This past weekend was beautiful, sunny and temperatures in the 20s c, or 73 F for my American friends. It was actually hot at noon with the sun being quite strong for a pale, winter white guy like me. Finally spring has arrived here, although it is more like early summer and that bothers me a little. I think we did a "spring into summer" this week. To go from freezing and snow up to my hips to walking around in shorts being chased by bugs in a matter of days. What happened to the gently spring I was looking forward to. Sunday was nice and I went over to spend the day with Dave, we had a BBQ and everything was sooo good, that man is going to make me fat!
Dave pulled out two bikes and said lets go bike riding for the afternoon. I said sure but in my head the little voice was saying, 'hey you have not rode a bike in years!' I was proud of myself, we went riding most of the afternoon and I was not doing too bad. At first I was a little shaky but riding a bike came back to me like... well riding a bike. Either I am getting older or I just don't remember those bike seats being such little bum torture devices. I kept thinking I was going to be saddle sore like a cowboy the next day. There were times I thought it might hurt less if I removed the seat and just sat on the bar, there are just too many gay and S&M jokes there so moving along. We stopped in to see his Dad and then over to his brother's place. I met more of Dave's family and they were friendly enough with me.
I often find that a strange moment, meeting his family. I always think it should be an awkward moment but it is only awkward for me. To them, Dave has been out for years and it is a complete non issue. They either are indifferent to him dating me or happy that he has found someone. It is only an issue to me because in my frame of mind, each meeting is a coming out. I feel bad that I can't do that with my family, well partly I can but not totally. We have discussed this, he understands and says we will roll with it. We did talk about me being overwhelmed by things at times, he told me that we will take it as fast or slow as I want to. I think his attitude is one reason that I have felt comfortable in coming out to so many people lately, he never pressures me and so I know there is that safety switch there, where I can say "slow down a minute" it lets me feel relaxed enough to move ahead.
Sometimes when Dave is busy doing work in his yard, I stop for a minute and just watch him. I get a feeling inside and think, "wow, that man is my boyfriend, I really love that guy" it almost makes me dizzy and even though we have only been going out a short time, our closeness makes him feel like family to me, as if I could see what it would be like if we were married someday. I can never stand to see him sad or be away from him for very long. It does not matter to me anymore who approves of me or who does not, yes I would be hurt if someone rejected me but there is no one who could tell me not to see him, not to be gay, with out him in my life now, the pain would be too great and no family member or friend has that right.
We made it back from our bike ride safe and sound, sweaty and a little tired but still able to move our rusty joints. Dave the super cook made a great supper, a little TV, early to bed so we can snuggle a little, hey everyone needs some loving, everyone needs to hear 'I love you' and know the person really means it. The next morning we were not too sore either, so I guess I am not in as bad a shape as I thought. Next week we are suppose to go camping for the whole weekend. I am really looking forward to spending some time with him getting to know nature better. I just hope that hungry bears are homophobic about what they eat!