Sunday, February 17, 2019
Gay guy, straight guy.
I remember a time when people used to criticize gay men for being too over sexed, too promiscuous, having too many partners. Straight men were considered to be more monogamous by nature... baloney! I remember thinking that certainly doesn't apply to me. I'm not judging anyone, I just hated when people thought every gay person was exactly the same. I recall some women saying that straight men would be just like gay men, only that women don't let them, lol.
On Friday, I was working late and saw something that may be totally innocent or may be something not so innocent. A man was about to leave, he didn't seem to notice I was still working. From my position I could see his computer screen clearly. He clicked on a site and a bunch of profiles of women popped up. He is married and I believe has children, the pictures were not professional work type pictures, they were the type of pictures taken for a dating site. I was surprised a little, this guy is a really nice person, not one of those creepy guys. I am not totally surprised however, I think most gay and bisexual men get exposed to things that the average person has no idea is happening. The man started chatting on line with one of the women so I walked away and made some noise to let him know I was around.
There is a weird experiment happening with my work place. Men are sent over seas to work for a couple of weeks and then return home. Depending on the man's position, it can be every six weeks to once every three months. I should say because most of the positions are engineering jobs, there are not many women at my work place but they have an equal obligation to travel as well. Usually at first the men call home every evening to say goodnight and say how much they miss everyone. However after a few trips over, they start to get to know the people in the overseas work environment, calls home become less frequent, they start to go out to restaurants, bars, dancing, weekends sight seeing, it's like a second beginning as if they are just out of university and still single. There are always younger female engineers to take them out, show them a good time, constantly looking after them, becoming close friends in a new environment until finally one night they go one step further and they have sex.
Some of the engineers have a secret girlfriend, some even have an apartment with a girlfriend and their child. Others divorce the old wife and replace her with a newer version, one that is more traditional, she works outside the home but insists on doing all the house chores, every man's dream no matter what they say. I don't want to judge anyone, I have seen wives that didn't deserve the good husband they got so there can be two sides to every story. I just think it's interesting that when average, ordinary straight men get an opportunity to have multiple, younger, or secret partners, many jump at the chance, I thought that was only supposed to be a gay man behavior trait? Also, just like many, many gay men, there are men at my work that don't act this way, they think that behavior is wrong and are dedicated to their partner only. I think people need to judge the individual and not the group as a whole, some men are dogs, some are not... gay and straight.
Now for my next post, I'm going to reveal a shocking truth that many gay and straight men have in common, many straight men will look around nervously to see if any other guys are within ear shot and then whisper, "I tell everyone that I don't like ABBA but I actually do like a lot of their songs"!
Posted by Sooo-this-is-me at 11:10 AM
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ABBA? NOOOOOOOOO! Notice how I zoomed in on the most important point in this piece?
Deedles.. ugh... grrr... aaack! You do realize that you probably started everyone going down that rabbit hole right!!! All the effort of writing a post and you just know what is going to happen! Okay that was a funny comment, so you're forgiven. Lol :D
You "don't want to judge anyone", hrm?
I don't think many people characterize straight men as being more monogamous by nature than gay men. Don't we all warn our daughters that men have only one thing on their minds? First it's "take a chance on me" and then it's "thank you for the music".
I do think there is a stereotype that straight men have fewer opportunities to have multiple sex laying all their love on them. Furthermore I take this stereotype for granted. Knowing me and knowing you, I guarantee it would not be difficult for you to have three or four men after midnight each week if you were so inclined. Ring, ring on Grindr, and the winner takes it all. We make jokes about Tinder being the straight name of the game, but is sex as readily available for our poor oppressed straight brethren?
I'm not all surprised by the behavior of your peers on these trips.
many people of both genders and orientations will "play while the cat's away".
BTDT with my first (now ex) husband, a real asshole.
been married to #2 for 27 years now and no desire to play around.
And another thing, (besides the ABBA crap) just because something is shoved in your face, doesn't mean you have to eat it!
Gay or straight,people cheat. it isn't in their sexual orientation it'sin the character.
BTW I loathe ABBA.
Boh! I've never been convinced that monogamy is a natural condition. Except in gibbons, wolves and french angelfish....
Some people can be monogamous without any problem. Some people cannot. It’s a combo of preference and character. Monogamous relationships are a lot of work. And so are that are non-monogamous or monogam-ish, as Dan Savage puts it.
After I read Sex At Dawn, I started understanding straight people more.
I posted about that awhile ago. It’s an interesting topic that’s worth exploring...
BTW I like ABBA. ^_^
ABBA?? Really? This is strange but I let my husband look at porn. I told him it's okay to look but don't touch. I told him if I ever EVER catch him looking at child porn or even thinking of it, I will turn him in.
Old Lurker, you just put too much effort into being a smart pants.
I say I'm not judging anyone because I don't want people to feel I'm giving them a lecture, it's not my place, I don't know their life experiences. I personally think a person could bring a lot of hurt and sadness into their life by doing this. My focus however was that I grew up constantly hearing how gay men were always running around having sex, while straight men were more restrained. When given the opportunity, I don't think there is much difference between gay and straight. I know a lot of gay men who don't have sex unless they meet that one special person. That's the point here.
Richard, my eyes have been really opened in the last ten years or so.
Anne Marie, I think it's personality and not sexuality.
Deedles, you know the naughty readers will giggle at that comment.
Bob, I agree it's in the character.
You know... not liking ABBA is one of the top five signs that you might be evil, don't get upset with me, it's just a known fact!
Will, and pigeons but who wants to be a pigeon lol. I'm always monogamous because nobody else wants me! :)
Sixpence, I wish people would just admit what they want from a relationship and be adult about it. Yes it's character and not sexuality.
Leanna, yes ABBA, but that's our secret. I think most guys look at porn and even some women like looking at it as well.
One of the gayest moments of my life involves an ABBA song - go figure.
Dr Spo, they are the soundtrack for older gay people, well at least most of us. Lol
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