Monday, June 25, 2018
Hey life, you're just being a bitch!
This past week a friend of my parents passed away, this seems to be a trend now given the age group that my parent's friends are in. I didn't go to the funeral as it was far, plus I hadn't really seen him or his family for years, we were not close. In his younger days he played in a band that my dad was also part of. He was married to a distant cousin of mine, he was a good man, kind, respected and a good father. He was 87, a fine age I think, he was still sharp in his thinking and in good health also.
Life can be such a butt-hole however in the way things play out. This man's wife was suffering from Alzheimer's disease and until last week he cared for her. He reached a point where he could no longer give her the care she needed and had made arrangements to place her in a nursing home. Having done that myself with mom, I had complete empathy for him. His son was worried about him being alone at that age but being a sensible man, he told his son that he knew it was better to move into a seniors home while he could still make that decision for himself. Unfortunately because of the special care his wife needed, they would be separated but he planned to come visit her as often as he could. Having placed her in care, he moved into his new home. The stress of it all must have been too great as he suffered a stroke that night and died a few days later.
I just shook my head, so typical that the healthy partner dies while the ill partner lives on. I have dozens and dozens of these stories, how can you explain to that woman why her husband doesn't come to see her and all the sad parts that go with this story. You almost have to laugh in disgust, I predict this woman will live for years and years because that's life, when life wants to be a cruel bitch, there is no bounds it won't cross. People were talking about this event in shock, I just pull out my favorite saying, shrug and say, "it is, what it is" because there is nothing we can do about it and I think we have to be a little cold in these situations to survive.
Posted by Sooo-this-is-me at 8:48 AM
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Please accept my most sincere condolences for your loss. That was a most unfortunate turn of events.
Thinking of you, Steven. I'm not going to say anything right now because I'm crashing and I don't want to be inappropriate. Hugs. I'm stepping back for awhile.
Thanks RJ but it's not necessary, as I said we were not close, I hadn't seen him for years. My post was more towards the ironic situation of it all and how life will throw a curve ball at your head.
Deedles, ok no problem, you know where to find when you feel better and I will miss you until then. :)
Yes, the healthy spouse can often seriously compromise his/her own health while caring for the ill partner at home. It's an old, old story.
my condolences, dear.
I was taught to always express condolences when someone has a loss no matter how close they were. I did understand the irony.
Debra, yes I was watching a documentary on Alzheimer's patients once and it said that they often outlive their care giver. Actually one man caring for his wife drowned while they were making the film!
RJ, I just didn't want people to think I was claiming a loss that isn't mine to claim.
Thank you Anne Marie.
Because we can not stop the ignominious decline it tells us to live as full as we can so when it happens we do not feel regret.
Dr Spo, I feel regret all the time, I'm starting to think however that is a personality issue, the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence to me.
Regret is a waste of energy.
Learning from a regret isn't xxx
John, that's a good quote and so true, thank you for that.
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