Saturday, February 9, 2019

About the "T" in LGBTQ.


 Regarding the person who is transgender at work, I understand now that some of the "buzz" was created by the human resources department sending out an email. In it, the department stated why the person was away in order to prepare everyone for the change. This way there would be no startled looks, no stupid questions, we would address the person by a new name, make them feel at ease and move on. I think happily most people see it as an opportunity to show how inclusive they can be. Some are a little uncomfortable because they are not sure what to say or if something is even required to be said. I see this being a non issue within another week.

 The surprise for me was that it's not the person I suspected. There is a person in the offices that makes me feel like they are somewhere on the scale. It was however one of the engineers, I was really surprised and didn't see this coming. I guess I'm not as LGBTQ savvy as I would like to think I am. I don't know this person so I feel it would seem patronizing to go and say something to them but at the same time I wonder if it would help to know they have me firmly in their corner. Her coworkers are clearly on her side so I think the best thing to do is let things run their normal day to day routine. I certainly feel she is "home", as a man she looked scruffy and slightly unhealthy, as a woman she looks like she is where she belongs.

 The other night the person from the offices happened to come down in my area. I always saw "her" as a woman, I was thinking she looks like many of my lesbian friends. She has a lot of masculine traits, a woman but with some boy-ish features. While in my area she... walked into the men's bathroom. That really surprised me, now I'm totally curious just for the sake of being curious, is this person a guy that looks like a woman, a gay man embracing his feminine side or female to male transgender person. I think it's so fantastic that this is just part of the new normal, what I like the most about it is everyone seems to be "meh who cares", which is how it always should have been.

20 comments:

Deedles said...

Maybe somebody really had to pee badly and that was the closest toilet. When my granddaughters were small, my son and I took them to a movie. Pre movie I took one into the ladies and he took the other to the men's. It was during the day and the theater wasn't crowded so we were the only ones in the restrooms. Until, I walked out of the stall and this little old man was standing there asking if I knew we were in the men's room. Ooops! Never noticed the urinals or the signs evidently. My son faired better since no one walked into the ladies while he was there.
Sorry, this just reminded me of that in a round about way. I figure live and let live. Everyone was forewarned, no I don't like that, fore notified which is great. I would suggest going about your normal business.
Damn, I'm longwinded today.

Bob Slatten said...

Maybe it's someone who doesn't conform to gender stereotypes.
And Deedles is right, and she is almost always, 'Live and let live'.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Deedles, regarding being long winded, lol you act like we haven't met you before! Well blog wise that is. :) You are welcome to be as windy as you want.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Bob, I'm thinking the same thing. A lot of restaurants are removing the men and women signs from washroom doors and they just say washroom.

Sixpence Notthewiser said...

We should never assume anything. That’s what I’ve learned. I have met the gayest straight men you can find and some people I met years ago have transitioned in wha pt seems an inordinate short time while keeping the relationships they had before the transition. All I’ve done is change pronouns.

XoXo

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Gaydar is of no assistance in identifying who is about to transition, I've found. Sometimes the most surprising people do it. But more power to them! Everyone should be able to live their lives as who they truly are.

John Going Gently said...

I don't mind multi sex bogs
As long as everyone can cope with me farting

Old Lurker said...

Spreading the office gossip, are we? What happened to having enough to worry about given our work load than to worry about something that is none of our business?

mistress maddie said...

Here in New Hope, we haven't had mens/ladies signs on bathroom doors of establishments since at least 2000. And in the club scene of New York and Philly, everybody went to which ever bathroom they wanted. There was men women and everything in between in those rooms, and no one blinked on eye.

Shame everybody doesn't experience this.

Peter said...

A number of years ago a friend stopped by my apartment with a friend of his named Terry, young with long hair and a loose sweater. I could not figure out was Terry boy or girl. When I asked my friend later I was told that he/she was in process of transitioning male to female. Next time I saw Terry was at a party at the same friend's place and then she was a beautiful young woman. I told her how great she looked and she told me she had also had a nose job, "There is no point in going through all this to be an ugly woman.".

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Sixpence, one of my straight friends was always mistaken for a gay man, he was completely comfortable with himself and found it funny. He was however, quite the ladies man.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Debra, I have noticed that, transgender people slip past our super powers... lol. Still I feel we are kindred spirits.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

John, farting is on my next "man turn offs" list! At least let me get to know you first lol!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Old Lurker, ugh... now what are you sneering about. Only you could read a post about no one paying attention and get something negative. I was asked by a coworker if I received the email because he knew HR would probably miss people, I said I knew and he literally then asked if I had watched the game Sunday. I thought that was cool. Regarding the other person, I'm allowed to think inside my head, I'm interested in LGBTQ issues, this blog is about those issues, we can discuss it here, everyone is LGBTQ or LGBTQ friendly, I think you are a little old to act like a member of the snowflake generation. :p

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Maddie, when I was dating Dan, we used to use the women's washrooms at a popular gay bar. By law they had to have them even though most days it was %100 male clients. The washrooms were sparkling clean and no one tried to take your picture peeing or offer you a bj.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Hello Peter! That's a great story and absolutely true. I think with a good sense of humor like that, she will do well. I do wish the person at work had a gay friend with fashion sense, someone needs to sit her down and explain the difference about hair products. I think she is still using cheap shampoo and ruining her hair. She was totally rocking a little black dress on Friday.

Richard said...

When I lived in Dallas back in the 80's, the Starck club opened. The club had unsex bathrooms. It was a first for Dallas. It was so shocking at the time that all the local news channels ran stories about the bathrooms.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Richard, did they film you going pee? It's funny the things that set off the older generations. Last night a straight friend was saying how he was trying to explain to his father that being gay didn't start back in the seventies and eighties, lol.

Old Lurker said...

Last entry we were all judgemental towards your coworkers because they were naturally curious, and because we have such hangups about direct questions they were discreetly probing for information. I agree that people should not feel harassed with irritating questions at work, but I do not blame your coworkers for their curiosity.

Now you are the one who is curious and gossiping about the possible gender identities of your coworkers and we are all congratulating you for your curiosity. Are we all supposed to mind our own business or aren't we? Does speaking behind the backs of the people in question make it okay? I repeated the same explanation you praised in the first entry and then you got irritated.

I do not think the conclusion is "Never blog about LGBTQ+ people". I think the conclusion is that we should have some compassion for poor straight people. Ideally, we would kindly but firmly help them navigate these situations so that the people transitioning (or coming out, or whatever) feel welcomed and not awkward because nobody knows what to say, but that is a high bar to pass.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Old Lurker, I said I was curious for the sake of curiosity. Gossiping? Seriously? Did I identify this person at any point, say something about them, their personality? I never disclose anyone's real name, photo, job description, you have no way of knowing who they really are! There is a world of difference between being curious in your mind only and starting a gossip chain to focus in on someone else's life. I think you already know that and are just being your usual argumentative self. You really do have a Jekyll and Hyde personality, more Jekyll, less Hyde.