Saturday, March 10, 2018

My Little Girl.

 I don't have any children and I really regret that but as a single gay man there was not much I could do about it. There have been children in my life and I try to be the fun uncle type, even though I have no nephews and nieces. Today I went to take my little girl out for a treat. I go to pick her up, she sees me and is waiting by the door before I even get up the steps. Right away she asks, "are we going somewhere"? I ask her if she wants to go for a drive and a treat at the donut shop. I already know the answer, she lights up and says "oooh yes I'd love that"! I get her to go to the washroom before we go because I know halfway there it will be "I need to go to the bathroom".

 We get there and I pick a table, I ask her to stay put while I get our order. I keep my eye on her in case she decides to move or a stranger speaks to her. The line takes too long today, it makes me anxious but finally I have our order. I have to set up her food and drink for her, make sure she doesn't spill her drink on her clothes. I always get plenty of extra napkins, they will be needed. She asks me, "did you see mom today" I tell her no, she asks about her older brother, I say I have no clue what he is up to. She asks silly questions, I answer the best I can. I ask her if she did arts and crafts, she says no but I know she did. I ask her if she did games with her friends, again she says no but I know she did.

She enjoys her treat, that makes me feel good. Her fingers are all sticky and she has crumbs all down her front. I do my best dad imitation and help brush her off, I get her to wipe her fingers and we get ready to go. I'm careful crossing the parking lot back to the car, I worry she might get hit by some idiot not paying attention, I worry she might slip, fall and get soaked or hurt.

 We do some errands and then I take the shorter route back, she asks if we can go somewhere else but I tell her I am supposed to have her back by five, this makes her a little sad but she says nothing. We return and again I am pretending to be a dad, I help her with her coat buttons, hat, removing her boots and to put her shoes back on. I tell her I have to go and will see her soon, she goes into the living room to watch tv. As I walk down the steps I wave to her watching me through the living room window, she happily waves back. As I get into my car, I almost feel like crying and wonder why something like this could happen to you mom.


19 comments:

Mike said...

This took my breath away. You're a beautiful man, if I weren't already married and if I weren't afraid of wolves and Christmas lights....

Anonymous said...

She will remember these outings for the rest of her life. You are a good man.

John Going Gently said...

Thank you for this.........

Old Lurker said...

:(

First of all, you are a good son. You are doing your little girl a solid regardless of what she remembers about this tomorrow.

Secondly, this is publication-worthy (although it would be nice to fix that typo in your last sentence). At times like these I wish I had ten thousand followers so I could make this go viral.

Thirdly, it's not fair at all. I feel like crying, too.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Mike, thank you. Don't worry, wolves usually don't bother people, putting up Christmas lights is much more dangerous, especially when they stop working once up!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

RJ, thank you.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

John, there are so many people going through the same thing now, it's unsettling.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Mr Lurker, nothing can ruin the flow of a post like a well placed typo! Oh for Pete's sake, thank you so much, sometimes my eyes see what my brain wants instead of what is actually there.
Your compliments are very kind; however I like our little group, I'm fine with my five or six readers.

Raven~ said...

I hope you're including me in that count of readers. Perhaps I make seven readers?
Seven is a lovely, sacred, number. And this post is a parable for our times

Mistress Maddie said...

I have to agree too, what a great post to read today, and always a nice thing to read when a child is caring for their parent. Like you, my mother and I are very close, friends even. She will be 70, and is still a spit fire. Think Debbie Novotny on Queer as Folk! The things she says and does. And she is fit as a fiddle. My father on the other hand was a bastard. At the funeral, my mother all but slammed the coffin lid and said throw the corpse in the ground. Luckily we mended our fences and in the end I was as good a son as could be. I very rarely show certain sides, but this post was a bit of a sweet story and tear jerker.

Willym said...

I am speechless and crying.. from the situation yes but more from the tenderness and love with which it is being met. You are a good and brave soul. As with Lurker I would like to share this on my blog but respect your privacy should you feel it best not to.

Hugs

Will

Ur-spo said...

I don't have any more to add that was not already said. Well done - and well written.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Raven, yes I will gladly count you in. It does seem that a lot of people are going through similar circumstances sadly.

Maddie, thank you. I'm glad you still have your mom and that she is sharp. Stay close to her, you never know what life will suddenly slap you in the face with.

Will, I am glad you liked the post, it was straight from the heart just after I returned from my visit, I think how I was feeling at the time came through. Yes you may repost if you like and you are even allowed to say the name Steven, just this time for the love of Mike, don't post my address, town, full name, phone number, post office box, height, eye colour, shoe size!!! Lol, sorry couldn't miss this opportunity to tease.

Dr Spo, but you just did add something! Thank you, I really appreciate the kind words, more than you know.

Willym said...

Aren't we missing a statistic there....

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Will, you can post 8, no one is going to see anyway so I will say 8 because that smaller size won't make others guys feel inadequate compared to my actual size.

Moving with Mitchell said...

I’m here thanks to Willym. So beautifully written. Although we’ve never met, I’m send you tremendous hugs.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Mitchell, thank you. I think unfortunately many people can relate.

Anonymous said...

This was beautifully written. Your words really touched me. Your are a good son.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Michael, thank you. Some days I feel like I'm in a nightmare and soon I will wake up and everything will be back to normal.