Friday, February 24, 2017
If only everyone else found me as funny as I find myself funny, the world would be a happier place. I found myself in the local drug store picking up a prescription and while I was waiting decided to look around and get a few odds and ends. I saw something that started to make me laugh. There was a sale on for Magnum condoms XL, a really good sale at that, the thought came into my head that I should buy a couple of boxes just for the fun of standing in line holding some boxes of extra large size condoms, maybe even say out loud to someone "these are the really big ones right"? Add to that, maybe pick up some of the more bizarre types of lube or the biggest bottle on the shelf. What I would do with them when I got home I am not sure, I guess I would have really large size water balloons. ............................................. I was feeling sorry for the women in the area because obviously if they are having a sale on these, it's because they are not selling, which of course means the men in the area have no use for extra large condoms, so..... Turns out I read later on, that these are actually a good seller. It seems that many men had my idea and buy them as a form of bragging, also it seems that it's a marketing ploy, apparently the XL condom is not that much bigger than the usual kind and many men prefer to use Magnums instead. Anyway the only pleasure I got out of them was a snicker or two.
Wednesday, February 22, 2017
One of my worries in life was that I would never know what being in love felt like, real love, not just an infatuation. I remember the first guy I went out with, he was cute enough, brilliant, successful, and we had a lot of the same interests,(wait why did I let him get away) but there seemed to be something missing. I remember asking people how did someone know if they are in love. I think if you are asking that question, you already know what the answer is but are to afraid to admit it. ............................................ When I met my last boyfriend, I didn't have to ask that question, it was completely different, even though it eventually didn't work out, I really loved him, would never want to erase that part of my life and I still have feelings for him in some way. I would like to get back to that type of relationship, that's a life experience everyone should have, being in love with someone. ............................................ I would like my own version of something that happened to a couple of friends of mine, come true for me, and I have even dreamt a version or two of the following. ............................................ I am on a date with someone I love, we have been seeing each other for some time. He seems distracted over dinner but says everything is fine. After dinner we go for a walk, somewhere relaxing, in a park, maybe along a quiet river. We talk about mundane things, suddenly I realize he is not beside me and I turn to see what is wrong. He is tying his shoe or suffering a leg cramp and as I walk back to see what is wrong, he looks up at me and holds out a little box with a ring in it, he is on one knee. There is a rushing sound in my ears as the realization of what is happening sinks in. ................................................. I know, I know, that is just so sappy but I would love it if that happened to me. Trust me, I can hear the groans but I love a bit of romance. That has happened to some of my straight friends, I even remember laughing over one woman thought her boyfriend at the time was trying to work out a leg cramp because he was bending down, then finally understood what he was doing. I am not into drama but a little in a positive way would be nice.
Saturday, February 18, 2017
It's interesting to me to see how younger gay people live life. In Canada, many of the twenty somethings have been raised in an atmosphere of acceptance. They truly feel a part of society and see no distinction between themselves and heterosexual people, I am envious of this view point. They do not accept discrimination and are genuinely surprised whenever it presents itself, even better is their response to it, an immediate push back. ............................................. Being from an older generation, my world view is different and sometimes I feel of two minds about issues. Take for instance an indecent that happened last week. A young gay couple were making wedding plans, which on a side note still amazes me to write, "gay wedding plans". Anyhow back on track, this young couple were making wedding plans and the photographer upon finding out it was for two men, sent them an email stating that they would not take the job due to their religious beliefs. ............................................. I at first felt it was the photographer's right to turn down the job. The email was polite, I felt at least they were being honest and I know religion is something that people hold close to the very core of their being. I feel it's a little scary to start interfering with someone's religious beliefs. I also think this type of person is probably not that flexible and it would only make things worse by making them feel something was being forced on them. ............................................ Then there is the other side, I feel that holding this view, I am betraying the gay family, wimping out so to speak, not standing up for myself. I'm agreeing with trying to appease someone who doesn't deserve it. I am tolerating their intolerance towards people like me. A person could see how wrong this is when the word "gay" is taken out and another group is used in its place. "We're sorry but due to our beliefs we don't serve Asians, Jewish people, women etc". Sounds clear enough when changed around this way, although many religions do have rules about the role of women and we don't start enforcing secular laws on them. I heard an interesting interview with a lawyer who handles these types of cases in Canada. He said people have the right to hold an opinion or belief about certain groups but if they have a company that serves the public, they can't use those belief to discriminate against that particular group. I find it interesting that everyone becomes so religious when dealing with the Lgbt community. ............................................. If only these people could see the positive side to gay marriage, it's not an assault on marriage, it's an affirmation of marriage. Gay people (like me) see what their parents and grandparents had and they want that for themselves as well. The only difference is we have to have it in our own version of a relationship, a same-sex couple because that's who we are, we are not damaged straight people waiting to be fixed, we are gay people. It's a shame that these people can't see we actually want the same thing. Leaves me wondering what is the right thing to do, hope they come around? The problem with that is history shows the people who stay quiet and try to gently make changes usually get no where, it usually takes the loud, flashy, in your face moments to make real changes.
Friday, February 3, 2017
For a while now I have found myself surrounded by sadness, there comes a point where it takes over. I guess I have reached a point in my life where most things seem to be an ending of some sort. People and places important to me no longer exist and it's all because of time passing. Luckily I have a good neighbour, she looks out for me, she constantly says "remember this too shall pass" whenever a disaster appears to be heading towards me. I didn't want to be one of those bloggers who's posts give you that constant feeling of a rain cloud showering over your head as you read it, so I stayed quiet. No point in complaining, its just life, there is nothing I can do about most things that are weighing on me. One day there comes a time when you have to accept the fact that when a door closes, it stays closed, there is no window, there isn't always a happy ending. ....................................... The fog is lifting for me, the clouds are breaking, I am tired of feeling sad, the days are getting longer, spring is coming. I was telling my neighbour I need to make changes now, this house no longer feels like home, more like a museum to Mom and Dad. Every drawer, cupboard, box or door I open sends me back to some memory of years ago but now it feels more like opening a wound because after the rush of happiness, comes the reality that I am alone now. This I think most people would agree is probably not that healthy. I am bracing myself to begin to say goodbye to everything that was a part of my life journey, but I'm ready now... almost... sort of.... I think.