Sunday, August 5, 2018

Wardrobe male-function!

 The term wardrobe malfunction is a term most often associated with women and things that go wrong while wearing the latest styles. There are some malfunctions for guys as well and here is a warning for my bros. This will be a little gross so ladies you can talk amongst yourselves, you've been warned.

 Wardrobe malfunction was a phrase that popped up when Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson didn't have the balls to admit to their little stunt during a family viewing football game. The sex fearing American audience was subjected to a breast, many were so traumatized that they couldn't masturbate to porn that evening or clean their guns. The cool Americans (that's the ones reading this) said "meh a boob".

  I had posted about switching to boxers as I find most underwear gives me a wedgie! I guess it's an age thing, I also suspect the seat of my car that I bought two years ago, I use a pillow now. Some nights I have been tempted to pull over, take my pants off and just drive home in my underwear, no I'm not joking.

 Having gotten used to wearing my boxers, I find I wear them more and more often. One day while at home, I was wearing shorts because of the heat. I was playing around on the internet and of course I started looking at hot guys which really aroused me. Now some guys, (me being one), will umm, umm really leak? That's a good word, I "leak" a lot, I mean "a lot"!

 Suddenly there was a car in the yard, it was some friends stopping in for a visit, I was excited to see them (no pun intended) and asked them in for coffee and snacks. While I was getting ready to make the coffee, I felt something wet touch my leg, I thought I must have spilled water on my leg. When I looked down, (remember I'm in shorts) there were long strings of pre-cum stretching down my leg (hey I warned you) from under my shorts to my knee, to my ankle. Shiny and glistening for all the world to see!

 Horrified I looked at my guests who were taking off their jackets and pulling out their chairs, I snapped away before they saw anything, excused myself because "my nose" was running and went to clean up, then grab a pair of pants. Nobody warns you about these things! I went back to my boxer-briefs, I don't normally wear shorts in public but I was thinking about how embarrassing it would feel if that happened in the middle of a mall or out at a restaurant or worse, a family gathering.

 Boxers or briefs, well men you have been warned!


rjjs8878 said...

That is too funny. Does the same thing happen when you read erotic stories?

Deedles said...

First of all, it wasn't the boob that traumatized the American people. It was the all powerful, formidable, never to be seen in public, almighty female nipple! Put a Band-Aid on that sucker and you can show everything else.

Secondly, if push came to shove, you could've told your guests that you had been stroking your pet snail, and it escaped down your leg because of being shy around others. Keep that in mind for next time.

Like Anne Marie, I go commando around the house. Every now and then, if I get up too fast, dust comes flying out. I have to use artificial leakage.

I love the way you write, Steven. The mental picture had me laughing out loud (I refuse to use lol).

John Going Gently said...

Go commando ! It's freeing

Ur-spo said...

I wear boxers nearly all the time. This is a hazard indeed especially if the gentleman is well endowed or wearing daisy-dukes. However, any other type of undergarment makes me feel corseted. So this is a risk I am willing to take.

Mistress Maddie said...

I don't know how men wear boxers. I find them to damn baggy under clothes. I only wear briefs or boxer brief trunks. Or go commando. At home though it's always underwear or just naked...then I can just jump in bed!!!!

So....once married should I bring with me lots of towels and tissues?

Cali-Boi said...

I'm still visualizing the leaking....alot.Thats a turn on for me, give me a minute.

I go commando a lot, or nude.

JM said...

That is so hilarious!

Old Lurker said...

First of all, what were you doing looking at naughty pictures in the middle of the day? I thought you were keeping yourself pure for marriage.

Secondly, shorts are immodest and not appropriate housewear. Unlike Mistress Maddie's houseboys you have a good job and can afford to purchase pants. As you learned, you never know who might drop by, so be sure not to show off calves by wearing long pants or better yet a burqa.

Thirdly, it may be time for you to invest in some Mormon underpants.

"Tommy" said...

This is Good Reading.... I like the honesty.... forthrightness..... and the vision of the boxers.....

There are two Canadians living here in the Garden District..... I'm glad you are upfront and open more than they are... they are gay, one male one female, both partnered... and Not they are wait to Reserved..