Valentine's day is approaching, makes me think of my first Valentine's with Dan. I never paid any attention to it in my younger years but as I was coming out, it did bother me. Society at that time almost indicated that you were worthless if you didn't have a date for Valentine's day. Dan and I had just started dating, I invited him over for supper that evening. It was actually more of a date than for Valentine's. The cute thing was, neither one of us really knew the other. I didn't know how serious his personality was or romantic or comical. I had bought him a card, just for fun actually. When he came over I started feeling stupid, I wasn't some schoolgirl giving a boy she liked a card. I took his coat and got him a drink. Then I sheepishly gave him the card, he looked puzzled. I had to remind him it was Valentine's day, he just said "oh" or something to that effect. I felt really immature at that point and wished I could go back in time. Then suddenly Dan had this silly grin on his face, went and got his coat and pulled out a card, plus a little bear sitting on a box of candy. I was happy to see were alike in our thinking and that he had that romantic playful side to him.
It's strange, I think the next year for us was big regarding Valentine's day but after that it didn't have the same meaning. I guess it's the feeling of the grass being greener on the other side of the fence. When I didn't have a boyfriend, days like Valentine's were big events where I had to sit on the sidelines but when I did have someone, I didn't think they had that much importance.
Dear universe, give me another chance, let me find another sweet guy. I will try harder this time. I now see my mistakes regarding the last decent guy, I will do better, I learned my lesson. Just don't send another guy who doesn't like sex, I mean come on most guys....... well you know. I think I understand more, I think I'm more open minded, I think I'm ready. Please dear universe, my guy is out there but I find a canyon between us and I need a bridge.