Life assembles sometimes like a puzzle, piece by piece which at first, looks like a mess to the person trying to fit everything together. Until you get that lucky break, that right piece that lets you see the picture that is beginning to form before your eyes. Finally you feel that there is an end in sight.
I have returned from my Christmas party and I did have a blast but it certainly did not turn out like I thought, it had an even stranger twist to it that was unexpected. My friend Lyn came and picked me up, I had it all planned out on how I was going to tell her. I was going to say something like, am I suppose to be her boyfriend at this party, I knew Lyn would be embarrassed and say no. I was then going to say that she was missing the one thing I look for in a date, a penis. Lyn has a few gay male friends so I knew it would be okay with her. I could see doing it and writing it here for a good laugh. However it went more like something I would read in my buddy K's blog I have to admit it. We were on the way there and I asked the question "am I suppose to be your boyfriend" she laughed and liked I planned became embarrassed, Lyn said no she told everyone we were just friends, I was about to set her up for my penis punch line when she added, "um I am not really attracted to any guys, mostly just girls." Huh? Wha? What? Me totally stunned for a few seconds asked if she was joking. She said no, no joke, that she was attracted to women. We did the 'are you kidding', 'no I'm not kidding' routine for a few seconds. She said that she considers herself bisexual, but is mainly attracted to woman. She said that she was finally learning to accept it.
I told her I am behind her and then started to laugh. I said "this is so funny because I was just about to tell you that I am gay" she looked at me shocked and we went back into the "are you kidding me', 'no I'm not kidding you', 'are you serious', 'yes I'm serious" routine. I said this is so awesome! I can't believe what she said next! She told me that she wants to go to a gay bar, but does not want to go alone and then asked me if I would go with her. I almost screamed with joy. I told her that I have been wanting to go for a while now and was looking for someone to go with me. I know of a really nice gay bar that caters to both lesbians and gay men equally, it is quite popular. I am trying to get her to go this evening, woohoo! Now on to the party and more crazy shh.... stuff that I could not believe.
I told Lyn that I wanted to tell her sister, who is also a good friend of mine and would be at the party. She told me that even though her sister is cool with gay people, she was having trouble over the fact that Lyn likes women. I said maybe I won't tell her then. She hit me with this. She said for me not to worry, that her sister thought I was gay, was waiting for me to tell her and did not care. She said the gay guys at the party also do not know she is bisexual, even though they are close friends of Lyn. I said I would stay quiet then so as not to make Lyn feel uncomfortable.
The food was great, conversation was wicked, I had a bit of a buzz, and the gay guys were at their finest. It is what I suspected, that I was uncomfortable around them before, because of what I was trying to hide and of what they represented for me. They were hilarious, the life of the party, really sweet and I think maybe they received the signals I kept sending them. They said they may have a party and wanted me and Lyn to go if they do. I would so go in a second! There were straight couples there I did not know, but I felt comfortable because they were very loving towards the gay couple, both women and the straight men. I wanted to come out to more people but held back because of Lyn as she did not want to talk about it at the party. The final to cap off the night was the conversation between the two straightest guys there. One guy said that the gay couple are great guys and he really liked being friends with them, that they could joke around about anything. The other guy is Lyn's brother in-law and also my friend. I was worried how he would take it if I told him, that is until he was telling us about the gay wedding he went to, where his friend a trucker (who looks like Ben Affleck), married a transvestite. Huh? Wha? What? He went on to say how the trucker and him had been friends for years and everyone deserves to be happy. I kept thinking I must be dreaming, when did I fall into such a gay positive world as this, pinch me. I am too excited to sleep! It gets even better but enough for now.