Thursday, February 28, 2019
Thoughts on the way home. "Home"?
Driving home this evening, I was a little late from working longer hours and stopping for gas. The sky was clear, which is something completely rare this year. I could still see some twilight as I was getting close to home, the clock read 6:58 pm, that made me feel hopeful, maybe spring hasn't forgotten us after all.
During my travels it was announced that the lead singer of the band Talk Talk had passed away, he was 64. That was an eighties band I used to listen to, another part of my youth gone and it makes me feel sad but at the same time, I am getting used to it. Then it was announced that the actor Luke Perry suffered a stroke, at first I was wondering what the heck happened, they said the "aging actor" is 51, oh yes... I remember now, we are entering our senior years, that still shocks me, I forget that I'm not in my late thirties anymore. I never watched 90210 but I know who he is, I remember thinking he was smoking hot.
Try not to think about it, try not to think about it, just keep driving towards home. Define "home", I never thought the day would come when the farm no longer feels like home. At first it was my anchor when dad died, the one thing that wasn't changing and I clung to being there. After a while however, it did begin to change. When I had to place mom in a nursing home, it began to change for me, it took on a different feeling, not the same comforting feeling as before. It became more like a museum to my parents than a home. Now however two years later as I approach the place, it almost feels like a burden, something tying me down. At other times it almost feels like a library book, I'm just borrowing it for now until the next person gets it.
Sometimes I feel that the farm is an entity and I'm doing it/her a disservice by staying here, I'm holding her in limbo, whereas a new family would breath new life, new ideas into her. I am ending my stages in life with her, someone else would be a beginning. My only hope is that they will see her for the beautiful lady she is, with all her rich history, landscapes, plus nature... and not just as a business with barns.
Posted by Sooo-this-is-me at 8:32 PM
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WOW!! Steven honey, get yourself a nonedible furry being, STAT! My grandma hugs can only do so much! You do write beautifully, tho. I've never liked the term ageing so and so. It's stupid. We're ageing from conception. You know what? Old Lurker will probably give you a hard time (that's how he rolls and we love him anyway) so I am going to send you more hugs. I'd send you antidepressants but I stopped using those years ago. You sound like you are just short of becoming one of those Dickens like characters locked up in an attic wearing an old ratty wedding dress. I've got to stop commenting right after watching Deadpool 2. It makes a person sound callus. Seriously sweetie, sending you love and affection. You may put me in a corner for a timeout if you wish.
Steven, ignore me. I'm just tired. You may have the hugs though. I think I speld callous rong, to.
Hugs to you , maybe it’s time to make a new “home” for yourself.
Deedles: Steven already has some bunnies, which in principle are edible, but I think he refrains from eating rabbits. He also has two adorable farm cats, and as far as I know he also refrains from eating pussies. I would suggest that he get himself a hirsute boyfriend, but that would fail the non-edible test too.
It's nice to know that spring has not forgotten Steven. I am still very much in the dark. February can't end soon enough.
Home. I think it has to feel home to us to be that, huh?
It may be time like you say, to let somebody else breathe new life into the farm. There’s places we’ve loved but there comes a time when we will have to move on. Maybe a smaller place? In a different place?
And Luke Perry is an ‘aging actor’? Oh dear. I like him in Riverdale.
Talk Talk had big influence on my life too. Mark Hollis was a master.
Home is where you make it. Perhaps it's time to move to the city.
Sounds like you're on the threshhold of change and that can be a wonderful thing!
where would you like to live, if you could live anywhere in canada?
friends of spo moved from toronto to PEI a few years ago; they wonder why they waited so long. don't wait too long to make a change!
Deedles, there is nothing I love more than when you make me snicker and giggle by accident. Thank you for the compliment. We love Old Lurker? I didn't get the memo regarding that, how about strongly like?
Deedles, ignore you? I look forward to your replies, they are certainly one of a kind! Lol
I see what you did there, fun-eee, don't worry because my spelling is atrosus, atrocus, atroci- no good.
Hello Scott! Thanks for the hugs, that's exactly what I need to do.... with someone in that home as well.
Old Lurker, see what I did for you buddy? Poof! Presto Change-o! Now it's March!
Sixpence, yes there comes a time to let go and move on.
I only heard of Riverdale yesterday, I didn't know he was still acting. He was also in the original Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Richard, yes he was great, I always liked music that wasn't top forty, "Life is what you make it" and "I believe in you" are some of the songs that I still love to this day.
Yes time to get closer to the gay herd.
Debra, that's the way I should be looking at it; however I find at this age, change almost always is a bad thing.
Anne Marie, that's a good question, I think it's not a matter of where but I a matter of being less isolated.
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