Tuesday, September 3, 2019
The wheels on the bus go...
I heard the school buses running again this morning, a teensy weensy part of me said, "whew, I don't have to go". I hated school and as an awkward, extra small, red headed gay kid, I really really hated school. It's a significant number for me this year, a year with a nine, as in 2019. I remember when I first started high school back in 99, we didn't have cell phones or the internet.. oh wait.. no I didn't start in 99, must have been 89. I remember when I started back in 89, we didn't have laptops or iPads to do our homework, we didn't even have DVD players to watch movies yet. Also we had to.. oh wait, who am I kidding, as much as it pains me to say this, I started high school in 1979, oh mother of pearl, how did this happen. Computers.. heck we didn't even have VCRs or walkmans yet! Elton John was straight, Madonna was still a virgin and Michael Jackson was still black! We didn't have junior high so grade seven was high school for me.
I don't remember much about that first day, I know we were afraid of the older kids. There was a hazing ritual for new students. It certainly was a change from before, with our elementary teachers planning every step we had to make. I remember liking boys but I wasn't gay in my eyes. It's just that my man feelings hadn't kicked in yet, I had let myself think about being with my friends and must have gotten addicted to the day dreams, (gay dreams). I just needed to get them (my attractions) under control and I would be alright in a few months, even find a girlfriend maybe to hang out with at dances.
That first day must have been alright because I have no memory of it. I was probably already doing homework, getting myself ready for the following day at this time (7:15 p.m.) I wasn't happy about entering high school though, I always knew getting older sucked. I was the opposite of all my friends, I wanted to be a kid forever, I never wanted to grow up. It's funny to think about all those years ago, starting on my first steps towards being an adult. High school seemed like an eternity and yet now all these years later, we can see it was just a blip in time. I certainly never thought I would be back home, alone writing about it forty years later.