Saturday, June 23, 2018

Lonely wittle chicken. :(

 I let a number of my hens hatch chicks this year and for the most part, it has gone smoothly. The other day I noticed some little faces peeking out from under mom, usually they like to sleep for a day or so, I just leave them alone until everyone has hatched. If you look closely, you can see one little guy coming out just below mom's beak.

 By the next afternoon I checked and all the eggs seemed to have hatched plus everyone was hungry and thirsty. As I was moving the little family to a pen where they could eat and drink, I noticed one egg didn't hatch, that's common but when I picked it up, I realized it was hatching. It was important to get the others to eat and drink as soon as possible so the only thing I could do was put it in my incubator and I would slip him back in during the night. About thirty minutes after I put the egg in, POP... out came a little chicken. I felt sorry for it, too little and wet to go with the rest, I would have to wait until later that night.

Poor little guy, alone, scared and looking for mom, it really cried all day, then I suddenly felt really sick to my stomach because here I was feeling empathy for a chick and its distress, while I couldn't imagine the distress of the toddlers I had watched crying the night before on the news. Watching their parents being dragged off by people in uniforms, left there to wander and sob throughout the yards. The feeling of abandonment must have been overwhelming for those little minds, I can't believe the United States has become this. Those children will grow up with an ingrained distrust of authority.

 In fairness Fox News did say they were only Mexican children and not real children so it's not as bad as you think. Plus the prison camps that are warehousing the babies are actually like summer camps, if the kids would only stop crying long enough to enjoy the gift that the Overlord has given them.

 I remember once when I was six, I had to be hospitalized, being taken away from mom and dad was traumatic and yet at least they could visit me and I knew the doctors and nurses were trying to help me. I wonder about the damage that has been done.

 As evening fell and it started to get dark, I took my sad little chicken out to the barn where it could be reunited with mom, she snuggled him up and all was well. However I couldn't help thinking about the little kids lying in bed wondering where their mom is.

Thursday, June 21, 2018

Lights Final Great Battle!

 Today is the longest day of the year (technically speaking), June 21 is the final battle where light triumphs over darkness, after this day the darkness begins reclaiming the night. There is twilight here until almost eleven at night, dawn will break again at about ten minutes before four in the morning, I love this time of year, it's hard to believe when I am cutting the grass at eight in the evening, with the sun shining brightly, that in a few months it would have been pitch black for hours by then.

 I find this moment a little sad also, I guess my mom has burned this feeling in me, she hated winter and the long long dark nights. "Watch for the sun setting at the pine tree," she would say. One of life's funny oddities, as far as the sun makes it across the horizon in summer, there happens to be a large pine tree growing in that very spot on a ridge when viewed from our yard, as if a marker from mother nature. This evening I watched the sun set by the pine tree in her honor.

At ten o'clock this evening I marked the moment by taking pictures of the night sky

This is after ten p.m. the western sky
is still bright as is the north. Up north is daylight 24/7, there is no nighttime.

It's the first day of summer, everyone party! Woohoo!

Tuesday, June 19, 2018

Do or do not, meh whatever.

 One super awesome blog friend said that he liked the post "Random things about me" and was thinking about doing the same. I had thought of playing blog tag and asking people to do the same but I remembered that I used to hate when people did that so I decided not to... lol.

 Anyone is welcomed to follow along and do one as well, or not, it's up to you lol. You could leave me a comment and let me know to read it. I actually had been putting it together for weeks, every time I remembered something quirky about myself, I wrote it down in my blog, that way it was truly random stuff that pop into my head that I realized about myself. I'm going to start another one since.... well you know... I'm weird, it's ok I'm proud of it.

 Some times I want to get on here and whine about being alone and that no one cares about me but I can't, that's not exactly true. A car pulled up in my yard and it was one of my neighbors, she wanted to drop off some supper for me, no reason just out of kindness, some times I do favours for her and her husband, like baby sit their horses but mostly they look out for me. Like one of those trendy food blogs, I'm having roasted garlic chicken with potatoes and pasta salad. Yum! Better than my canned beans.

 Look at that dish, made with love, I will be having that with a fine Canadian wine, or as the rest of you people call it, beer!

Sunday, June 17, 2018

Party til you... nap?

 Yesterday I was invited to a barbecue, it was a sudden decision of the moment for close friends and neighbours of mine. She decided to text a bunch of people and see who would come. I didn't see the text until almost time to go, the only thing I had to bring was pop, beer and pickles, I went to a local store and bought chips but any other option would take a couple of hours and I was running late getting there as it was. It stressed me out a little because I don't want to be one of those people who shows up to everything empty handed.

 They have a beautiful setting, large trees for shade and two lakes close by to enjoy. I didn't know most of the people there but it didn't matter, I trust the judgment of the couple, they wouldn't tolerate a rude person. Everyone was easy to talk to and I had a really good time. That is something I would have had trouble with at one time, being surrounded by strangers but I think you get more confidence as you get older. Plus my job has given me a lot of experience speaking to groups of people.

 The funny thing is that sometimes I forget how old I actually am, I identify with the thirty somethings but their parents were there as well, some of them are middle to late fifties so they are closer to my age than the kids. I'm not ready to give up on feeling young, I would like to not think of myself as a senior in waiting lol. However life steps in, the younger people had to leave because of kids waiting at home or jobs, pets etc. That left the wild fifty somethings to party on, we moved indoors to escape the cloud of mosquitoes that rise when the sun sinks. We decided to play cards, some drank wine, some drank tea, how wild and crazy is that, although to be honest I always liked dinner parties better than a big loud drunk.

 Sitting around the table, by eleven o'clock I could see everyone was having a hard time keeping their eyes open, including me. I decided to call it a night. When I got home it was 11:45 and I was ready to sleep standing up. I remember when it usually took until two or three in the morning to feel that way. I kind of laughed at myself because it used to be that we would say, "let's party til we drop" and now it's more like party until it's after eleven. I'm not ready to give up on my youth but I think my body sent it out the door when I wasn't looking.

 I think I am going to make up t-shirts and coffee mugs with a little saying that I have come up with, my friends always ask if they can quote me. I tell people that I am entering a stage in my life where I feel every little job I do deserves a nap.

Thursday, June 14, 2018

Random things about me.

I think dandelions are beautiful.

I think bumblebees are cute, I have been stung twice, once because I slapped one as a child and also because I sat on one.

Cheerios give me cramps and diarrhea.

I love animals but I don't want any in the city. It's one of the reasons I never got a dog.

I had a phobia of driving until my thirties and now I absolutely love driving, especially on highways. I feel anxious if my car has to go in for repairs.

I'm lactose intolerant but I love dairy. I have to buy lactose free everything.

I love Joni Mitchell even though she wrote most of her songs when I was a baby.

Thinking of sex makes me sneeze. It also gives me little shocks in my stomach.

One of the reasons I like to garden is because of the uniform rows all neatly lined up, it makes me feel in control and the universe seem right.

When I was young, sausage tasted like cheap cigar smoke to me, so I couldn't eat them without gagging or vomiting.

I love poultry, especially chickens as pets.

Macaroni and cheese also made me gag, I could never eat it until I was in my twenties.

I turn the radio channel when most Beatles songs come on.

I love a cup of tea, always have since childhood.

I think 90% of tv is garbage but watch it anyway.

Unlike most men I almost never had an erotic dream about being with another person.

Processed lunch meat all smells rotten to me, like road kill, so I never eat it.

My political beliefs don't fit into any "box", I don't feel anyone represents me.

I don't really believe in God but I don't want to say it out loud in case I anger him.

I don't really believe in ghosts but I don't want to stay overnight in a haunted house in case I see one.

I feel if God does exist then it would make more sense that God is a mother figure than a father figure but I don't say it out loud in case I anger him.

I have a dark side to me and I wonder if other people have one too but just pretend they don't.

I never visit my father's grave, that feels stupid to me, the stone marked in his name is not him, he isn't there, if he is any place it would be here on the farm.

I used to have nightmares of crashing into a river and drowning until I learned to swim, the nightmares stopped when I dreamt of crashing but this time swimming to safety.

I used to have nightmares of being chased by a bear until one night I turned around and charged the bear, it had a surprised look on its face before I woke up.

I still feel like this is just a rehearsal for my real life and everything is going to reset soon and I can do a better job with my next try at life.

Wednesday, June 13, 2018

Can You Spot the Problem?

 As I make my way through the land of gays, I have come across a very common problem. I have started talking to a few guys in my city. They all say the same thing, how they have no, (or not many) gay friends. How hard it is to meet other gay people and how lonely it is. I suddenly came up with this terrific plan, what if that person and myself meet, maybe even better, what if I met a few of them and helped them to meet each other. Apparently however that is not the answer, silly naive me, I need to learn more.

 The trouble is I have no interest in maintaining an email friendship with someone in this city. I already have some of you guys as email friends, one friendship is going on to twelve years. I want real world friends as well, I want to grab a meal, catch a movie or go enjoy a concert with real friends. If I fall in love or get to shag one of them, that's an added bonus! What a great word "shag" cracks me up saying it. I don't want to put the effort into another friendship that keeps me looking at a computer screen.

 The solution seemed clear to me but not so clear to the others. If I ask to meet, they say yes and are excited to meet me but there is always an excuse, long day at work, have to do laundry, feeling tired, have to do some errands etc etc etc. I am just asking for a coffee date, I'm not asking them to show up to our wedding ceremony! Am I missing something here? Do you see the problem, guys feeling lonely and wanting to meet more people but staying home
and not going out. I think they are lonely because they have become lazy about meeting others or maybe people have become so soft, that they don't want to have to deal with the little bit of anxiety which comes from meeting someone new. Maybe they need those pink kitty hats.

Tuesday, June 12, 2018

Grocery list of waste.

 One day I was listening to a program on the radio about the amount of food we waste. If we added up the cost for each house plus the amount of energy that went into producing that food, the numbers were staggering. Especially when you consider all that food was going into the garbage. The guest suggested that we create a grocery list, not of items that we need but of food that we wasted. Total the amount at the end of each month and then add those totals again at the year's end. This would apparently shock many people.

 I know that I often feel embarrassed by the amount of things that I throw away. My two biggest problems are living alone and lack of brain function. Living alone I don't feel like cooking, I find cooking and cleaning up after is almost the same effort for one person as it is for two or three, so I'm just not into doing it. I buy good vegetables to cook but end up wanting something quick, so instead of a good meal, I open a can of soup.

 My other problem is my brain no longer works properly, I am forgetful and I lose track of time. I buy wholesome food like broccoli or green peppers with the intention of creating a healthy meal; however I keep thinking that I "just" bought those vegetables and put off using them until suddenly it's a week later and they have mold on them. Last night I was really ticked off with myself, I bought extra lean ground beef, that doesn't come cheap here and I kept putting off using it. I shoved it back in the fridge and forgot about it until yesterday. It expired five days ago. I bought broccoli and said to myself that I must remember to eat it because I wasted the last bunch. Again I see it's too late, I left it too long as I also did with a basket of strawberries, I went to use them last night and they were rotting covered with mold, I left them in the fridge too long.

 I would be embarrassed by the price of the groceries that I toss, I imagine myself taking money out of my wallet and throwing it in the garbage, I wouldn't do something so crazy as that and yet I basically am doing that. Even worse, I should be eating better as I age but I'm not doing that, in fact now when I go shopping I skip the fresh fruits and vegetables section because I will only waste the food. If I'm supposed to be getting smarter as I age, then I am not seeing any signs of it yet.