Tuesday, June 26, 2018
I forgot to mention...
When I first started blogging it was a way for me to try and figure out how to break free of the prison cell of fear, that I had built to keep myself from coming out. I met on line an entire community of people (mostly men) who were trying to do the same. When they reached their goal, they felt it no longer necessary to be part of the blogosphere, I understood that, I wish them all well. Fast forward to today and all the people who read or comment on this blog are a completely different crowd, so I will let you people in on a little secret that I didn't think I could explain to my first group of readers.
When I went to tell my sister that I am gay, it was hard but I knew it would be ok. Some funny events kept taking place that seemed to be signs that it was time to tell her. We were never close to each other and that's why I held back. When I said, "I'm gay" I cried a little from the relief I think. She said, "it's ok, it's ok, I already knew, I was just waiting for you to tell me". We talked, it was like a flood gate opened. Here comes the secret part.... then her partner came into the kitchen and asked what was wrong, I told "her" that I am gay and she gave me a big hug. It runs in the family I guess lol, it's common from what I am seeing. I never felt that I could explain how afraid I was of coming out to my old group of readers while having a gay sister who was living a full life. She and her partner have been together for nearly twenty five years. I also felt I didn't have the right to talk about my sister's personal life but she doesn't really care, she feels if everyone knows then she doesn't have to keep explaining it to people.
This week her partner lost her father and that's why I felt it was an opportunity to mention this part of my life. She is a really sweet person, I sometimes call her my sister in law just to tease her but in reality she is basically my sister in law, she certainly is family and I feel for her loss.
This way by revealing the truth, I feel I don't have to be cautious about slipping up on what I write. This also explains why I am always buying Home Depot gift cards. Well I should add that they are the sporty petite type of lesbians that love hiking, eating healthy and camping, not the tattoo lumber jack, put you in a headlock type of lesbians... lol. I can just hear my sister now, "oh shut up"!