Tuesday, April 2, 2019
That final moment, when grown men cry.
I'm often envious the way most straight guys can keep their emotions in check. Yes I know many of you will hate me saying this but my gay friends almost always cry in front of me sooner or later, while most of my straight male friends have never cried in front of me, even friends I have had since elementary school.
On Saturday while at the funeral of my neighbour, I couldn't help watch how people reacted. Human nature interests me. The daughters and granddaughters were all in tears at the loss of this sweet lady, while the sons and grandsons were stoic.
One of the sons I had become good friends with in my twenties. He is a likeable guy, my parents thought the world of him, a thoughtful, very trust worthy, decent man. Of all the children, he was probably the closest to his mother, I wondered about him and how he "really" felt inside. Yet he remained strong throughout the funeral.
The mass came to an end and the coffin was carried to the back of the church. I knew this is the time, "the final moment" when a man's nerves of steel will bend, crack, maybe even break and the boy inside will appear. As they paused and the funeral directors were about to take away the coffin, I saw my friend suddenly look up in anguish, tears coming down, his brother losing control as well. It's the final moment, when you have to say goodbye forever to someone you loved. In that moment he is not an emotionless man, he's a son saying goodbye to his mother one last time and that can be a very powerful emotion. I found myself feeling deeply saddened but also honored to have witnessed this moment.