Warning! The following post will be dull, boring and even mushy but it is a fact of my life. I figured I better give this warning because I do get emails saying things like "Dear Steve, you seem like a nice person but all you ever talk about is your relationship with Dave or about being gay" and " Dear Steve, I like your blog but they are getting too mushy and I am bored with them." Actually this does not offend me as they probably think they are helping me out, and honestly I know it is partly true. The thing is... this is a blog about a gay guy coming out and entering into my first real relationship, so naturally the things that are on my mind about all this will make it into my blog. I did not intend to write about my whole life here. Also most say people write blogs for attention, not in my case, it was a place to get my thoughts out. I often turn down suggestions to draw attention to my blog. Honestly I like the small group of people who I have met through this blog and connected with, plus I respect the people who read regularly but for their own reasons choose to stay silent. I do not have an interest in trying to spice it up more to be read more as that would not really be me, also I don't want to lose that connection with the people who comment and email, I would miss you guys/gals.
Now the mushy parts. Dave and I have actually been doing pretty well, he is really trying to give me the things I need in this relationship and it is working out well. I know we are in love but now it is going to that next level where for lack of a better word, we are really bonding to each other. I feel happy and good about our relationship, I don't worry anymore that it will not work out, it seems we have opened a door to being able to say anything on our minds and we only appreciate the other more for their honesty. We can't stand being away from each other and right now, there is nothing I love better than on a cold night, being snuggled up close to my warm guy... even if he does snore a bit, a big bit, a lot. I was teasing him the other day, I said this must be love because we speak 'baby talk' to each other now. You know, like when he is really tired and wants me to come to bed with him he says "me tired, need go sleepy, you come wiff me peas! I'm just as bad, I'll say "its cold, snuggle up wiff me under the bankies" umm yeah, I'm serious, we actually say that to each other! We always cuddle up together, whether eating, watching TV, sitting outside in the sun, everywhere. I still get little jolts when he takes my hand, I like to just touch him, smell him and we still just kiss on the couch for fun. I don't see myself anywhere else right now except with this man.
We are so ordinary, I think straight people who don't know gay people would be shocked with how day to day ordinary we are. I think that is a message I would like to give younger gay people or older gay people coming out who feel they don't fit into the 'gay lifestyle' the message that there is not one way to live gay. They can be anything from a drag queen, to a couple that comes home from the office, cooks supper and goes out riding on dirt bikes after. The life you want is the life that you can take for yourself and live, there are plenty of gay men of every interest to live it with you.