When people ask how old I was when I knew I was gay, they don't understand that some of us are gay long before we know there was such a thing. Many of you have said the same thing regarding your younger years. The more I think back, the more I realize how ingrained it is in me.
I was thinking of a time when I was really young and my parents were having the living room remodeled. A nice man came to put the final touches in. He worked alone for two or three days, a little husky but cute in that handsome teddy bear kind of way. With a happy personality, friendly kind of guy. Little Steven stuck to him like glue, getting him any tool he needed from his box. My parents would ask if I was in the way, he would say a friendly "nope, he's my little helper". I would be then warn to behave and not get in the man's road.
Little gay me had an ulterior motive besides being helpful. The guy had a nice butt, even better when he bent over or crouched down (which was often), his pants revealed major butt crack, not in a gross way because this guy's bum was an art piece, made for public viewing. I didn't know why, I couldn't take my eyes off him. Every time he crouched down, I felt electricity in my stomach. I remember thinking, if he would only bend over a little more, maybe I would get to see the goods. I had thoughts of sticking my arm down there and grabbing a handful. I remember seeing matching carpet to his sandy blonde hair and thinking how nice his crisp white underwear looked, I wondered what he would look like in just his underwear. On the last day he removed his boots and worked in socks as not to mark up the floor. I found that hot, even though I didn't know what "hot" was.
At night I would daydream that he was my best friend, after working so hard all day we would take a bath together and I would help wash him and he would wash me. Then we would dress at the exact same time into our pyjamas and he would sleep over in my double bed. Yes that's all I imagined because I didn't know there was such a thing as gay sex yet. I find it interesting that I was clearly sexually attracted to him, even when the concept didn't exist for me, so in other words, I was gay before I knew what being gay meant. There are many people out there who still believe there is no such thing as a gay child, when I think about me wanting to bathe a grown man... clearly I was one!