Thursday, May 24, 2018

Get that thing away from me!


 First in honour of my last post regarding bugs, I would like to announce that the annual swallowing of the first black fly of the year, took place this evening. Anyone who has dealt with black flies will understand this event. I found the 2018 fly to be sweeter but less juicy than the 2017 and 2016 versions.

 When searching out my potential mate for spring rampage, there are a few things I check for that are a no go. Like smokers, yuck no that's not happening. Some think it's cool to list "drinks heavily" with a bunch of lol lol following that sentence. The big one for me is "never enough drugs" nnnnnNOooooo! Next!

 Keep that thing away from me! There is another no no for me that I worry about. Gay men being direct and to the point, list their stats down to the size of their... you know.... yes I mean that thing, so when I see profiles listed as 8.1 to 9.5 and the picture backs up the claim, ummm I need to think about injuries. Especially if he is listed as top, I think a 9.5 should be kept on a leash, I don't want "that" anywhere near me! It's going to be just my luck to find a great guy who one day asks me if an eleven and a half would bother me, maybe I could rethink the "never enough drugs" guy.

16 comments:

Deedles said...

Sooo, it's kind of a fly themed post *wink, wink*. After just the first paragraph, I was laughing so hard my sides hurt and I wet myself just a bit. I'm picturing black flies stored in a teeny tiny wine rack, like something right out of The Far Side!

I am not going to touch the rest of this because I am trying so very hard to be good. I think I may have used up my obnoxious quota for the week :)

Mistress Maddie said...

Hey......there ain't nothing wrong with a 8.5 or a 9.5. One is only in traction for three weeks and all is back to normal.

Not that I would know.

Deedles said...

Maddie, you are incorrigible! To each their own, I always say. Okay, sometimes say. Like one's taste in meat. Some like Vienna sausages. Others hot dogs. Some want Polish sausages or maybe a big ol' salami. Me? I can't resist a nice hot link with snappy tight skin! All tasty (except for the Viennas, way too soft) and subject to personal preference. Oh crap! Now I'm hungry again.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Deedles, it's something that can't be helped, we inhale the little suckers and then choke them down. Deedles I made jokes about a penis and you said you're not going to "touch" it... hahaha that's very punny of you!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Maddie, (hands on hips, head cocked to one side)... "not that you would know"? Girlfriend who ARE you trying to kid, I've seen Cali boy's blog!!! Hahaha!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Deedles, you are so busted! Lol, what happened to behaving yourself, hahaha. If this is you not being a brat, I would hate to see it when you are!

Mistress Maddie said...

I knew I loved Deedles for a reason. Long live Duchess Deedles! Sausages for all!!!!!

Mike said...

This talk leaves me no alternative but to bone up on charcuterie.

Deedles said...

Brat, huh? Who's being punny now! Then again, I've been wurst.

Maddie, I love you too. You still have meat leftover from that hat?

Mike, I don't have the equipment to bone up on char no matter how cuterie is!


rjjs8878 said...

I avoid those guys online whose members look like they qualify as a dependent on the tax forms.

Mike said...

I'd post on Grindr but I never mastered photoshop.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Maddie, yes and none of those vegan ones, they don't taste as good as the meaty ones! Long live the Duchess!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Mike, are you trying to be a ham here?

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Deedles, oh groooooan, that was the best of the wurst puns I have ever heard!!! Just for that you win your very own mason jar of black flies!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

RJ, lol or who was their father... Trigger, Black Beauty, Flicker?

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Mike if you are looking at Grindr, I doubt it's photoshop that you are trying to master. ;)