I know as far as the gay culture goes, I am pretty boring. I know that I'm missing out on a lot. I also know that I don't contribute much of anything. Some of this is due to my personality, some due to being lazy, especially in winter, I try to put everything off until spring or summer.
I am curious about the way other gay men lead their lives. I like to read and watch videos about aspects of the gay culture, the parts of the culture that I would never take part in. One thing I became curious about is the popularity among gay men to mix drugs and sex. I don't personally get the idea, I have heard all the reasons, I guess our head spaces are on different planets.
I happened to watch some homemade porn videos, the guys were using different types of drugs and having sex. I watched with an open mind, I figured it was probably going to be some pretty uninhibited wild gay sex. I could see the appeal of doing something like that. After a few minutes I noticed something in most of the videos, they were boring. The odd thing was these guys were saying things like "this is f...ing wild" or "f...ing awesome" but what I really saw was a bunch of guys that were so out of it, that they couldn't get hard or couldn't stay hard, all the while saying how hot the sex was because they were too stoned to know the difference. I am not writing this as judgment, it's just me thinking, maybe this is not as fun as you think it is.
I used to wonder if the hook up and kink lifestyles in the gay culture had something to do with the way we were treated, the way we had to hide, the way we had to live in a very homophobic world. I don't think that way any longer, the new gay generations becoming adults have just as many people on the wild side as the older generations. It's just now the marry and settle down types get to be visible as well. I also am starting to no longer think this is a gay thing, it's a guy thing. There are a lot of straight men into hooking up or bizarre sex, just they were hiding it better until the internet showed up. I think a lot of the behavior is some form of addiction, it's not healthy or maybe I am wrong, maybe that is just their personality.
It may sound strange but I couldn't help feeling sorry for those guys in the videos, their reality wasn't real. I think they are missing out on life but they wouldn't understand what I mean. They would tell me to f... off and think I am really boring, which I am and from what I saw in some of the videos, I'm ok with that.