Saturday, May 18, 2019
Men of ALL Types.
I consider myself lucky in that I find many different types of men attractive. All over the scales of feminine to masculine to race to age to frame size. It's not something that I pretend in order to sound politically correct, it just happens when I see an attractive man and think to myself, "well hello there handsome", and then I quietly check him out. I like that about my sexuality, I allow myself to enjoy it.
I am often surprised by the way many gay men limit themselves. I'm not surprised by the prejudice towards a man's age and looks, unfortunately that seems to be common, I am surprised by the racism that seems to also be common in the gay community, especially in large cities. It's too bad actually because they are missing out.
I was thinking about this because of two guys that pressed my buttons yesterday in a sexual way. I think having that sudden arousal feeling is enjoyable and is one of the perks in life, almost like the high we get from seeing a perfect sunset or gorgeous work of art in a gallery but at the same time very different from those feelings, it's raw desire.
The first happened early in the day at my bank. While waiting in line there was a young man at the teller in front of me. He was about twenty eight and holy-old-moly... was he ever freaking hot. Clearly he was probably an athlete of some sort because he was in nice shape, not a gymbot, just naturally in good shape. He was African Canadian decent and was just dripping with male sexuality, every muscular curve was in the exact right location in my mind. He was one of those guys that sends a gay man's sexuality into overdrive, you just feel your desire to be with him in every part of your body. I sometimes wonder if as a gay man I'm picking up some kind of sex pheromones from guys like this in their prime. The way he carried himself, the confident but polite way he spoke to the teller had me in dream land. The building suddenly felt empty when he left and I felt I needed to sit down until my knees turned back from trembling mush.
The second time it happened was later in the day, I was driving and had to stop for construction. Two young men were jogging towards me wearing only t-shirts and shorts. Again they were in nice shape, one man in particular was really attractive, he had a less polished handsome appearance to him, a rugby player type of body. Like me I could see he was a ginger but more of a reddish blond. As he approached however I saw that he also was a man of special needs, he had a slight look of a person with down syndrome or something along those lines. I felt ashamed of myself for being sexually attracted to this man and quickly looked away; however then I gave myself permission to look again. Here was a man, he is attractive, he is taking the time to stay in shape and look attractive, I felt there was nothing wrong with enjoying his efforts and looking at him like I would look at any other attractive man.
These were two moments of appreciating life that I would have missed out on if my outlook was narrow. I'm not perfect, I'm always catching myself and trying to make better choices but I think if I'm "trying" then at least that is progressing but most of all it pays off by creating positive moments.