Saturday, February 16, 2019

Feeling Resentful.


 When I was younger I often didn't get involved in most activities around this area. I didn't hang out with "the crowd" I didn't play on any sports teams. The results are that I still don't get invited to most parties or fun activities to this day. I'm ok with that, I'm not a kid anymore, they just don't think of me when planning an event, it's not an exclusion on purpose. Plus I have some good friends around here and I enjoy my time with them. All is good, that is until...

 What does really bother me is when there is a really crappy job to be done... I'm the first person they think of, "Let's get Steve to help". There are not a lot of younger people around but the ones who are, don't have much community spirit, they don't volunteer for anything that doesn't benefit them personally. I got a message last night, "we are shoveling the snow off the church roof, we need you to be there for ten". I'm not twenty five anymore, I don't go to church and yet I'm expected to climb onto a slippery tin roof and shovel off snow, literally almost up to my waist. I try to avoid shoveling as much as possible here. They could have hired someone, it would be safer. I was too nice, I usually wouldn't say no but I have to think of myself these days.

 The same with other requests I get. I don't mind looking after friends places when they go away but if I haven't heard from someone in years and suddenly I get a call asking me to look after their place while they go south, are you kidding me? If sports teams use a facility and I'm asked to help clean it up... oh I see how it is, even though they are strong and healthy, they are too good to get their hands dirty or maybe that's not fun so we will ask Steve instead. Seriously, if people want the opportunity to use a church, park or whatever, they have to learn to support it. I can understand some of the problems, most people around here are my age or older, people stopped having children and what few kids there are, immediately go to the city when they are old enough. I am however not some misfit that you call only when there is unpleasant jobs to do, it's insulting. Well I have a new hobby and that is inventing new ways to say no!

19 comments:

Sixpence Notthewiser said...

Soooooo they don’t invite you to the fun stuff going on but they do remember your number when there’s snow to be shoveled off a churche’s ROOF?
Sorry but no. That’s just rude. I understand it’s not a popularity contest, but I agree with you: new ways to say ‘thank you, next’ are in order.

XoXo

krayolakris said...

When you say no, remind them that it’s in their best interest not to use someone who might have an accident and get hurt (thereby needing to sue for medical costs and damages).

Bob said...

"Sorry, but I do attend this church. Perhaps you should call your congregants."

Or ...

"Let's do my roof and sidewalk and driveway first and then i'll be glad to help."

Or ...

"Not today, Satan."

Old Lurker said...

Somebody has a case of the Mondays!

Nobody invites ME to shovel church roofs or clean out sports stadiums. I guess you are just a popular guy.

I think it is admirable that you help out with these kinds of cleanups. I understand that it feels bad to be taken advantage of, but maybe that is the side of the equation to focus on?

Debra She Who Seeks said...

You're absolutely right -- the cure for resentment is to simply say "No, I'm not available right now." LOL @ Bob!

Leanna said...

Debra said it. Just say no. Tell them to hire someone. You don't have to do anything you don't feel like doing. Just say nope, hell no, not without a note. Stop letting them take advantage of you.

John Going Gently said...

No with a smile .......

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Sixpence, yes it seems anyone who starts thinking about something not fun, my name pops into their head... lol.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Krayolalris, hello! I was actually thinking along those lines, if I got hurt they are not going to support me while I'm off work! Plus they would be so made if I went after their insurance.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Bob, lol someone good suggestions. Trouble with number one is the congregation is mostly elderly women. I love number two and number three actually doesn't apply, the people who ask are generally the people who end up doing all the work themselves and are good people, that's why it's hard to say no sometimes.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Old Lurker, awwwe I feel bad for you, want to shovel snow from my roof? I agree, I am working on not being taken advantage of... well unless it's the fun kind with a hot guy in undies but that happening to me is about the same as happening to you so... ;p

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Debra, just say no to drugs... umm I mean chores!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Leanna, I didn't go, I have enough of my own chores to do.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

John, can I show them some teeth? Grrrr!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Anne Marie, going forward I think I will try your suggestion of "no" at first, if they insist then I will try one of the others or maybe all of them! :D hahaha!

Richard said...

Tell them you're recovering from food poisoning and you're not back to 100%.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Richard, you want me to lie to church people!!! Lol

Ur-spo said...

Ann Marie is closest to the best: saying "no thank you " without detail or explanations is quite enough and saves breath.
Sometimes this needs to be repeated without the thank you.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Dr Spo, I started to say no, people are not going to like it but to bad.