Monday, September 30, 2019
What's the secret code?
I sometimes wonder if there is a hidden code when it comes to meeting people on line. Like fishing rods setup and left in the water, I do leave my profile up as bait, well I am trying to catch me a man, lol. I have made a couple of friends online over the years but as far as actually meeting that special someone, I have given up hope regarding online. I feel Debra is correct in that I will meet someone through a club etc.
Every now and then, I get a message that seems authentic, as opposed to a caveman online version of a mating grunt. The message will say something friendly or positive like, "hi there, I liked your profile, would you be interested in grabbing a coffee or a drink sometime?" Happy at the prospect of making a new friend, boyfriend, friend with benefits or whatever, I reply back with something like, "hello back, I liked your profile as well, coffee sounds great, let me know what day works for you and where?"
Then I wait... then I wait... then I wait... nothing... crickets. Sometimes I send a little reminder but in a polite way like, "Pierre's cafe has some of the best coffee in the city". Then I wait... then I wait... then I wait.... nothing. By the third day I know that they are never going to answer. Some sites I can see they have been on since we last spoke and they are purposely avoiding me.
I don't get it, is there a hidden code that I don't know about? Have I said the wrong thing? Is there a secret language I'm supposed to be using, Gayanese? Homoslavia? Please tell me because I'm confused.. as this has happened four times to me in the last week. Maybe when they say let's go for coffee, I'm supposed to answer with, "okay sure, let's handcuff each other in a bathtub of green jello while wearing leather harnesses"! I expect these responses from the profiles that seem a little too direct and slightly cold but it's surprising (and slightly hurtful) from the ones that seem thoughtful and well written. I'm starting to think one of the responses I am supposed to give is, "no, please don't confuse me, I'm a straight guy" that seems to get their interest.
Password? Code? Hidden meaning? I don't know, it just seems that I'm answering in english but it must get translated somehow into "run away from this guy"!
Posted by Sooo-this-is-me at 9:13 PM
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I'd say just put out your "coffee" suggestion and if they don't respond in a timely fashion, clearly, for them, "coffee" means something different.
I never did code; I said what I wanted and did what I wanted and if the response was the one I wanted, then everything was fine. I just liked honesty.
Say you like me, say you like my profile, say you wanna f**k, but don't play this "coffee" bull shiz.
And .... rant over.
I agree with Bob. I have actually met men online with whom I’ve had meaningful, long term relationships, so I can’t say it didn’t work. But yes, you’ve got to kiss a few frogs.
As for code, I don’t think there’s one. Some men are just flaky and you’ve dodged the bullet.
The code is to send them pictures of Cali-boi and/or Maddie on the beach and make them think that is you. That works well up until the coffee date.
I know absolutely nothing about this kind of thing. It seems too fast moving to me, or waiting for a serial killer. I feel the same about uber and such. What can I say? I'm a relic.
Just the reason I'm not on any of these apps or sites. I don't have my time to waste.
And if I did, and got that treatment of which you speak, they'd get one hell of a frigid read right back. Can you say the library is open for a good read ?!?!?!
I also hear that it is popular to send people pictures of your cocks.
Honestly, why are you asking us? The ones of us here who get laid don't use the apps, and the rest of us just sit at home alone and unloved. I think the only one of us around here who admits to using an app is Walter, and he has forsaken the apps (and maybe us) out of disgust.
Don't leave it open to them. Give them a specific time and place (preferably one you'd have chosen anyway for yourself), and if they don't reply, then it's their loss. I wouldn't worry about why they're weird enough to waste time that way, and certainly wouldn't imagine there's some secret you're not party to. There may be all sorts of possible reasons why people do that sort of thing, but the one thing they all have in common is a lack of basic courtesy, so you're well off out of it anyway.
And you can block their profile.
No, I'm wrong. Maybe RJ (the dear!) said he uses the apps? Maybe Michael54 (also the dear!) met Other Michael that way too?
I don't understand this behavior. A guy expresses interest and then doesn't reply. I've mostly given up on the online apps. I have a profile up and that's about it.
No hidden code, no password, it is the Internet, however, where people do things on a whim, or the spur of a moment, and then find something more interesting to do. I suspect most of these people are Conservatives who don't have the Cajones to follow through.
I don't understand the behavior either. Maybe what Dave said is true...they really don't have the guts to follow through. All bravado through words....
Bob, you would think at least the guys asking to meet for a coffee or drink would be the normal ones, my mistake I guess lol.
Sixpence, lately it seems to be all frog and no Prince.. :(
Lurker, umm I would never do such a thing, why what have you heard, it's all lies, lies, LIES!
Deedles, no sweetie you're not a relic, a priceless antique definitely but not a relic! :D
Maddie, I am so tempted to put a blast on my comment page but it would just make me look bitter.
Lurker, I have sent guys pictures of my favorite roosters but no matter what you hear, it didn't seem to work.
Your second part was I'm afraid, on target.
Autolycus, I do realize that I'm better off not meeting those guys, it's just that momentary disappointed feeling of realizing you haven't found a new friend, just another jerk.
OL, you again? Okay remember boundaries and obsessive behavior and blah blah blah kidding.
Richard, I know, how strange right? I had given up, now I'm giving up again. Jerks!
Dave, I think you hit the nail on the head, it's the internet.
Michael, I just don't get it though, I am never pushy. Maybe they just need to feel like they still attract guys.
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