You know that old saying, friends with benefits is all fun and games until someone puts an eye out. Maybe I mixed my sayings, that doesn't sound right, I guess that would have to be some pretty wild and kinky sex. Actually I heard that a friends with benefits situation usually doesn't work. I guess there are two types, one would be friends that were comfortable enough with each other to engage in this type of relationship, the other would be meeting up with someone to start this type of relationship. I did the second, well sort of, it wasn't my intention to just meet for sex but it worked out that way, it was a lot of fun at first but soon I realized that we had nothing else in common other than having sex. The second thing that happened was he quickly fell in love with me or at least he was infatuated with me. He was a nice guy but at the same time he wasn't. He was also no where near the type of guy, personality wise, that I would date. This complicated things so I ended it, mostly because I'm not heartless, I hated the way I was making him feel.
I heard as well, that many times when good friends become involved, one friend is usually secretly in love with the other person, they are hoping that after becoming involved the other person will return those feelings and a relationship will start. I think maybe the opposite happens, I think all the little things that keep you from loving your friend, are the little things that build over time and make you really not want to date that person. Maybe that's why a lot of guys just like one night stands or no strings attached type of sex. I would prefer to be in a relationship but if I can't have that, I could see having the complete opposite, (maybe). Not a stranger but someone that I could trust, just show up and have sex no strings attached. Maybe high five each other and go on our way, ok just kidding about the high five. Maybe that's describing a form of fwb relationship, I'm probably being brave because I am safe behind a keyboard. I don't think I could ever get into a friends with benefits relationship with someone I really liked, I know I would be the one to fall in love with the other person, I think it would be too emotionally dangerous. I am sure that it would make me wonder why that person doesn't want to date me.
I think it would work out if everyone is on the same page, unfortunately people are not always honest with themselves let alone with a partner. I often didn't feel good about myself on my drive of shame home (lol), I would prefer not to do that again. I'm going to concentrate on a real relationship for now.
Tuesday, February 27, 2018
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FWB has never worked for me. I know people who are quite happy with the arrangement. I'm just no good with those romantic/sexual entanglements. I can see the appeal. I guess it would be...I don't know what...convenient? I'm not sure what to make of it. I guess I'm not wired in that way.
About a year after my ex and I split, I met a guy online who was in an open relationship. We became fwbs for a while. I entered into the arrangement because the guy had a partner. I thought there was no danger of him falling for me, or me for him. The last time we were together, he told me I would be at the top of the list if he was looking for a husband. I never saw him again. He would not have been at the top of my list of potential husbands. A few months after our last encounter, I found out that their relationship ended.
Yes, you may have to put aside the idea of a FWB. Who WOULDN'T fall in love with you? Being beautiful must be such a terrible burden.
I have had a mixed bag of FWB DEALS. One was very even playing field...and last three years till he moved away. And when I do, we have always started out as friends and work towards sex, or it sort of just happened. The third one, we actively seeked out the set up. That's the one that made last a hand full of visits and that was it. They can be convenient, and can serve a purpose when needed.
Walter, I think a lot of guys are not wired that way. That has its own sex appeal to it. That's not what I want either, I want a boyfriend but one who wants to do it like bunnies!
RJJS, I always wonder about open relationships, I wonder how stable they are. I don't judge others, if they are happy then it's not my business
Mr Lurker, I wouldn't know what being beautiful is like, ask Maddie, he would know.
Maddie, now why did I suspect that you would be knowledgeable about different fwb deals! I remember you saying that you were in a relationship, if this works for you then good.
Fwb ok for some
Ok if you are young
Not for me
John, same here, I prefer to find someone to be with, the full boyfriend experience is what I want.
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