I have lived most of my life alone, I did for a while have a boyfriend when I was in my twenties. Even then we were not together very much, we were both in the closet and had room-mates so time alone was very rare. Now I have to get use to the idea of being part of a couple, to not always think only of myself. I am doing not bad at it with a few small mistakes. Dave has a good sense of humour, that is very important to me and we laugh a lot about things.
The thing I find hard now, and this is totally on the lighter side of life, is sleeping together. No I don't mean sex, I mean sleeping in the same bed. I am so used to sleeping alone, I have always slept alone. We go to bed, cuddle, kiss and hug which I like a lot. The thing is when I want to sleep, I need to sneak away from him or else I can't sleep. If he touches me I wake up, if he moves I wake up, if he talks in his sleep I wake up, if he is holding me too long, the heat from our bodies wakes me up. I am not getting enough sleep lately as either he is here at my place or I am staying over at his place. He can't stand being away from me, which I think is romantic and it feels good to be so wanted. He constantly wants to hug and hold me but that also happens at night. Even in his sleep he will reach out and pull me into an embrace. Yes it feels good, warm and loving but like I said, I can't sleep if he is touching me.
At night it is almost a funny dance, where I try to get away from him without hurting his feelings. I wait until I hear him fall asleep, then ever so gently try to slip away. I have to remove his arms and slide over without waking him. I think 'home free' until I hear him say 'what's wrong' then I say 'nothing', then he says 'come over here' and I begin with 'I am too hot' or 'your breathing in my ear keeps me awake' or 'your twitching is not letting me sleep'. Then he says things like 'awe but I love you' or 'I want you near me' or 'I need to hold you so I can sleep better' and that is just not fair, melting my heart makes it hard to say no. It ends up with me protesting as his long arms reach out and cuddle me into him, yeah it is not so bad but I am grumpy in the morning and really need a coffee (even though I don't drink coffee) to get my day going. Finally he is back asleep again, I slowly begin to slip away, mission accomplished, I drift off as he remains asleep, he stirs a bit but does not wake up, I close my eyes and suddenly feel two strong arms wrap around me and pull me into him, I give up and just enjoy the warmth of being together, as I am sure this honeymoon period will not last forever.
As for the tests we took on Tuesday, the full results will take three weeks so I will share those with you. I spoke to the doctor as I had a lot of questions. I took the test to show Dave I was telling the truth about my past. I know as of now I am okay. He believes me but I felt it only fair to show him the results. I asked the Doctor about Dave being celibate for five years and how that could relate to HIV. She told me some interesting stuff. She said it is very possible for someone to be HIV positive for five or more years and not show any outward signs. She also said it would not show up in a yearly check-up unless you asked your family doctor for an HIV test. She did say however that if a person was HIV positive for five or more years and showed no signs, it would show up on the HIV test, of course there can be exceptions but mostly it would show up by then. Like other have said, it would take at least three to six months to start to show up on a test if you became infected.