Thursday, February 8, 2018

This is weird but... moo ving.

This may sound weird to you but it's part of who I am. I want a cow, nope there's no metaphor here, by "cow" I mean a cow, moo, milk, horns, flapping ears. I love cows, they are a really cool animal and very smart in their own cow way. If horses are the dog of farm animals, cows are the cat, they have that same independent thinking. Like, "stupid human, put me in the field with no grass, let me push down this gate, oh ya, green grass, that's better". Even smarter, "so you brought the cattle truck just as junior is old enough to wean, I'm just taking my calf into the forest, try to get us now motherfu...", well you get my meaning. I was encouraged by Walter's post regarding a movie about gay farmer love. Farming is something that is in the blood, I wouldn't want to start now, if I was younger and had a husband, maybe but I would want more in line with a business/farming operation.

I regret running out of time on the cow issue, it wouldn't make sense to get one now. You can't really just get one, you should have at least three. Over the last few years their value was outrageously high so I didn't want to get any, things happen and cows die, I didn't want the loss. People reading this would probably never understand, that nothing will reduce me into a sobbing idiot faster than watching the video I made of bringing our cows home for the last time to be sold. My father wanted them gone before he died, he was afraid I would get hurt. Like some sad Disney movie tugging at your heart strings, he died the next day. The thing I try to explain to people is the herd was an entity, it was living history. They were descendants of animals that I knew as a child and those animals were descendants of my grandfather's cattle and those were descendants of my great grandfather's cattle, like I said, living history. I felt I was betraying them, I was betraying our history.

I'm just trying to be odd here, not sad. I figured this must be the only gay blog with a post about wanting to get a cow. It wasn't a sad ending for the cows either, they had excellent genetics and the entire herd went to another farm, that's nine years ago now, some are still there. Yes I do also enjoy hamburgers. I think my dream would be to live in a small village, I don't have the patience for the city anymore. I want enough space for a garden, some little animals like bunnies etc and a sweet guy to share it with. One who is also a little naughty with a high sex drive, hey it's my dream so I can have what I want. Plus just imagine how excited my husband would be when he learns about my excellent milking skills.





16 comments:

John Going Gently said...

I toyed with the idea of a cow. I so wanted a jersey but I am not allowed according to my field lease
I love them

Anonymous said...

Another mooo-ving post. Ha! I couldn't resist.

I'm not a big fan of cows. They're cute, I think, on billboards advertising Chick-Fillet, but that's about it for me. I met a few while I visited a farm, but they didn't leave a favorable impression. Maybe they were the wrong sort of cow.

Now, about your milking skills: do go on...I'm listening!

Old Lurker said...

What? You're going to milk the rabbits?

If you sell the farm you can't get a cow. You want a cow. Therefore...

Anonymous said...

I have a new appreciation for cows after reading this post.

Anonymous said...

I once fell in a cow pat. I’ve never thought about cows in the same way again.
JP

Mistress Maddie said...

You are painting a very nice picture........and how about some little goats? There adorable.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

John, jerseys are cute and probably the most docile cow, their calves are like baby deer. However you need at least three acres for a cow, plus you would be drowning in milk with a jersey. Get a goat lol.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Walter, comedian... don't give up your day job! :)
They are not pets, they can be dangerous especially a new mother. It's ok to not want to be around some. A person should know what they are doing.
I will take a guess that most guys have some experience and milking skills, you included! ;p

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Mr Lurker, yes actually it's well known that Netherlands farmers produce a rare cheese called Lapin from a large milking breed of rabbit.
As for moving, I thought that was what balconies were for.... no?

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Rjjs, then my work here is done. :)

Sooo-this-is-me said...

JP, I have a feeling the cows saw you in a different light as well after that or at least the farmer did. He's probably retelling that story to this day. I'm laughing WITH you, yes with you.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Maddie, thank you, yes little goats are cute. They are a lot smarter than sheep and make an interesting pet. They do climb like monkeys so you have to know how to take care of them. I like almost all farm animals except one, pigs creep me out.

Old Lurker said...

Yes, a balcony should work. Maybe you could get a Vietnamese potbellied cow.

Now I want to know in what ways you find pigs creepy.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Mr Lurker, I want you to be honest with me, did I get you with the rabbit cheese story? Lol. I did have a garden on my balcony when I lived in town.

Pigs ugh, yuck. The only farm animal that kills and eats its own babies, the beady little eyes always watching you, makes me think of the bible story where evil is sent into the pigs and they run off a cliff. The babies might seem cute but the adults constantly make these awful grunting noises, they stink, they destroy everything, they stink, they will kill lambs, baby goats, poultry, pups, kittens, new born calves, did I mention they stink, they will grab a pail of feed from your hand. Well you asked.......

Old Lurker said...

You totally snookered me. Who would be so silly as to believe rabbit cheese could be a thing? http://floridahillbilly.com/rabbit-milk-cheese/

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Mr Lurker, oh for Pete's sake! Well we should have been warned by the title "hillbilly". I herd of someone using cat milk for something, that is how I invented the rabbit prank, lol looks like the joke is on me!!! Hahaha.