Friday, July 29, 2016
You stopped looking at me, I don't know if there is anything there but it made my day to catch you glancing at me. Then you stopped looking and I was crushed, ok maybe not crushed but definitely disappointed. This week I tried to be hot-er, ok maybe not hot but definitely not troll-ish, at least I don't think I'm in the troll family. Any who I thought I saw you look yesterday but I wasn't sure, so a little spark for me to feel weather it was my imagination or not, today however I saw you stare at me.... twice, tooooootally made my day, and I would just so sh#t my pants and faint if you ever came over and talked to me. Well.... that certainly would be a lasting first impression.
Monday, July 25, 2016
That I would walk inside the house, toss my car keys onto the counter and say jokingly, "hi honey I'm home" and someone would answer, "I'm in the living room". I walk in, bend over to kiss him hello, we would ask each other how our day went, I would crash on the couch tightly beside him and cuddle for a few minutes, mindlessly watching something on t.v. before we start supper. That's me, not some fantasy about being stuck on an island with a randy hockey team wanting to use me to take the edge off (ok let me think about that one for a second), I daydream about being a husband to someone.
Thursday, July 14, 2016
I wish I didn't inherit the stereotypical "gay klutz in sports gene" but sadly I did. Sure I tried to play sports but I never improved, I was mostly the worst player in every sport, just slightly ahead of the girl who didn't want dirt to touch her or the guy who haunted the library at lunch. I missed out on that bonding moment (ok and all those team showers to). It is still happening today, many people at work like to hang out with coworkers after hours and on weekends, but they are on teams or play golf etc. None of these I can do and I don't enjoy sports as it makes me feel awkward as if back in school. It's a way for people to connect, a shared common goal but sadly the only thing that I can catch is a cold. I'm not really going anywhere with this post, just a complaint but I guess that's life.
Thursday, July 7, 2016
Lying in bed Wednesday morning, thinking to myself (which is always dangerous), I was going over the post I wrote about being alone. I was having a poor little me day that day however I was having an analyzing day Wednesday. The truth is being alone is my fault, a knight in shining armour is not going to come for me, (just maybe men in lab coats), how would he even know I am looking. I concluded that I am not putting out, oh umm sorry, I mean I am not putting myself out there, as in actively looking for a boyfriend. Yup that's the answer and it's the truth, I can't really whine about being alone if I do nothing and worse..... I don't let people know that I am g, ggg-eh, gaaaay. Ok problem solved, I will start doing something about this... next week, oh but then I'm kind of busy this week, the week after I have that thing to attend to, then you know it's the end of the month blah, blah, blah.
Friday, July 1, 2016
It's not about the sea of red and white flags, it's not about the barbecues or fireworks, it's not about hockey, maple syrup or beavers. It's about taking a moment to look at the rest of the world, see how most people live and think to myself, as far as being born into a country, "man oh man did I ever hit the lottery on that point"!