Friday, November 15, 2019
So... I'm the strong one?
As I get older, people open up to me more and more now. Gone is the need for many friends to pretend everything is running smoothly in their lives. As I get to really know people better, it always surprises me with how often they were hiding fears and anxieties or actual outright problems. I think it helps me feel more "normal", that my fears when younger were not because I'm gay and that somehow made me a weak person, they were the fears of a young person like all the young people around me.
My old school friends and I keep saying that if we were only able to open up to each other, we would not have felt so alone and also we would probably not have been easy targets for bullies. Unfortunately we can't change the past and as young people, we couldn't see the bigger picture.
The thing that I have been noticing, is that I seem to be able to handle crisis or confrontational situations better than most. My ego doesn't collapse, I don't fall apart, I deal as best as I can and move on. I'm starting to think that going through life as a gay person didn't hinder me in this area, it made me stronger. I find that my straight friends take great offense to some off hand comment or joke that someone made to them. Maybe because I heard much worse when younger, often I don't pay attention unless I feel it's something that needs to be pointed out. Of all the people I know, I never thought that I would see myself as one of the strong ones.