Sunday, September 22, 2019
Good to the last.. aaah!
Customer: Waiter! What is this fly doing in my soup?
Waiter: It appears to be doing the backstroke sir.
Baah dump dum!
Customer: Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Shhhh Madame. Keep it down!
Customer: Well in about three seconds I don't think I will be keeping anything down!
The past week as I said yesterday, has been perfect weather wise. Sunny, warm but no humidity, slightly warmer than normal but not way above normal, just beautiful. One draw back of the warmer weather for this area however, is a little pest called cluster flies. They look identical to a house fly but in the fall they seek a warm place to hide out for the winter. This year had been okay fly wise. It turned cold at the end of August so they were caught off guard. The problem when it turns sunny and warm again is that they realize time is running out and that wherever they hid before isn't probably good enough for winter. This causes them to come by the hundreds to get into your house by any means. It's practically impossible to stop them, you just have to prepare for battle.
Once inside they tend to crawl into everything. This morning just as I was finishing enjoying my cup of coffee, I felt something in my mouth. Yes.. it was.. a fly. Ugh, gag, blah, yuck, ick, yuck, gross, I'm going to be sick. I don't know how that happened because I made my coffee and started drinking it. Either it crawled into the kettle and I was drinking boiled coffee flavored fly soup or it dived in when I turned my back to put the milk in the fridge. Let me just say that a large drowned fly in your mouth... feels exactly like you would imagine it feels.
The result of this is I can't eat today. Everything makes me want to gag, I used a lot of mouth wash but it's no use, I imagine all the little fly hairs that I swallowed, maybe even a leg... or two. Trying to eat my cereal, I kept having to check for raisons that shouldn't be in there. I'm pulling out the sticky fly paper, die you filthy little bug-gers die!
Posted by Sooo-this-is-me at 12:08 PM
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Just a little extra protein, hon :)
Gargle, baby, gargle.
I'd go for about an hour, with brushing in between,
Then I would secretly hunt down ever fly in the house and pull the wings off the mother--
I should control my rage,
With my usual good taste and decorum I will leave a great deal unsaid.
Our problem here is wasp. Suddenly there have been swarms of the little fuckers and if I get bitten there is a problem. Not a serious grab the epipen problem but a boy am I going to swell some! It was so bad the restaurant across the street had to close their outside eating area. Ya gotta love Mom Nature.
That happened to me once, I spit it and the word "shit" out at the same time. When I'm home and the weather is nice, I'll leave both the front and back door open - no screen doors. I'm had all sorts of things come into my house, included birds. Let me tell you, they're a treat.
This is an excellent diet plan. You should write a book.
On the other hand, if flies are hanging out around your mouth maybe you should confirm that you are brushing and flossing appropriately.
Deedles then I'm going vegan!
:p blah blah spit spit!
Bob, no you must bottle that rage, shove it deep, deep down until it almost explodes, then I bring you here and unleash it! Lol
Will, wasps and hornets also try to get in but not as many. I was stung twice while trying to paint a shed door on Thursday, they are attracted to the heat of the buildings. I shall get my revenge, I always seek revenge! [Insert evil laugh here]
Dave, I could never do that here, the insects alone would be overwhelming, not to mention skunks feel invincible and would just stroll on in.
Old Lurker, maybe it's a giant fruit fly?
I detest flies. They are not so much insects as pestilence on legs.
Vegan? Blurgh! I think I'd rather eat a coffee flavored fly. Easier to swallow with no chewing. Boiling hot water (for coffee) should sanitized the little critter :)
Dr Spo, yes I agree, they are in a class of their own! Now where's that fly swatter?
Deedles, flies get eaten by toads, spiders and lizards, do you want me to end up looking like any of these? Hahaha! :D
Richard, well said! Lol
Steve, it's what's on the inside that counts! So what if it's flies! Just playing witcha kiddo. I really can't stand the buzzing bastids.
I have a good gag reflex. But let’s not go there...
I was in Spain a few years ago and a fly flew down my throat and landed on that fleshy bit right at the bottom of the throat and got stuck so I ended up swallowing it. You have my sympathies.
Can I interest you in a fly latte?
Deedles, I know you are kidding, that's why I didn't say "buzz off" oooh groannn, bad joke, not very punny I know! :p
JP, we should start a discussion group to work through the trauma of it! Yuck!
Maddie, for once maybe I will go with the pumpkin spice instead.
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