It happened the other night, it was a simple moment, nothing earth shattering and yet it was the world to me. I had spent the day at Dave's, doing little projects outside together before the winter sets in. The day was sunny and unusually warm, the air had an ironic spring smell to it as if life was about to start over and not go to sleep. I did not want the day to end but the sun was sinking lower in the sky. Everything was so silent and the beauty of the sun setting over the creek that quietly flows past Dave's house was breath taking. I said to Dave, "wow that is beautiful" and looking over at him, he sat on a stone wall, reached out to me and said come here. He pulled me into him, I turned around and sat on the wall between his legs. He wrapped his long arms lovingly around me, put his chin on my shoulder, our cheeks touching and we just sat there in silence together watching the sun go down. It had so much meaning for me that the moment was almost over whelming. One reason, I felt it was the summer sun's last good bye, the last perfect sunset for the season until next spring. Most of all however it was the reason that poems are written about, it is the fodder for love songs, two people in love watching the sun set. A first for me I realized of my entire life, and even though I have watched many beautiful sunsets, this time it was almost intoxicating to be sharing it with someone. A simple moment for most people everywhere, but something so touching and new for someone who has finally allowed himself to fall in love.
I get it now, the love songs that is, the love stories and poems. I thought I understood them before but I see now that you can not really grasp the meaning until you have actually been in that emotion. It is kind of like when someone has suffered a great loss, everyone tries to comfort them by saying they understand, when in reality they have no clue, they never had to experience the feeling. That was one of my fears when still in the closet, to grow old and die always having been alone, never knowing what 'being in love' with someone was like. I would have considered my life a waste if that had happened. I understand now when love songs speak of never wanting to be apart, of being complete together and of being broken hearted at the thought of losing one another. Whispering to Dave I even expressed this feeling to him, I said "so this is what love songs are about" he kissed me lightly on the neck just below my ear and whispered "I do love you so much". I leaned my head back onto his shoulder and just enjoyed the warmth of his body. The air quickly became very crisp with the fading light and as the sun finally sank from our sight, I softly said "thank you for sharing this with me".