happy for him because he and my aunt lived a full and interesting life until the end.

When I started this blog, it was about coming out as gay, that was my major concern at the time. I can't believe the way things have changed since I started the blog, I never thought there would be things like an LGBTQ resource center at my work etc, etc. I remember a time where it was better not to say you were gay at work. However being gay is no longer what is on my mind.

Getting old.. that's all I ever think about. Even shocking to me is that this blog will turn twenty in a couple of years, how did this happen? So many many people are gone from my life now, I'm tired all the time, there have been so many changes and most are not good. I feel like I have just put myself in gear so that I just keep moving forward because we have no other choice. I totally see my uncle's point now, every day seems to be Friday or Monday morning, I feel like I should just leave up the Halloween and Christmas decorations because it's always time to put them up or take them down. This January the Y2K scare will be 25 years ago, Gen X will begin to turn 60 and I will be there in a couple more years. Sheesh 🙄 🤷.