Sunday, June 30, 2019

Year ten.

 Today marks ten years since my father's death. I had kept thinking that maybe I should do something like a family dinner or something along those lines. However I felt that would be pointless actually since mom wouldn't be able to attend and my sister probably wouldn't want to come. My sister was always very close to dad and has never been the same since he died.

 A neighbour dropped in to say he was thinking about me today and to wish me well on this sad anniversary. I felt that was really thoughtful, very typical for him and it picked up my spirits. He grew up on a neighboring farm so he has known dad all his life. I couldn't help thinking this morning that ten years ago dad was alive and as afternoon approached, that he wasn't. I don't know what the significance of ten years really means if anything, it's like a last milestone, once past this number... then counting years becomes silly I guess.

 I decided to go visit mom to see how she is doing. Thinking of dad in regards to mom, on Friday morning when I got the call that mom could have a heart attack, I remember having the feeling that I will never see her again. That memory came back from when dad died, an overwhelming drowning feeling that I will never see him again. As much of a strain mom's care can be and even though most of "mom" is gone, the thought that I would never see her again broke my heart.

 Mom is doing fine, I found her in the sitting room, snuggled under a blanket relaxing in a reclining chair. She just had snack time, she seemed quiet today, not very talkative, the nurse said everything has been normal since Friday and that mom was her usual self.

 One week, one month, one year, one decade, unbelievable to us. I didn't mark the occasion today, I didn't go to dad's gravesite, I rarely do because to me Dad is not there. He's not coming back and sometimes I feel the young people today have a better idea, instead of a sad funeral, they have a celebration of life for the person. That sounds better, I would rather think about the time he cooked a frozen pizza upside down on a cookie sheet, than pointlessly mourn for him. I remember my aunt, who had been widowed many years, saying to us at the time, "you never get over losing someone special, you only get used to it".

Saturday, June 29, 2019

Steven Unplugged.

 Today I'm feeling very unplugged, it's a day for me to mope around. Yesterday as I was about to arrive for work, I received a call that mom's heart rate had fallen to dangerous levels. The nurse asked me what did I want to do, she said at that rate she could have a heart attack. We try not to have mom subjected to tests and procedures anymore, there is no point in major operations etc, we try to just keep her happy and comfortable. I wasn't ready to let her go, I couldn't say keep her comfortable and have her die because of my decision, that would be too heavy of a burden to carry for the rest of my life, so I told them to send her to emergency and I would meet them there.

 I was just dropping something off at my bank before work and feeling slightly shook up, there I am, standing in line after making a life and death decision and silently saying to myself, "don't cry in line, don't cry in line, don't cry in line"! That's nuts but so is life.

 I made it to the hospital, mom looked very weak; however all her vital signs soon returned to normal. I spent the day with her as they did every test possible. They have an idea of what it could be but she has to have another test to be sure. She is back at the home now resting, they can look after her better there.

 The decisions I often have to make regarding mom weigh heavily on my mind. I try to do my best and I also try to think of what she would want. It's torture to see her lying there, confused, anxious and wanting to leave. I have to keep tucking her in and assuring her that everything is going to be alright. I have become the parent now and mom is the frightened child.

 Today is also a sad day for me, ten years ago today I saw my dad alive for the last time. I told the story before about how I was taking care of him, my sister came home to give me a break so that I could go and have my car repaired in the city. The next day when I arrived home, he had died about two hours earlier, I didn't get to say goodbye. I will probably blog about it again tomorrow, it's crazy how it doesn't feel like ten years has passed. It feels like a blink of an eye... compared to when we are ten years old and then eons later we are twenty years old.

 I feel completely drained today, I have no energy, like someone pulled my plug out, "eeeeaarrr" energy powering down. I tried to work outside a little but a sudden storm came up and crashed around all afternoon, that sure didn't perk me up. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day.

Friday, June 28, 2019

Where's my pride coffee mug?

 I was reading some posts regarding the LGBTQ community and how companies do or do not market to us. I know Lurker was one of them, ranting as usual in a way only he can do. There see... I mentioned you... happy now? :D

 Anyway I was thinking to myself, where are all the gay pride mugs, what about t-shirts, matching rainbow pillow cases at least? I know you can get them in every gay village, in every city but not on the shelves of mainstream stores. Many businesses and stores say they support the spirit of pride but that's a surprise because I don't see it. Think about St Patrick's day, the stores are filled with hats, t-shirts, mugs, buttons, cards or whatever you can name with a St Patrick's day theme to them, same with Valentine day, no store is worried about the tacky items they put up for sale on that day.

 The only one I saw this month was at my bank this morning, an ad was playing inside the bank and a message appeared saying my bank supports the LGBTQ community, then the bank logo popped up, only instead of the regular colours of the bank, it was the pride colours. That actually did make me feel more welcomed.

 I have been keeping an eye out and when I am buying groceries or other items at different types of stores, I look for anything to do with pride, so far nothing. In other words, we support our LGBTQ customers as long as they buy the same sh#t as straight people do. Back to the drawing board straight people!

Tuesday, June 25, 2019

Want to see my penises?

 Oh so sorry, that darn spell check, ruined another post, I meant peonies not the other things. It was warm yesterday and rained. I was so surprised when I came home from work because the peonies went from little round flower buds to full bloom in a few hours.
I can't remember if these originally came from my grandmother, I believe they did as she had similar ones, sadly there is no one to answer the question. Also I don't see them growing around my grandmother's house like they once used to, the new owners must have let them die out.

 We used to have another bush but in all the years it was here, it never once bloomed no matter what we did to encourage it to bloom. Two years ago I pulled it up to make room for other flowers.

 What? What the... Christmas??? Today is "half way to Christmas" day, it's amazing how time flies, although to be honest I find the winter went by slowly; however in that amount of time again, we will be right back in the holidays. I really need to start coming up with a better plan, I'm tired of sad and lonely Christmases with me just sitting around thinking of past good times.

Before I start singing jingle bells, let me bring you back to summer. My flowers are starting to fill in, makes me feel happy. Pretty pretty flowers, yup I'm gay!
 Ahhh summer, I'm so glad you are here again! Except for those mosquito things, a little less of those please.

Sunday, June 23, 2019

And the march goes on... sadly.

  Have you ever been turned on by something because of a fantasy in your head, only to have that association removed because of a negative event. Example, maybe you have a fantasy of someone picking you up in a convertible, until one day you are harassed by some creepy guy in a convertible. One of my turn ons was construction workers, road workers etc, it plays into my attraction towards masculine men.

 My last boyfriend had a side business of renovations, my fwb worked construction in the off season. Once when I was at my fwb's place and we were horsing around, I got him to put on his yellow vest and hardhat, he couldn't find his tool belt or I would have made him wear that too... plus work boots! Sometimes when I was in a hardware store and I saw the work vests on sale, I was tempted to buy one, just for the role play/foreplay value, they automatically stirred something in me. That has changed now because of a new meaning assigned to that image.

 In France the yellow vest movement started in protest over economic reasons etc; however in Canada that movement was hijacked by something sinister. First it tried to pretend to be similar but when people looked closer, the yellow vests people were wearing could be replaced by the MAGA hats from the states. One man said they are worried about illegal immigrants and that they are not racist but they don't trust our immigration minister because he is a n-word from Somalia! O.O   Yup, no racism there. Workman fantasy ended.

 Today is the Pride parade in Toronto, one of the largest in north america or so I keep hearing. I should have planned to attend that, well that's another post. Unfortunately the police are on high alert, it seems that the nutty right has become emboldened by the tyrant of the south and unbelievable have been targeting gay pride events in Canada. Some people were assaulted and injured in Hamilton at a pride event there. The media has forgotten that the winter pride parade here in Ottawa had protesters, imagine the hatred that would bring you out in freezing cold weather to yell at gay people.

  It turns out the people behind it are members of the yellow bellied... I mean yellow vest movement with the help of religious leaders from the states and some from Canada. Whew...that makes me angry beyond words. Especially when I think of those hick talking inbred ignorant backwoods sounding dolts in cheap suits foaming at the mouth on tv. So so angry, I can't say anymore.

 How many times have we read articles wondering if pride parades were even still needed. Well it looks like we need them now more than ever. I hope the parade goes off without a hitch and everyone has a fabulous gay old time. As for those other people, I don't think they need a straight parade, I think they need a Hate parade, where they can get together and hate everyone who isn't a wasp.

 I will say it's sadly ironic that Toronto pride will not allow the supportive police officers to march in the parade, while running to them for protection at the same time. They shouldn't take their grievances out on the individual officers.

Friday, June 21, 2019

P.S please send cherries!

 Today is the first day of summer, although with the cold weather we are having, you would never know it! A drawback to this date, it's also unfortunately the beginning of the days getting shorter. At the moment it's 10:24 p.m. and there is still twilight in the north, it will be like that until after eleven. That's because in the northern part of Canada, it's sunshine 24/7, there is no night, only day. The flat earth people need to explain that one.
 This was a picture I took around ten o'clock on this date last year. I got home too late tonight.

 Today I also got excited over a positive aspect regarding this time of year, yes the American cherries have arrived, the real ones, no fake imitations, shipped unripe from some far off country. The real Yankee doodle cherries, yummy juicy deeelicious! I have mentioned in past posts how much I look forward to eating these!
 In fact you Americans can just send us all your cherries, think of it as a way to apologize for voting in... well you know, lol. Anyway ummm, errrr I heard they are bad for you, yeah that's it they are bad for you, so ummm, just send them north and we will take care of the problem :D.

Thursday, June 20, 2019

Honey or Vinegar.

 Like the old saying, you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Regarding my last post about a co-worker's bigotry towards gay and trans people, I tend to feel similar to old Lurker's view. The conversation between myself and Doug was private, there is no need for HR to be involved, that would be me censoring his thoughts and no matter how much I disagree with him, that is also very wrong. If however he knew I am gay and came at me like that to intimidate me, or harassed the transgender woman, then that's a completely different story, I would have no problem getting him fired.

 I don't see the point in becoming adversaries, he is not an evil person, just ignorant of the LGBTQ community. Like the movie Star Wars, I would like to try to slowly bring him over from the "dark side". He is for the most part actually a good man in every other way except this. I certainly wouldn't want to see him fired over this and what would that accomplish, it would only make him feel that he was right about us.

 Anyway all the previous comments were great, you people have my back, when I opened my page and saw all the thoughtful comments I appreciated it. I know some of you want me to clobber him but I haven't been truthful with him either and I would like to keep a friend out of this, not make an enemy, there is too much of that going around these days. He is also religious so that could be a stumbling block, if I can't get through to him, then at least I tried. I just certainly wouldn't start to break the ice with the fact that I think he's quite hot in shorts and a t-shirt.

Wednesday, June 19, 2019

Display of hatred.

 Yesterday I was shaken up a little by something that happened at work. It was a conversation between myself and someone that I have worked with for years. Doug is generally a nice guy, he can be a little old fashioned or conservative in his thinking but not to extreme or so I thought. For instance, he doesn't support a politician just because they are right wing, they have to do a good job.

 Doug came into the room where I was working and started to talk about the transgender person, apparently he was upset with the way she was dressed. I started to point out that it's not about "him" it's about what that person needs and it's not our business, when all of a sudden Doug starts ranting and raving about her. He starts fuming over washrooms, the change rooms, the men's showers, has she seen him changing, that he feels violated by her etc etc. Then he starts saying things like, there are probably more people like that around and probably gay people as well at work... and that you never know who is checking you out, it's disgusting! He was absolutely livid, I could feel the seething hate he had for the trans woman.

 I was completely caught off guard, I have never felt so uncomfortable in the presence of a "friend" before... a little afraid to be honest, he is much larger than I am and very athletic. I really felt in that moment if I had said that I am gay (and I was angry enough that I was tempted) he would have hit me out of a sense in his mind of betrayal. A woman I work with came in to get me and so he ended the conversation.

 Today I can't even look at him, I did not know he held those views. I even see him differently today than I did yesterday, like he has been replaced by a totally different person, one that just happens to look like him. It's unsettling to discover that someone you once thought of as a friend, is actually an enemy.

Tuesday, June 18, 2019

Funeral @ eleven.

 The great thing about growing up in a small community is that you either  know the person you meet on the street or you are related to them. The bad thing about growing up in a small community is that every person you meet is either someone you know or  you are related to them.

 I find lately it is becoming difficult because the generation of people my parents age and older are all dying off, leading to a constant string of wakes and funerals. Unfortunately I don't feel that I have the time or desire to attend all of them. The families, generally hold off the funerals now until Saturday, when most people can make it. Funeral Saturday at eleven is the message that gets passed around.

This creates a dilemma I feel because I only have Saturday and Sunday to do everything chores wise and social life wise. If there is a funeral at eleven Saturday, then the day is gone pretty much because buy the time the mass has ended and people gathered for sandwiches afterwards, it's almost four o'clock. I'm not spending my weekends at funerals. I have enough close relatives and friends that I am going to have to ignore the third and fourth cousins, plus long time acquaintances etc, I will feel awful but I have no choice. Plus I get tired of observing death, life is so precious we should be concentrating on living.

 This week an older distant cousin of mine died, she was a good friend of my parents. Don't get me wrong, I liked this woman, she was a really kind and sweet lady. However she had no husband, no children, only a few elderly brothers and sisters are all that she had left. There's going to be nobody really there to pay my respects to.

One of the reasons I am not going, I don't want funeral overload, it just seems that every week this spring there is a funeral, that can bring a person down. Sorry everyone, funeral at eleven but I can't make it.

Saturday, June 15, 2019

Rainy day excuse.

 It's Saturday and it's raining.. and cold, this allows for the excuse of staying indoors most of the day. This way I don't feel guilty doing my house chores, as I said before, sunny days demand outdoor activities. Apparently this is supposed to be how our summer is going to turn out. Unfortunately our weather is so far behind, it's the middle of June but looks and feels like the middle of May. A week or two ago one friend text me saying he expects to see snow, then we heard that some places a little north of us received snow, yuck. The mosquitoes are wearing little tiny snowsuits. Anyhoo it's pride month so back to the "mo" stuff.

 On a serious note I heard something positive regarding the gay community. There has always been the stat that gay men have a shorter lifespan than straight men. Even more shocking is this did not include the deaths from HIV. I found that alarming, I wondered if we were wired differently and caused us to die sooner. I also wondered if it was all the extra stress we live under that straight guys don't have to deal with.

 The positive news is that our lifespan is rapidly rising, fast approaching that of an average straight man. The reason for this they feel is because.... anyone? Can you guess anyone, anyone? Well if you guessed gay marriage, you would be correct. Makes sense when you consider that the "bean counters" have been saying for years that married straight guys live longer than single straight guys. Who would think that a person in a loving relationship having two people looking out for each other would be healthier, so suck it religious right-wrong! They also said that gay people living in areas where society accepted them, also had a longer lifespan. That says something about the people trying to push us back into the closet. I also think it's healthier for straight people to be happy for us, than be stressed out if we're wearing rainbow colour underwear.

 Another interesting thing I heard was on a conservative radio station. Of course in Canada, conservative is generally about keeping government spending under control and not about standing in a field waiting for instructions from some god.  They had on some doctors regarding transgender children, the host asked many questions about allowing the child to follow through with their wishes. Basically the doctors said that the person will eventually transitioning and the parents can either be supportive or lose their child from their life. They said however that a trans child that has their parents support generally goes on to lead a productive life, they are more likely to finish school, go on to university, start a career, have healthy relationships etc.

 The flip side is children rejected by family become homeless, live on the streets, turn to the sex trade for their living, often become addicted to drugs, have a high rate of suicide, get mutilated by trying to alter their appearance, get assaulted and even murdered. I liked the factual answers, the results are clear, the doctors didn't seem to have any agenda left or right. I was pretty much ignorant about this topic to be honest but now I think society's choice is crystal clear regarding what to do, be supportive or have blood on your hands.

Friday, June 14, 2019


 Dear Americans, you kept taking all our good hockey players and using them to steal our Stanley Cup, we had enough of your big-money ways and decided to get back at you. We, with our one little NBA team, beat all your teams asses and now we have the NBA championship.

 We beat you in basketball... Canada BEAT YOU IN BASKETBALL! BASKETBALL! BA..SKET..BAAAAA..LLLL. You suck, deal with it. Lol :D


Thursday, June 13, 2019

When art moves you.

 I saw this video last night for the first time, I absolutely love the story going on in the video, it really moved me. I think this represents true love and it also tells a story not often seen... anywhere. The song is inspirational as well, I love the singer's raw emotion. I hope you enjoy this, it nearly made me cry :)...

Wednesday, June 12, 2019

What year was that?

 Today I had one of those sudden moments that hit you about age. We were talking about essays in high school and I was recalling how much I hated when a teacher would say, "alright class, I want a three thousand word essay on"... I joked about installing many filler words like "and, when, the, then" etc just to get the count up. Half way through the teacher would say, "no using words over and over to get your count up, you will lose marks if you do"!

 A young man I work with of twenty four, said that if I had only know there is a program that I could have used, it helps a student extend his essay by suggesting words and phrases to add in without looking like you are doing this and upsetting the teacher. I had to think for a second. Then I said sadly, "when I was in high school, computers hadn't been invented yet". That reality shocked me, especially since they are everywhere now. To be honest, yes they were starting to make an appearance by the end of my high school days, I was even in a computer class but in my early high school days, computers were only something on Star Trek.

Tuesday, June 11, 2019

With Friends Like These.

 The past few weeks I have been reading a lot of stories about LGBTQ people experiencing negative situations, from being called names to physical assault. A lot I feel, has to do with what happened in the last American election. It gave the homo-bigoted a sense of "our time is now". I hate using the word homophobia because those people don't have a fear of gay people, they know exactly who we are and they have an agenda of repression and hate. They should be described as homo-bigoted or homo-prejudice because they hate us and see us as some sort of damaged people who should just keep quiet and pretend to be straight.

 I'm lucky however, I live in Canada and I find that things are slowly getting better all the time. I was thinking back to something that happened to my ex boyfriend over ten years ago. He was at work and asked an employee to redo something they had been working on. The guy walked away angry and said out loud something like "I hate working with a big fruit or big queer like him" words along those lines. The ex was humiliated, not everyone knew yet that he was gay. He said nothing and just let it go like gay people have often done for years.

 A day later the ex was pulled into the main office. The boss had heard what happened, and was horrified. He found out because the other workers loved my ex and went en masse to have the other guy fired, they were outraged, they were behind their friend. Later my ex received a note from the guy that was fired, it was an apology letter and he felt it was sincere.

 I was thinking about myself, the beautiful thing is, if I was eating lunch at work with my usual group and some dumbass came up to torment me saying, "hey heard you're a big queer, you certainly look like a fag". That guy would have a group come down on him like a hammer. He probably would get threatened physically and he definitely would have his ass fired in 1.2 seconds. It's hard to believe at times when I think back, twenty five years ago the table would have been against me, now it's the opposite. Yes we are used to having to stand up for ourselves but it's nice when you realize we are not always alone.

Monday, June 10, 2019

Men in ties.

 Keeping things on the lighter side. This morning driving through downtown, I was watching a couple of young men walking, laughing and talking on their way to work. The weather was warm so they were not wearing jackets. They had on dress shirts and a tie, I saw the same thing coming home this evening only they were older men. I love men with a tie on and a coordinated dress shirt, I found all of them looked incredibly handsome this way, I like a man dressed up, I find it presses all the right buttons with me.

 I know that I joke about wearing old jeans etc but to be honest I do both. At home I like to be comfortable, if I'm invited to a neighbour's around here, I'm expected to show up in comfortable clothes, it's about relaxing and enjoying company of friends. In the city however I do like to dress up and go out every now and again. I love it when the guys at work have to dress up, it makes them show like the handsome peacocks they really are. I like when a group of us dress up to go out, that never happens anymore.

 The other day I bought some dress shirts, I get a little thrill out of doing that, a gay man that enjoys shopping, go figure. I'm not sure if you have Winners or Marshalls where you live, name brand clothes sold for much less  of a price, I love going there. When I came home, I was looking over my haul, as I went to put them away there was a bag hanging inside one of the closets, when I opened the bag... jackpot! Apparently I went shopping and completely forgot about these shirts! I was thrilled all over again because I didn't remember what I bought lol. It must have been just before Christmas and I hung up the bag and forgot.

 Anyway, handsome men with ties, oh yes that makes my day! I think if I ever get to marry someone, he better not show up in shorts, t-shirt and sandals or it's a divorce before the wedding even happens!

Sunday, June 9, 2019

Who's the young man? ;)

 I was visiting mom yesterday, I love the place more and more with each visit. This weekend is gorgeous, summer has finally arrived, sunshine and warm weather. They told me everyone is outback in "the garden". I went out through what appeared to be a sitting room designed with the feel of a country lodge. Out back was an area with flowers and a vegetable garden. They had the people relaxing in the shade. How perfectly healthy is that, mentally and physically, no more being locked up like in an asylum for mom. It gives family members a sense of peace and comfort.

 There is an interesting "buzz" going around about an elderly woman's son that looks really young for his age. Some of the workers on different shifts whisper to each other, "wait until you see her son, he looks like her grandson". That lucky little bas...ket who wouldn't want to stay young looking. Even better would be to feel young, I have to say that I have aged well up to now, all good things come to an end, I'm starting to slowly feel like I'm falling apart, I'm getting rusty, the warranty is up. Like some of my older cousins, I can soon look forward to having replacement parts installed.

 A staff member at mom's home approaches me upon seeing me with mom, all smiles and friendly, she wants to update me about mom. She asks me, "are you her grandson"? I answer, "no I'm her son". Her eyes suddenly get really big and then a huge smile comes on her face, "oooh, I heard about you... they say wait until you see her son, he looks like her grandson... so that must be you"! Yes... why yes it is me, the incredibly young, handsome looking son who could pass as her grandson... so deal with it all you bitches in blog land! Hahaha, this is one of my happy posts. Like I said at the beginning of this post, I'm loving this new home for mom more and more all the time! :D

Saturday, June 8, 2019

Internet free day.

 In my battle to stay off the internet or at least, view it in moderation. Today was a really good day. I just checked in early this morning, again while eating lunch and now again at ten in the evening. I didn't fall down any rabbit holes either. I accomplished a lot early this morning and today in general.

 Speaking of the internet, I signed up for alerts on my email regarding all things LGBTQ, especially with it being pride month. Unfortunately it seems to be a dud, there were many things happening today, tonight and tomorrow. I didn't receive a single email over the last two weeks about anything. I suspect that I won't hear a thing until they want to sell something or need a donation.

Friday, June 7, 2019

In my hetero world.

 I was thinking today about people claiming that we see gay people and gay society everywhere now. People on both sides of the issue say these things, supportive and non supportive. Really you see a gay society... because I don't! Everything regarding pride is always right down town, right in the center of the city.  This doesn't make it easy to get to if you have a car, the core of the city is not welcoming to drivers. However gay events concentrated down town certainly isn't gay people living a fabulously gay life all over the city.

 Where is all this gay lifestyle happening. I pass hetero movie theaters, playing hetero love stories. I walk through malls filled with straight couples and straight families. They have straight book stores with stories about straight couples. The straight jewelry stores are trying to entice the straight couples in love to buy something. I buy my straight groceries from straight grocery stores. I go to straight work and work with straight people.

 Where is this huge gay take over? I heard a woman complain on the radio, "first they took the beautiful word gay from us, then they took the rainbow, what more do they want"? Really... we took the rainbow? The rainbow?

 There may be more story lines with gay characters in television and movies, there may also be more famous people being out in the open regarding their sexuality but as far as day to day living, I'm still reminded every few seconds that this is a heterosexual world.

Every now and then gay people should get together and do something... oh I know, let's have a parade... including all the different people in the LGBTQ community. Wouldn't that be something.

Thursday, June 6, 2019

Congratulations, you're a stain.

  This is our month, a time for fun, joy, celebrating and affirming ourselves as part of society. Parades, festivals, dances, parties, colourful displays what could be more exciting. Unfortunately there always has to be the negative people inserting themselves into our world. They have to try and make their views seem relevant. Like wearing a brand-new, crisp, white dress-shirt, they are the spaghetti stain down the front that almost ruins the evening.

  I was reading yesterday how there is supposed to be a "straight pride parade" in Boston. Right away that sends a signal as to the type of person who wants to hold a parade like that. If someone started a "white people" parade or a "men only parade" we would know instantly that people of colour or women would not feel welcomed to these parades.

 Reading further however just made me really irritated and not with the people trying to do this but with the media and social media. Like being at a party with that spaghetti sauce on your shirt, there is nothing more annoying than the guy that keeps pointing out the stain. "Yes Einstein, I already know about the stain, the last seven times you pointed it out were unnecessary"!

 The story is basically a couple of jerks that  hold bigoted views and are trying to have their views noticed, it should be "end of story" at that point. Why give them any credibility, they are not a well formed group, or anything like that but they may be soon after all the free publicity. People, especially those considered liberal, need to calm down and stop being so quick to jump towards the bait. These are just desperate men trying to revive a dying way of thinking. Congratulations you're a stain on society.

  Being a gay man, on this day, the 75th anniversary of D-day, the day when things started to turn around for the allied countries, we have to really stop and think. The sacrifice for us is larger than most of us grasp. Imagine the LGBTQ community under a nazi controlled world, the experiments, the deaths, the suffering would be unimaginable. Imagine guys like the Boston group being in control, making laws and guiding "their" version of society, that sends a chill through a person's core.

Wednesday, June 5, 2019

Stopping by.

 Nothing much today, I'm just thinking to myself that I need to do more than just post stuff online, that's not really living my full life as a gayboy lol. I saw mom yesterday and she is doing fine. I really like the new home for her, again when I left I felt good inside, I know that she is being cared for and the staff seems to care about the people they are looking after.  There is a difference between doing the job and caring about the people you are doing the job for. Plus with that facility they have everything, medication, doctors on staff, protocols regarding illness and end of life. This place gives me peace of mind. It also gives me permission to start my life now, I can relax and go away for a few days and not worry anymore, my sister can step in and we are on the same page regarding decisions. I think my sister said it best the other day, she said, "I feel mom is home now".

 I have to figure out some things to do, fun wise, gay wise that suit me. What I would enjoy now is not the same as twenty years ago (when I was fifteen)? Some things are the same, it's just that I need to be in bed by one or take a nap during the day, lol. Just kidding... sort of :/

 Anyway I was thinking that I'm neglecting my sisters, the other half of the "mo" crowd, the L-word bunch, wait does that mean that someone who is a lesbian is an L-mo? Oh man am I ever going to push that on my lesbian friends... who will no doubt do that shoulder punch thing... ouch!

 I saw this clip last night of Wanda Sykes, I think she is funny, I have been a fan for years, she usually lights up any room she is in. Oddly enough I was not aware that she is gay and married to a woman from France, I only found out a couple of years ago. I hope you enjoy this clip of her being interviewed by Stephen Colbert.

Tuesday, June 4, 2019

Gay card rescinded!

 I received an upsetting letter in the mail yesterday, it seems that during pride month, the gaystablishment has decided to rescind my gay card. Apparently I'm not gay enough and they feel I could be one of those "straight curious" guys that has infiltrated Homolandia or Gaydonia and I must be stopped. They listed my suspicious behaviour and beliefs.

1) I like dressing in blue, black, brown, grey, white (shirts only) and unforgivable... beige!

2) I'm not a fan of little fluffy yapping dogs with bows in their fur. That's not a dog.

3) I have never watched anything with Rupaul in it, I only know who he is from watching "Match Game".

4) I like to clean up once in a while but I have no interest in fashion, more than $50 for a shirt is too much.

5) I don't own anything with a rainbow on it, glitter, sparkles or hearts.

6) I find Sam Smith songs all sound the same... like he is about to start crying and wailing.

7) I have never seen Modern family, I didn't care for Game of Thrones and I hate Grey's Anatomy with a passion.

8) I have never tried gin, a martini or a cappuccino.

9) I haven't had sex since Reagan was shot, well at least it feels that way!

10) I would rather listen to country music than house music, actually I would rather go to a dentist than listen to house music.

11) A gay person would never go past ten on a list.

12) I kill all my own spiders and I don't scream while doing it.... anymore.

  They sent out a squad of lesbians to try and take my card away from me by force, I defeated them by answering the door while holding a bible and saying, "oh fantastic, come in while I tell you all about this wonderful book"! They ran off for some reason.

Monday, June 3, 2019

June the gay month.

 This is pride month, if you don't know your gay history about June being chosen, you need to google it and the seriousness behind the choice. I will let others handle that part of our history as there are many good blogs and stories about it.

 June is the best time of year to invest in companies that make glitter, sparkles, rainbow flags and coloured wigs! It's the month to have a gay old time! I... Mr stick in the mud, even signed up for pride info and events. Hopefully I will find something I like and be able to enjoy, maybe even volunteer if I can be of some help. I'm going to also try to draw James out to some events because I know that he really wants to go, he just needs someone there with him.

 I wanted to jump into some gay themed moments during this month, I noticed that eleven or twelve years ago, I was living a lot more gay-ish than I am now (lol). I feel this way when I'm looking back at past posts. I think that I'm back sliding and need to change that.

The following clip has been around for a while but I love it. I snicker while I'm watching it, I think it's cute, enjoy.

 Be fabulous people! :D

Saturday, June 1, 2019

Before and After.

 Again today I was doing some gardening and cutting my HUUUGE lawn. I had to come in early this evening because of the bugs, they were really biting... ouch! Speaking of bugs, it's officially bug season when you swallow your first black fly of the year. It's not a matter of "if" you swallow one, it's "when". Two days ago I inhaled my first fly of the year, it appears that 2019 seems to be a dry bug year, unlike the fat juicy ones of 2018, causing this year's bugs to be a lot less flavorful.

 Also as I write this, it sounds like hail hitting the bedroom windows; however it's not hail, it's the giant June bugs that are trying to get to the lights. These things are large compared to our other bugs and make a terrible crunching sound when you step on them. Hope nobody reads this over breakfast... lol.

 Anyway, I was thinking about a post I wrote a little while back, regarding how it can feel almost like two different planets when you are in a winter that never seems to want to end, versus a beautiful summer day.

The following photo I took a week ago, it was after I cut the lawn, ahhh nice green grass. Plus it is still bright out at nine in the evening and the days are still going to get longer.
 Compare this photo of a beautiful sunny day that makes a person cheerful inside. To the next one I had taken a month before the picture above.

 Same spot, different world... or at least it feels like that. It's hard to believe when you are surrounded by ice and snow that a better time is coming, just hold on. Also winter overstayed its welcome this year, usually by the end of April the fields are clear of snow. The sad thing about this part of the world is we only have three months left, yikes I better get out earlier tomorrow to get the full value of my summer days.

 Speaking of gardening, my marijuana plant is doing great, hey it's legal now in Canada. No I'm just kidding, that plant is a penises, oops I meant pianist, a pee on, a peonies. Even Kitty left over that joke, I get no respect around here!