Saturday, May 30, 2015

The mailman.

One day an elderly woman was babysitting her neighbor's little boy. "Have you seen our new mailman" she asked "he is very handsome". "Yes" answered the little boy,"he wears blue underwear". Startled the woman asked how the boy knew the color of the mailman's underwear. "Well one morning when I woke up early, the mailman was running down the hall pulling his pants and shirt back on". The woman then asked if he spoke to daddy about what he saw. "Yes I did, and he said that he would give me a new bike if I promised never to tell mommy about seeing the mailman".

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Men's buns, the hair kind.

Men with buns, the hair bun, just STOP it! What next are you going to wear pigtails too, maybe a hair barrett in the shape of little butterflies. I don't like them on a man. I am hoping this trend will die a quick death but I'm afraid it will live on, like those baggy pants that always makes the guy appear to have soiled his diaper. I think the bun emerged from kung fu movies or something along those lines. Yes I know some of you think it's trendy cute but not me, I like men to be men and wearing a bun in your hair like an elderly librarian just doesn't cut it with me. So stop it, get a haircut, look like the stallion you are...... and not like his sister. Lol :D

Sunday, May 17, 2015

What type of woman do you like?

Oh man, here we go again, a woman that I used to work with years ago, has started working with me again. First don't get me wrong, I like her and she is friendly, a little comical as well. However I am not close to her and also a bit guarded with my personal information. One of these days I am going to shock someone with my response, not in a rude way, hopefully just in a honest and funny way. ....................... The answers I give in my head, I would love to say out loud in the right moment. "What is the most important thing I look for in a woman, why a penis of course"! What kind of woman do I find attractive, one who looks like Tarzan. You want to fix me up with your friend, does she have a cute brother? For now I won't rock the boat, I say that I'm not looking at the moment, because of my situation, I don't have the time to invest in a relationship and it would not be fair to the other person, which is actually true.

Saturday, May 9, 2015

Shirtless Joggers.

The strange thing about the weather in this part of Canada is we have gone from snow and ice to sweltering heat with high humidity in two weeks. This is very typical for the area so no cause for alarm. One of the bonuses is there are all these shirtless joggers running along the route I have to take each day. So distracting lol. Some guys are just so lucky, they were made so perfectly hot, and they know it. I used to be envious of my friends that seemed to pack on muscle just from picking up a book. Now I just enjoy the view. Last night there was a man jogging and he was achingly handsome, do you ever get that feeling in your gut, someone so good looking that you actually "feel" it. He had that naturally defined body, both from DNA and from taking care of himself. Oh to be a fly on his shower wall. Not trying to be a perv here but all my friends are straight.... well except for my lesbian friends but they would be at a loss on the shirtless men subject as well.

Sunday, May 3, 2015

Fried chicken!

Fried chicken, yup just fried chicken, no metaphor here. How can you screw up fried chicken. Big mega corporations always out for the buck can. The other night I was coming home from work and was really hungry. I haven't had fried chicken in months so I thought it would be quick to pick some up at the store. It was bland, completely tasteless and very dry, how can fried chicken be dry!?! If anything it should have been a little greasy. So thanks big box store, you managed to make a slightly indulgent meal, dull and neutral like most things you put your hands on.