Friday, November 22, 2019

How to....


 I  have been sick lately, something like a cold only it lasts longer, about four weeks. It been going around, many people have it. One of the symptoms is a choking cough that really kicks into gear at night. You start coughing around eight in the evening and continually cough until about two or three in the morning. Nothing will relieve the coughing, it's like when you are drinking water and it goes down the wrong way. This makes you completely exhausted. I decided to stay away from mom because I didn't want to bring that into the home.

 Tonight I went to see mom and for a split second the reunion made me forget her illness. I was immediately jolted back to reality when I found her wandering away from her dinner like a zombie. She seemed extra "out of it" tonight. Again it hits me hard, there is mom's body but "mom" is no longer there. I got her to sit back down and I was almost in tears trying to feed her. How did this happen to her, how can this happen to her, why did this happen to her.

 I suddenly feel panicked, is this going to happen to me? If I go like her, I may only have a few years left. I can't let this happen to me. I don't want to end up like that. I can't end up like that, it's old people prison, the crime is getting old and sick, then you are sentenced to five, ten or twenty years in senior jail. I start to think of the least gruesome ways to die. I don't want to live like that, I'm wondering if I get Alzheimer's, how do I...

 Anyway I'm going to meet a bunch of homosexuals tomorrow, hopefully they can cheer me up. The clock is ticking... hurry up and enjoy life. A neighbour who lives about a mile from me, felt unwell and went to her doctor. She told the doctor that she started to have heartburn and thought it could be gallstones. After a bunch of tests, they told her that she has liver cancer and that it spread to her lungs and other organs. She's only 46, now instead of planning for retirement in a few years, she is planning for her funeral. Hurry up and seize life, tomorrow may be too late.

 Yes... I'm okay now.

14 comments:

Sixpence Notthewiser said...

Aww babe.
Sorry to hear she wasn’t having a good day. I cannot imagine how hard it is to see a parent like that. Sending hugs.
And I, no expert, but I’m not sure it’s hereditary? Any doctors here?
Go, go see the homos and have a good time. Wish I could give you a big hug.

XoXo

Bob said...

I also don't believe it's hereditary, though that doesn't stop anyone from thinking the way you were thinking.

As for the neighbor, life happens and death happens and we never really know which one we're gonna get. So, live. Live.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

My Mom spent the last 10 years of her life in a nursing home. It was terrible for her during the initial years until she regressed into blessed dementia. Then it was okay; it was home; it wasn't a problem for her anymore. Her dementia set her free.

Jimmy said...

When I was a kid, and old woman with broken English would say: "Go and do while you're young. When you get old you have to take the doctor with you."
So true.

I hope you have a good supply of Kleenex.

Old Lurker said...

I feel like giving you a hard time about what you have written, but you aren't wrong. "Old people prison" is an apt term.

I hope you have a good time with the homosexuals tomorrow. Is this another nudist party?

Live! Live! Life is a banquet, and some sorry sons of b*tches are starving!

Dave R said...

Worrying so much wastes energy and dims your focus. Change what you can, but don't overly accentuate or over emphasize what you can't. Remember, there is no such thing as luck, no good luck, no bad luck, only life... and life passes.

Richard said...

Have fun with the homos.

Leanna said...

I'm with everyone else. Live your life now because later all you have is a shell of what you once were. Live it up now.

Mistress Maddie said...

Hence why a I use and live by my favorite Auntie Mame quote-

LIVE LIVE!!!! Life's a Banquet, and some poor suckers are starving to death."

Anonymous said...

My friend and former neighbour (67) was just diagnosed with Alzheimer's, something she has dreaded because both parents developed dementia. She has had a month of chronic diarrhea and sickness, I am certain it is because of the grim news. As modern medicine keeps us all alive longer there must be a solution, some kind of death by choice. At the moment, in our state, you have to be within 6 mths of dying (as certified by two physicians) before you can do it. We would not keep our pets alive in the condition some aged people have to live.

Jimmy said...

What a cheerful comment.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Sorry people, I guess I got a little down after seeing mom. Especially after my silly post about Christmas shopping it must have seemed an awful huge swing. My regular readers are used to this, it's all good today, thanks everyone for your comments.

Ur-spo said...

Dementia genetics is not even 50% of the equation in most cases; you have control of the rest.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Dr Spo, that was a major spirit boost. Thank you.