There is no benefit to worrying about something that may or may not happen. Sometimes that is easier said than done. I recently read a piece about a young man trying to find love in the city where I work. He spoke about the difficulty in finding someone and naturally it makes me reflect on my own situation. I don't want to be alone, I want to be with someone. I am not picky but he has to be decent, I have no intention of settling for someone just to have a boyfriend. After the last guy, I need to feel that I can trust the new person. I can't get hurt like that again, he really broke my heart, it was late in life but he was my first love. I had never felt that way about someone before, I would really love to find that feeling again, it's a part of the answer to that "meaning of life" question I feel.
I try not to get down about it but when I read other blogs and they are going through the same issues, it's troubling. Many of you are in big cities, many of you have much more interesting lives than I do and most of you have a much more active social life than I do. I can't help thinking, if these guys can't find love, what chance do I have. I don't need someone to go skydiving in Brazil with, I just want someone who hands me a cup of tea because he made himself some and gives me one, no questions asked because he loves me. I want that look, when someone loves you, there is a look that they give you, it's reserved for you and only you. Sometimes you will catch him staring at you in a crowded room, he will smile and you know what the look means, when he does it, at times you feel dizzy, sometimes like little shocks in your stomach or even like your legs will collapse from under you. When you have someone like this, things just feel whole and life feels lived to a fuller extent. Finding that person and being in love with that person is part of the answer to the meaning of life.