Friday, December 13, 2019
Love reconnecting with my straight buddy.
Him: Are you in town Friday?
Me: Yes, I don't have to work but I will be in town. Why do you ask?
Him: I thought we could have lunch.
Me: Okay sounds good.
Him: What are you doing later in the day then?
Me: Errands, why?
Him: No reason, just nosey. Errands is code for you are doing something shameful and don't want to tell me!
Me: Wow! You really do speak Gay, I'm going to have to watch myself. Well if you want, you can come watch me get my nipples tattooed!
Him: I could ask Chris to join us for lunch.
Me: Sure, it would be great to see him again! Plus you said we should do a three-way sometime.
Him: You and your fantasies again. We could meet at M's pub it's a good place for lunch.
Me: Oooh no, I've been banned from there! Oops sorry three-way lunch, darn auto correct!
Him: Banned, for doing what?
Me: Errands... I was doing Errands... he used to be a waiter there!
Him: The dude with short dark hair?
Me: I think we better cut back on the jokes around Chris, I don't want to shock the poor guy.
Him: Yeah you're right, you should see how uncomfortable he gets when I make fun of gay people!
Me: So... sounds like I'm going to like him a lot better than you?
Tomorrow I will see another school friend, he is the guy I let find out second hand that I'm gay. Then after I regretted not telling him myself. I just saw his picture and it was a relief that he looks the same... well except for grey hair and a little heavier, like the rest of us lol. I'm excited to see him again.
Just had the lunch, holy cow did the three of us ever laugh over old times. Chris has become a really sweet kind hearted guy. I always liked him and life has turned out well for him. There was an "oh wow" moment when he said that his daughter is 26, married and just had her second child. I could be a grandpa now if I married young... well also if I was straight.
Thursday, December 12, 2019
I don't listen very much to pop music, it's not my thing. If I have no choice but to listen to a pop station while driving, I find for every song I like, there are about twenty five that I can't stand. Lately I kept hearing a rather pretty song, a sad song about lost love, anyone who has been through a heartbreaking relationship, will feel the words. Finally I had to google the song and... oh no... no no it can't be... it's a Selena Gomez song.
I used to think she was riding our good Canadian boy Justin Bieber's coattails to fame. Now that he looks like he needs a bath and attitude adjustment, I'm no longer team Justin, I'm team Selena, for reals as we kids say. She is turning out to be a beautiful, mature professional young woman. Justin has become a joke... like Lindsay Lohan or Kanye West. Anyway sorry but this is stuck in my head now. It really is pretty.
Well so we have already settled in for a long winter... umm probably back in November actually... but to be honest, it feels like winter came back in July.
Anyway, a nice break from winter.
Wednesday, December 11, 2019
This morning's thoughts by Steven, "cold cold freezing cold *¡#ing winter cold cookies cold. Well not totally... something else has been taking over my thought treadmill. The following questions are starting to show up, "what does this mean"? "Is there something here"? "Is this just wishful thinking"? I'm trying to seem relaxed and cooool about the sudden attention I have been receiving from a certain man. Yesterday all was quiet, I felt he probably regained his senses and was maybe even a little embarrassed by his sudden interest to me. I imagined us over the next few weeks, speaking to each other again at some party, maybe with him... grinning sheepishly at me, we would pretend nothing happened and move on. He was married, his life is a little complicated at times, so he probably would feel it's better not to start something.
This morning when I went to check for emails and texts, I thought to myself, "if I'm wrong, if he is interested, if there is actually something to this, then he won't be able to help himself, he will need to email me. When I turned on my phone... there were both an email and message from him. I felt a little "whoa" in my stomach. The messages were cute actually, along the lines of, "it's going to be awhile before we can see each other because not a lot of group activities during the holidays". Meaning, is it okay to get together somehow, well I guess I better work on that. Hmmm, that reminds me, I missed Monday night's gay bowling!
I'm taking this slow, I will see how we connect or don't connect. I make sure to always answer him in a positive tone, a friendly tone, this way I'm hoping he feels comfortable to reveal what is on his mind without fear of rejection. Meanwhile I'm enjoying the attention, like I said, it just feels really nice.
Tuesday, December 10, 2019
As I get older... and older, one of the things that almost hurts, is when I hear about some entertainer from my teenage years dying. It's like part of my youth dies, and I guess it does. It also jolts me when I think, "how long ago was that"?
Rest in peace Marie Fredriksson, female voice of Roxette.
Monday, December 9, 2019
Well... this is getting interesting! I forgot to mention that the man who sent me the nice message, was someone that I had met on line last year. I forgot to mention it because I forgot all about that. I had been trying to get this guy's attention but was having no luck, we had emailed back and forth but he didn't seem that interested in me and eventually I let it drop. I remembered that we had sent online messages but I couldn't remember if we emailed.
Fast forward to this fall and we figured out who each of us was. Even if I wanted to email him, I wouldn't know where to look. I responded yesterday on the mutual site we belong to. This evening I received an email that wasn't familiar to me. I could read the first few lines and realized who it was, it's my new friend. Wow, that really impressed me, that means he took the time to find my email from a year ago and to send another message, it means he was worried I wouldn't see the first message or maybe not take that message seriously, it means he was thinking about me yesterday and today. He is bisexual, he was married with kids (adults now), he still is similar to a straight guy in his thinking, so it feels pretty good for me tonight because when a straight-ish man is interested in you, it can seem cute and clumsy all at the same time.. but you know it. I'm not going to over think this, maybe nothing will come of this but it makes you feel like a kid again in a cool way... because that awkward kid in high school just got a note from an older boy and he's enjoying this.
I'm awake early, I'm not supposed to be up yet but my body is saying get up. That's a strange thing that often happens when I am over tired, instead of sleeping like a baby, I'm awake early. This will give me time to google parts for my dryer, the belt broke so I have no way to dry my clothes, grrrr! It's supposed to rain for the next two days, I guess that will wash away early Christmas spirit. I am just not feeling Christmas, it's not that I'm depressed or "bah humbug" hate Christmas, no it's nothing like that, honestly I can't believe that the calendar has swung around to that time of year again! I just don't believe that it's in two weeks!
Yesterday I received a little note online from someone who was at the party Saturday but had to leave early. I was actually a little sad that he had to leave, I like talking to him and hope to become friends with him. I was a little surprised by the note, we have been getting along and I do like this man but I didn't perceive anything out of the ordinary from him. Well... okay I have to confess... I have had sex with this guy about two weeks ago but that doesn't always mean anything in gay culture, (oddly enough). The note said that while he was around me at the party, he wanted to hold me, kiss me, cuddle me but he didn't know if that would be okay. I had to read it twice, yup it says what I think it says. That makes a person feel good inside, to be desired by someone, to be noticed by someone.
I sent the man a message back thanking him. Then I explained to him that I am a very properly raised alter boy and that it's never okay for him to try and make a move on me. I also explained that he needs permission to touch me from all my blog friends first! Well... that's not exactly what I said. I told him that I find him attractive, that I feel a chemistry between us and I said going forward... it's perfectly okay for him to try and cuddle me. :D