Friday, September 23, 2016
I was watching a program last week and it was about life in the early days, how everything was done by actual horse power, water power and lots of elbow grease. They were demonstrating the skills required to build a wagon wheel, one that would last and not act like the one floppy, squeaky wheel I manage to always get on my shopping cart. I was thinking about the way a master builder would feel when he realized that cars were taking over and wagons would soon be a thing of the past. I guess that's what happened to the gay blogs, ten years ago I think was the heyday for gay blogs. I guess times have changed enough in a positive way that the gay blog is no longer required. I should be happy about that but I do miss the community that was created by the need. It's so different now for people coming out, not that big of a deal anymore. I see the last group that is still active is the men who fall into the bisexual category. I have a lot of empathy for them, caught in between two worlds, many are struggling to figure out where they fit in. I see them looking for support the way I did years ago. I can't really offer them any advice, it's not my experience and seriously what do I know, I'm just a wagon wheel.
Thursday, September 8, 2016
The other day I was listening to the radio and one of the reporters was talking about an interview he did with gay comedian and actor Scott Thompson, it was regarding a show he was doing in Ottawa for pride week. Scott was saying how he now just does a routine and doesn't do his past gay characters. He said it's because in the past people were willing to accept the gay characters for a laugh but were not comfortable accepting a real gay person. He said now however people don't care about gay or straight and he no longer needs the safety net of a gay character to hide behind. He can just be himself, a gay comedian. The younger people don't see that shift, but it catches me every now and again, I like to pause and think about how far we have come. Sometimes I have to take a second, I think back to when I was a teenager and would just dream of a world where gay people could just be themselves one day. I'm seeing that happening now, it's hard not to wish I was younger to be part of this but maybe I wouldn't appreciate it as much. So here's to another shift in society, where we can just be we, because most people want it that way, awesome!
Sunday, September 4, 2016
This weekend I was putting together a small photo album for mom, it helps keep her mind active and gives her a sense of familiarity as opposed to all the newness that surrounds her now. As I was choosing pictures, looking at all our photos taken over the years suddenly brought me to tears. So much has changed since those happy days of birthdays, Christmases, vacations, new puppy etc, etc. I can't help but feel anger over the hand life dealt my parents, I see the history of them together over the years in the photos and think about what a rotten ending they will have. My parents were never famous, they didn't become a mayor of a city, a star athlete or head of a corporation, but they were decent people. They did their best with what they had like many others. Very decent people, they followed a code in life to be honest, to work hard and pay their way. To not take advantage of others, to mind their own business, to be religious but never put their beliefs on others, to encourage us to be decent as well. Then what did they get, no retirement, no traveling, no growing old together becoming one of those cute couples people point out and joke about that being themselves one day. I miss them, even mom is not really mom, she is only a shadow or echo of mom, and not even that one day soon. Anger inside every day, every day and sadness too and a different kind of loneliness, one too complex to explain tonight. I can't believe it at times when I'm sitting here alone in their house, where are they, where are they, everything is waiting for them, they should be home. This weekend would be their wedding anniversary, they would sometimes go away for the weekend to listen to music at a festival. That's where they are, I will pretend that for tonight, they will come home tomorrow, everything will be fine again, that's what I will hold for tonight.