Tuesday, June 26, 2018

I forgot to mention...


When I first started blogging it was a way for me to try and figure out how to break free of the prison cell of fear, that I had built to keep myself from coming out. I met on line an entire community of people (mostly men) who were trying to do the same. When they reached their goal, they felt it no longer necessary to be part of the blogosphere, I understood that, I wish them all well. Fast forward to today and all the people who read or comment on this blog are a completely different crowd, so I will let you people in on a little secret that I didn't think I could explain to my first group of readers.

 When I went to tell my sister that I am gay, it was hard but I knew it would be ok. Some funny events kept taking place that seemed to be signs that it was time to tell her. We were never close to each other and that's why I held back. When I said, "I'm gay" I cried a little from the relief I think. She said, "it's ok, it's ok, I already knew, I was just waiting for you to tell me". We talked, it was like a flood gate opened. Here comes the secret part.... then her partner came into the kitchen and asked what was wrong, I told "her" that I am gay and she gave me a big hug. It runs in the family I guess lol, it's common from what I am seeing. I never felt that I could explain how afraid I was of coming out to my old group of readers while having a gay sister who was living a full life. She and her partner have been together for nearly twenty five years. I also felt I didn't have the right to talk about my sister's personal life but she doesn't really care, she feels if everyone knows then she doesn't have to keep explaining it to people.

 This week her partner lost her father and that's why I felt it was an opportunity to mention this part of my life. She is a really sweet person, I sometimes call her my sister in law just to tease her but in reality she is basically my sister in law, she certainly is family and I feel for her loss.

 This way by revealing the truth, I feel I don't have to be cautious about slipping up on what I write. This also explains why I am always buying Home Depot gift cards.  Well I should add that they are the sporty petite type of lesbians that love hiking, eating healthy and camping, not the tattoo lumber jack, put you in a headlock type of lesbians... lol. I can just hear my sister now, "oh shut up"!

24 comments:

Christina said...

I'm sorry for your sister in laws loss. My own father is 85 and is having an oral cancer removed next week. I love him dearly.

How it saddens me that young people struggle to "come out"
My youngest son is gay and he said he was scared of telling us. I can't think of anything that matters less to me than the sexuality of my three children. As long as they are healthy, happy and have a partner that loves them as much as I do, that's all I want for them.

I hope that as each generation comes along "coming out" will be a thing of the past.


Hope the little chicks are all ok.
Best wishes, Steven.
Christina.

anne marie in philly said...

yes, you have a sister-in-law. my condolences on her loss of her father. happy the both of you are out and proud.

Mistress Maddie said...

I have three sets of friends where the brother and sister are both gay. It's great for you too....its like having a partner in crime. I think it's great. I will have a surprise for you shortly handsome.

John Going Gently said...

i did a coming out sort of story today too... go figure xxx

Deedles said...

I love hiking, camping and putting Balder Half in headlocks *cough*. I don't eat healthy or have tattoos so I guess I can't be a lesbian. I'm sure Balder Half is happy about that :)

Condolences to your sister-in-law. Give her a hug from me. Thanks for sharing another part of your life with us, Steven.

Christina, so sorry about your father. Hang in there. (((Christina))).

Christina said...

Thank you, Deedles. You are very kind. Xx

rjjs8878 said...

Condolences to your SIL. I'm sure you'll be there for her.

Mistress Maddie said...

@Christina YAY for parents like you!!!!!! My own mother is like you and thinks the same way. She knew I was gay even before I told her. She joked with me, " I NEVER thought you'd tell me.
Your to be commended in my opinion.

Will send you good vibes and wishes for you for your father.

Mistress Maddie said...

And meanwhile Deedles, I'll have you know I have plenty of lesbian friends who would find you a red hot mamma!!!!!!!!!!!! And I aint joking.

Deedles said...

Okay, Maddie, that statement can be taken two ways. Would these friends of yours consider me to be a red hot *snort* mamma or are they willing to find me one? I'm not looking for a red hot anything and I consider myself a red hot flash mama :) English is hard! Either way, thank you honey.

Sorry Steven. Back to your regular programming.

Anonymous said...

I may not always comment on your posts, but I'm always reading...and this post merits a response: kudos to you and your sister. It's great to have the love and support of a family member. It's even better when their spouse, lover, partner love and support you just as much. I keep reading your posts and marvel at your growth. Whoever you end up loving and sharing your life with will be one lucky guy.

Christina said...

@ mistress maddie, thanks for your kind words. There was no effort on my part, it came naturally, to love my children unconditionally.

It really DOES NOT matter what sexuality we are. We are humans, first and foremost.
I feel so welcome on Stevens blog. You are all so accepting, funny and kind people.

@ Steven. Sorry for taking up so much blog space! 😀

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Christina, all the gay people in the world had one of our secret agenda meetings last night, we took a vote and we all felt that you are an awesome mom!!! :)
Sorry to hear about your father, I lost my dad to cancer, it's a horrible illness.
Chicks are all ok, will post later about them.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Anne Marie, thank you. I actually learned a lot by finally calming down and just watching my sister quietly live her life. Most people don't care who you are with as long as they are a good person.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Maddie, a couple near me had three kids, I knew the second son was gay, I just recently found out that the daughter is gay as well. Yes partner in crime, it's one of the few things we bond over.
What's my surprise!?! Are we having our wedding the same place as Harry and Megan??? What? What? What? Lol

Sooo-this-is-me said...

John, your story was awesome, it makes you feel good about yourself when someone finds you attractive.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Deedles, I am not sure how the lesbian thing works but I'm sure there is probably a "lesbian curious" subculture out there for you if you wanted, don't worry about the balder half, from what I hear straight guys love their ladies experimenting! Hahaha!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

RJ, thank you. Her family is about a day's drive from here and fortunately she went to see her father just before he died. I will see her when she gets back.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

It's ok Deedles, you people commenting is like keeping wild birds as pets, I don't cage you in, I just stand back and enjoy watching you fly! :)

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Walter, well I'm happy to know that you haven't abandoned me! I just wish that guy would show up to find out how lucky he is. Lol

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Christina, lol don't worry about comments, there is no limit to a good conversation. :)

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Maddie you crack me up!

Anonymous said...

@Steven: abandon you? I'm waiting for you to come to your senses and marry me! No doubt you're used to hearing that from other men.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Oh yes Walter when people are safely away in a far off city they ask me to marry them but here in the real world they run!