Sunday, September 22, 2019
Good to the last.. aaah!
Customer: Waiter! What is this fly doing in my soup?
Waiter: It appears to be doing the backstroke sir.
Baah dump dum!
Customer: Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Shhhh Madame. Keep it down!
Customer: Well in about three seconds I don't think I will be keeping anything down!
The past week as I said yesterday, has been perfect weather wise. Sunny, warm but no humidity, slightly warmer than normal but not way above normal, just beautiful. One draw back of the warmer weather for this area however, is a little pest called cluster flies. They look identical to a house fly but in the fall they seek a warm place to hide out for the winter. This year had been okay fly wise. It turned cold at the end of August so they were caught off guard. The problem when it turns sunny and warm again is that they realize time is running out and that wherever they hid before isn't probably good enough for winter. This causes them to come by the hundreds to get into your house by any means. It's practically impossible to stop them, you just have to prepare for battle.
Once inside they tend to crawl into everything. This morning just as I was finishing enjoying my cup of coffee, I felt something in my mouth. Yes.. it was.. a fly. Ugh, gag, blah, yuck, ick, yuck, gross, I'm going to be sick. I don't know how that happened because I made my coffee and started drinking it. Either it crawled into the kettle and I was drinking boiled coffee flavored fly soup or it dived in when I turned my back to put the milk in the fridge. Let me just say that a large drowned fly in your mouth... feels exactly like you would imagine it feels.
The result of this is I can't eat today. Everything makes me want to gag, I used a lot of mouth wash but it's no use, I imagine all the little fly hairs that I swallowed, maybe even a leg... or two. Trying to eat my cereal, I kept having to check for raisons that shouldn't be in there. I'm pulling out the sticky fly paper, die you filthy little bug-gers die!