Sunday, January 6, 2008

Strike The Funny Bone

This week I have been keeping it on the lighter side, there are some issues on my mind but I don't feel like dealing with them at the moment so I'll stick to the lighter side for today again.

The following paragraph will be a wee bit X rated so since there are a couple of really sweet people who read this blog, you may want to stop now and go else where, the rest of you I see are waaaay more perverted than I am so deal with it! Today on a Canadian Lesbian web site I saw the funniest slogan. It said "save a tree, eat a beaver", leave it up to the sisters! Which brings to mind one of my quirks that I can't explain. Every once in a while I do briefly look at porn, it's a guy thing right, anyway sometimes I look at straight porn since they have some pretty hot studs now. The strange thing for me is that I like to watch the guys um... um... well uh... eat beaver! Yup it is true, not sure what the kick is in it for me, however on the contrary I don't like to watch her su... um smoke pipe. Nope not at all, when she starts that, I skip the part and go straight to the humping. Yeah straight guys humping, I just even love the way that sounds, oh come on I can be naughty once in a while too!

Okay joke time! Everyone put away the rotten fruit and vegetables first though.
One day this mature American woman was driving through a Canadian town, being still quite beautiful and independent she was somewhat of a cougar on the prowl when away from home. She spotted a bar and stopped to go in and maybe pick up a little action. She set her sights on a couple of handsome young men sitting at a table, seeing one of them go for drinks she knew this was her chance to move in on the one left sitting down.
As she approached, the man looked up at her and said "don't even think about it lady."
She asked " and why not?"
Holding up a ring on his finger he responded "because I am a happily married man."
With a grin she said, "a little fun on the side, how do you know you won't like it?"
A little angry now the man again pointed to his ring and said, "don't even think about it lady I'm a happily married man!"
With a huff she got up and scanning the room, she smirked as she spied the second man getting the drinks.
The first man's voice broke her thoughts, "don't even think about it lady."
With an annoyed tone in her voice she said, "and why not?"
"Because" he said chuckling to himself, "he is the one I'm happily married to!"

Okay everyone have a good week! : )


don said...

I love watching straight porn too. The only part that creeps me out is those long nails. Yikes! Ladies keep them away from the mans junk! Lipstick on the pipe kinda weirds me out too. Other than that I likes it.

Jess said...

Yeah, I must say that straight studs getting it on are hot. I think it's the unrequited lust from the straight boys I've wanted to jump over the years. If I were a little more adventurous in HS and college (and, in hindsight, I've realized that a few of those boys could have been played with), I might not be so interested in straight boys, but such is life.

Doug said...

I confess to liking str8 and bi porn, too, mostly b/c I like seeing guys get off at whatever they like to do.

"Everyone once in a while I do briefly look at porn."

Define "every once in a while" and "briefly." Are you a politician? ;)

W said...

hahaha funny.

Straght porn tickles my funny bones at times

K said...

Straight porn can be interesting at times....but I feel like the guys aren't as hot as they are in gay porn.

Kinda like an

Anywho...I love that joke....I'm totally moving back to Canada to get married someday as I don't see it ever happening in the US in my lifetime.

Hopefully I'll be proven wrong tho! Cross your fingers.

Will said...

A trick of mine some while ago used to have straight porn on while I visited. I spoke to him about it but he really needed it to get going, so I just made sure to choose positions that kept my head away from the screen. The few times I wound up having to watch, I really couldn't take it.

Give me two strapping, mature guys deeply in lust with each other and I'm a happy boy.

Steve said...

Str8 porn? na-uh, not for me!

Anonymous said...

gay porn for me.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Yuck, I agree Don, long nails are creepy, and do you think they could keep her quiet, nothing kills the mood faster when the women start their fake "oh yes oh yes give it to me big boy!"

Jess, bingo for me too! Now when I look back I gave up many chances. I was so afraid of being thought of as gay that I didn't see some people already knew and did not care.

Doug, hahaha you never miss a beat buddy! Briefly would be hours and every once in a while would be every other day! I'm totally a politician on here! I agree with you, I like to see the man getting off on what he is doing, but I also like to see him being tender, maybe that is why I like the oral scenes.

Erik, whew! Good thing you said straight porn tickles your 'bones' and not bone, that could have come out so wrong! ;)

K, afterthought yes but now I find that is changing. Gee I'm glad at least one person liked the joke!

Will, so it was turning one guy on and another guy off, a little awkward I would think. ;)

Steve, to each his own I guess, it is not all the time with me, just sometimes. Depends on the guys and how well the movie is made.

Eliot, okay! Mostly for me too but I keep an open mind.

Will said...

Yes, Steve, it was a little awkward but I bravely carried on giving it (and him) my all so that everything (and everyone) came out OK.