Friday, November 15, 2019
So... I'm the strong one?
As I get older, people open up to me more and more now. Gone is the need for many friends to pretend everything is running smoothly in their lives. As I get to really know people better, it always surprises me with how often they were hiding fears and anxieties or actual outright problems. I think it helps me feel more "normal", that my fears when younger were not because I'm gay and that somehow made me a weak person, they were the fears of a young person like all the young people around me.
My old school friends and I keep saying that if we were only able to open up to each other, we would not have felt so alone and also we would probably not have been easy targets for bullies. Unfortunately we can't change the past and as young people, we couldn't see the bigger picture.
The thing that I have been noticing, is that I seem to be able to handle crisis or confrontational situations better than most. My ego doesn't collapse, I don't fall apart, I deal as best as I can and move on. I'm starting to think that going through life as a gay person didn't hinder me in this area, it made me stronger. I find that my straight friends take great offense to some off hand comment or joke that someone made to them. Maybe because I heard much worse when younger, often I don't pay attention unless I feel it's something that needs to be pointed out. Of all the people I know, I never thought that I would see myself as one of the strong ones.
Posted by Sooo-this-is-me at 4:48 PM
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I've never had that problem, collapsing, or anything like that. Getting flustered is just a waste of energy.
I don't think that being gay is sufficient. I melt down if the traffic lights go against me. My skin is so thin you can see the waves of fat tissue sloshing around underneath.
But maybe putting up with the bullying was a contributing factor to your strength. You are easygoing, calm, and have a good sense of humor, all of which helps. Also you (unfortunately) have had way too much practice in dealing with difficult life situations already, so you have developed the skills you need to power through.
I am strong, I am invincible, I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR!
Sometimes the reason we don't share is because we think we're the only ones.
We're a lot more alike than we are different.
I feel sure that this time next year you will have an 'Onlyfans' site to share your liberation and fortitude.
I think that's a great attitude.
I do not melt down but I'm temperamental and that's my downfall. I need to learn to keep my cool.
Being gay does not make us weak. Being gay makes us... gay?
An epiphany! "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger."
Dave, yes a waste of energy because the problem will still need to be solved, meltdown or no meltdown.
Lurker, thank you for the second paragraph.
As for the first paragraph I'm going to tell you my secret for traffic lights. I keep something that I absolutely love to eat or drink next to me. For example a chocolate bar, a faaaaavorite chocolate bar. I only allow myself to have a bite if I have to stop at a red light. The universe being cruel as usual, will cause me to hit mostly green lights or lights that turn green as I'm about to stop, thus no red lights, just some drool down my shirt.
Anne Marie, grrrrrr! You go girl! Ummm, I mean, you go woman!
Bob, yes I completely agree with you and I find that more and more.
Jimmy, it's frightening that you said that because you are so close to the truth.
Sixpence, I can so see you snapping at someone, lol! Makes you sexy! ;)
Debra, wow you're good! You should make t-shirts and posters saying that! ;)
Another reason we may not share is we don’t want to burden others, as we may feel they have enough problems of their own.
And snap he does. He has no time for fools.
What's this? A secret blog?
I have one as much as you do.
HuntleyBiGuy, I'm curious as to how you guys know each other?
HuntleyBiGuy, you really need to tell me your name and I hope it's Ted or Mike lol.
No fair! My secret blog is boring. I never post naked pagan dance pictures on it.
Well then I guess that's too bad Lurky, plus you guys were always telling me to try WordPress so it's your fault.
Fine. What do I care? Does it look like I care? Keep your super-secret blog a secret. I don't care. Just make sure you invite your REAL friends like Sixpence and Maddie and Michael54.
OL, maybe they are already reading it.
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