I woke up early Sunday with an uneasy feeling, as if I had a dentist appointment. Then I remembered it was the big gay meeting day. I rolled out of bed and said to myself "it is only for coffee, should not hurt" and then stumbled my way to the bathroom. Ahhh! A big pimple on my nose, very funny life, throw that at me as well, you must have been saving that one for twenty years, just like you always sent them to me the day before a high school dance. I was trying to stay calm, we were just supposed to have a short meeting but I had to wonder what if we have nothing to talk about and sit there in awkward silence. Even worse, what if I get nervous and totally run-off at the mouth, scaring the poor guy off forever. I get ready, he calls and we agree to meet at noon. I waited out front for him, I felt like a high school kid. He arrived and we went in.
Sitting down, I was scanning him big-time. I did the "does not sound gay, does not look gay" check on him, yeah I know that is wrong and "my bad" but it is a habit I have to break. He was very easy to talk to and I felt relaxed after a few minutes. He talked about his art as a hobby, how he used to be in the army, his family, work and I suddenly understood that he is one of those people that you meet but feel you have always known. We talked for quite some time, he excused himself to use the washroom and while waiting for his return, I realized that I did not care about sitting in a coffee shop with another gay man. I did not care who would walk in, who might see me there with him or would the people around me know we were a gay couple. It felt good, probably one of the few times in a person's life not caring was a good thing. I could not help but think "wow you have come a long way from the guy that would not even say the word gay out loud." Conversation flowed easy and time flew by, he said he had to run some errands and I told him that I did not want to hold him up. He asked me if I would like to take a short walk with him first, I of course said yes.
After we returned to our cars he showed me some of his paintings he had in the back seat. While looking at them he mentioned he was going alone to see a movie downtown after his errands and then asked if I did not mind the running around, would I like to join him. Big smile from me and I said yes. I got in his car and as we drove away, I remember thinking "I hope he is not psycho and I guess I could take him if I had to get away!" We arrived a little early and so walked around again. We did the typical gay thing and watched the French film, Un Secret with subtitles in english of course. The movie was good but sad, based on a true story of a Jewish family in France during WWII. Again the whole evening I never worried about who would see me with him, just two people enjoying each other's company. It was getting late so he drove me back to get my car, we shook hands, and said it was nice to meet each other. I told him not to be shy and call or email me anytime.
I don't know if a relationship will come out of this meeting but I do certainly know that I want him as a friend. He was interesting, very down to earth and seemed a cool headed small town boy but mostly though because we spent the day together without ever mentioning anything to do with our sexuality and as for making a friend, one who also happens to be gay like myself, that speaks volumes to me.
Monday, December 10, 2007
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Yay! That sounds like a very nice meeting. I'm glad everything worked out well. He obviously felt comfortable with you or he would have dashed off to run his errands. This was a big step for you, Steven, and I'm happy you took it!
Great baby steps! Even if it doesn't turn into anything, you've gotten out there!
Ahh, he pulled the old "let me show you my artwork in the backseat trick!"
Seriously, sounds like a great first step, congratulations!
I dedicate this video to your Sunday experience:
This whole experience you describe "speaks volumes." Congrats to you on a great time where you didn't have to worry about what to say or discuss and that everything just flowed. And I so know what you mean about those "Aha" times about "being in the moment" and not caring about what others are thinking. Here's to many more moments! :-)
Yay, I'm really glad this turned out great for ya. It's a nice feeling isn't it, just meeting someone for the first time yet you just feel at ease with them as if you've known each other.
This is really good! I was smiling here at work reading us. Rock onnn!!
Wonderful! And doesn't it feel great to just live your life? Keep going! Wherever this goes, whether he becomes a friend or more, it's great to see you spreading your wings! More new friends await!
Awwww...I am happy for you!
Its always great making new friends....esp ones who you can be totally upfront and honest with from the get-go.
Keep us posted....I cannot wait to see how this progresses.
It's wonderful that you're becoming more at ease with this concept.Enjoy.
This is a huge step and you must feel great having met someone face to face!
You go, bro! And you're still breathing. Just go for being friends. That's good.
That's so awesome, Steven! I totally understand your nervousness, as I get that way all the time. Congrats on at least making a new friend. *hugs*
YAY!!! I am SOOOOOo glad that it went well. If nothing else friends are always a welcomed addition. "Good" friends are very hard to come by sometimes. CONGRATS!!!!! Keep us filled in!
This is a lovely story--I'm very happy for you. There are many other great men out there, too. The big thing is that you never faltered, but took it one step at a time and came up with a great first meeting. It'll just get easier and easier from now on!
Forgive me but today I am blog lazy, so I will do one big thank you to all my buddys that showed me support, Bill, Wayne, Kendall, Don, Steven, Kris, DaddyC, Jess, K, Erik, John, Joe, Doug, Justin and Will. I love the comments and input and it does help to know that I have blog friends who can give me advice or an ear when things go wrong. This little blog-world is one of the major reasons I have become comfortable with myself enough to start coming out. Thanks guys. Just also know that I check back to see how you are doing as well. To the people that are shy about commenting but read my blog and some email me instead, I am always happy if someone can feel a connection and get something out of my blog.
Sounds like you had a good time. Those are the ones that really click.
Enjoy the craziness of it all.
that's awesome. i know you will be making even more friends sooner than you ever thought.
good on you!
Truthspew, hey welcome, I have to say I love the hair!
Danny, thanks, I hope you are right.
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