Thursday, November 28, 2019
The gay wedding cake dilemma.
I have noticed something with many of the gay people I have been meeting lately. A lot of them are married and I immediately think,"awwwwh, that's sweet". Some of the spouses I have met, some I have not. The odd thing for me however is often at a party or gathering, I will go to use the washroom... and I will walk right into one of the married guys, fooling around with someone else. It's been explained to me that they are married but also have sex with other men. Sometimes it's with a complete stranger that they just met.
In my mind, that's like the old saying about having your cake and eating it too. It's just "my opinion" but I instantly feel like their marriage is a pretend marriage, like children playing house, they follow the rules sometimes but go separate ways at other times. I could see a couple that wanted to spice up their life, maybe add in a friend, I don't have a problem with that. To me it's just completely different if the spouses are going out all the time separately and meeting up with people for sex. They are married but they're still dating... or playing the field.
I know I have some old fashioned ideas but I'm also a romantic, I want a husband that is thinking about me during the day, not about hooking up with some guy he saw online. It doesn't seem like a union of two people who love each other, more like a contract between two buddies living together. I wouldn't feel someone was genuine if they were trying to date me, while at the same time, working on hooking up with others, I would actually feel slighted.
I'm not telling people how to live their life, I'm just saying that I don't personally take their relationship that seriously because I think they are not taking the relationship seriously themselves. I know relationships are changing and becoming less monogamous but it seems really strange to me.
Posted by Sooo-this-is-me at 2:08 PM
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we all grew up with the dogma a marriage is monogamy and to do otherwise was terrible.
As we redefined marriage that same sex couples can do so, it is OK to also allow it to be open or not open. I like this viz. what a couple does is entirely up to them and no one else's business. However, it better be a mutually agreed upon arrangement as without this is hurtful.
I hope you some day find a beaux and you two make it what you to want it to be.
As much as I enjoy sex with men, groups or threesomes....when im in a bona fide relationship with someone a truly love....im old fashioned and it's a closed one. Np others or threesomes. And to be legally married and still have side pieces, then where is the commitment and just what's the point of being married then?, it just show no respect for the institution. See i can be conservative at times. Now im going to eat shortly and get into a turkey coma.......
GAYmen, steven (both of you)!
I've never been a big proponent of marriage, in any form. Just about everyone I know has been divorced at least once. We've been conditioned to believe marriage is synonymous with romance, it isn't.
Except for the threesomes and group sex, I'm with Maddie on this one :)
A pox on monogamy. If all the married people are only supposed to sleep with each other then who is left for me to sleep with? Did you miss that day in kindergarten when they talked about sharing?
Marriage is about much more than sex. It is about property ownership of one's spouse, and arguing with each other for decades, and forging strategic alliances between families, and having a domestic partner to do all the housework while you sit reading the paper, and of course propagating the species via human larvae. I don't see what love or romance have to do with anything.
I heard a report on NPR a while ago on how relationships are changing. One point was monogamy can no longer be assumed. It has to be negotiated. Every relationship is different and is defined by the parties involved. I've met many men around my age who are in open relationships. It seems to work for them.
Well, I’m one of those that thinks those things need to be negotiated before one ties the knot. Sex and money need to be clear from the beginning. I’ve had open and closed relationships and I’ve enjoyed all of them. I think that when they’re open it frees us both of the pressure to be EVERYTHING for each other and it makes us enjoy each other’s company and affection more.
But that’s just me.
I think if a couple has an open relationship, that's a fine thing as long as there is truth and trust and honesty on all sides.
I don't know if I could do that, so luckily I found a man who feels the same, and is as into monotony, er, monogamy, as I.
Dr Spo, no you are completely wrong and now let me explain why I know everything. Just kidding, like I said, I'm not not judging, I believe in "whatever works for you is your business". I worried about coming across as judgmental and that wasn't my purpose. I'm just stating how it feels to me. I can see couples wanting to mix things up but some do it to a degree that it's like two buddies and not a married couple.
Maddie, yes you get me! I feel the same way. When we are married however, I won't be upset if you keep the Lad, (dear gawd please keep the Lad) or Cali Boi or Maddie#1 fan, or your rich boyfriend, especially your rich boyfriend, just remember once married everything of yours is mine as well. ; )
I am right, Anne Marie has spoken, it's the law now! :)
Dave, that's the funny thing, many of the guys were married to women, married to men and divorced from both... and some working on number three... give it up already! Hahaha!
Deedles, I would have been happy to marry a high school sweetheart and live strangely ever after like you did! Kidding! Just kidding! Hahaha.
Lurker, I'm just scratching my head here, I can't for the life of me... figure out why a catch like you is still single.
Richard, I guess I can see it after being married for years but some of these guys are newly married... within the last year.
Sixpence,communication would definitely be important in a relationship like that. It's just that I know personally, I would be crushed if my husband to be, told me he doesn't want to stop hooking up with other guys.
Bob, I'm usually saying, "awww that's so sweet" when I'm reading stuff about you and your hubby. Actually I'm usually gobbling it up and daydreaming it's happening to me. I would love to live boringly ever after with someone I love, just with lots of sex, there has to be sex.
Oh Steven....the times and stories we will have!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh Maddie, think of the home movies we will make!!! ;D
Huh.... yes, home movies!!!!! In the guise of a shadow puppet show!
We can call it, "Wedding Night of the Mistress"! It will be rated PG.... oops sorry.. I meant it will be rated GP as in Gay Porn! Lol
Wait a minute...did I just get whored out?
Cali Boi, you say that like it's a bad thing?
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