Wednesday, August 27, 2008

The Visitor

This past week was, as promised by the weather man, beautiful and sunny. Due to the weather I went home to help out the folks make hay while the sun still shines as they say, literally! It can be dirty and hard work but sometimes it is almost refreshing being a straight forward task that gets a person out on the land and into the sunshine. I know these will soon be the last days I need to help out like this, as not only is fall drawing near, but my Dad is in his early 70's and will retire one of these days, this year or next. Farming is in some people's blood and they just refuse to quit until their body does.

I still really like the country and miss parts of living there, I like city life as well but I would not want to live in the down town core. My ideal place would be about ten to twenty acres just outside the city. Far enough to be quiet and have space to breath, however close enough to have all the extras within a thirty minute drive.

On my third day playing farmer boy, it was a really hot day and I had stopped my tractor to take a break (did you like that, yes a gay man driving a tractor, very butch right). I was thinking about how peaceful it was around where I was working and how family members worked this land for generations. Where the fence lines where placed and how the fields were planned and cleared, had been decided by family members who were long dead by the time I came along. I suppose they would be rolling in their graves to know the dream of this farm ends with my Dad, that he had a gay son who would rather work in a comfy office and will never have children of his own. Sometimes I get nostalgic like that but then I think, even if I was straight and took over this place, does not mean that my children would be interested in staying. Many kids grew up here and left to spread out all over Canada and the States.

Sitting there thinking these thoughts, my peace was suddenly broken by the sight of a motor cycle making it's way through the forest paths to get to where I was working. At first I felt pretty ticked, I was thinking it was some of the local goof-ball teens that drive everyone nuts with their dirt bikes and ATVs, I figured they found the road and were trespassing. I pulled out my shotgun, no just kidding that is a hill-billy thing, not a Canadian farmer thing. As the bike approached I thought to myself "does that bike ever look like Dave's bike" then as he came near I suddenly realized it was Dave! I had a lot of emotions, I was so happy to see him, I had been missing him but I was also thinking, "oh shit my boyfriend is here, with my parents here as well!" He pulled up to where I was sitting and even though he had his helmet on, I could see he had a big grin on his face. As he got off his bike, our little red Australian cattle dog who was snuggled up with me, took one look at this six foot three thing in a suit and had a complete melt down, normally she loves everyone but I honestly think she wanted to take him down a foot or two! Dave is not afraid of dogs but she certainly made him back away from me. After they made friends we sat down in the grass and I asked him how the heck he found me. He had found our place by remembering my Dad's name and then met my Mom at the house, she then told him how to find me. He said as soon as he said he was looking for me, she said to him "oh your Steve's friend" they had a nice talk and then he came looking for me. My Dad was in another field and drove over in his old pickup, I was wondering how he would react as he would be tired. When he pulled up he looked at Dave's sport bike and asked if he wanted to trade him the bike for his old truck, whew! A good sign Dad was not mad at someone showing up in the middle of work, I thought he might be annoyed but he was interested in meeting Dave. They talked for a short while.

We had a lot of work to do so my father excused himself and went back to work. Dave teased me for a kiss, I said "not on your life", don't worry Dave does not kiss me in front of his Dad even though his Dad has no problem with it, he is just a bugger to pick at me like that. Later that evening I over heard my parents talking about Dave so I listened in. My Dad with his Irish roots that were not lost over the past generations said, "he seems like a nice young lad" and my mother said "yes and he is so tall, in that suit with his helmet on, no wonder the dog went nuts, he must of looked like a big Sasquatch to her!" Now of course I told this to Dave when I saw him next and we both had a good laugh over it. I also have to hand it to Dave in that he knows how to operate around me. If I were going to introduce him to my parents, I probably would have fussed and worried about it for days, this way he just stopped in like any of my friends and every thing went smooth, no big deal.

Back in the city over this past weekend, we happened to be down town and who should we bump into but my sister. She was glad to finally meet Dave and we laughed as I said this is my 'boyfriend' Dave. They seemed to hit it off and she invited him to come with me to her annual Halloween dinner. She even teased him by saying he had to wear a costume or she would make him wear a dress, he got her back by saying he would wear his own dress that he keeps in the closet. She looked at him and I cracked up because I could tell by her face she was not sure if he was joking or serious. Then he said no that him wearing a dress was never going to happen, "whew" on my part. Later he joked about wanting to meet my family and having done it all in one weekend. Well so there, Dave met the folks, another step taken. I figure they will either just see him as a friend or if they figure it out some day, it will be a lot easier to accept if they already know and like him.

10 comments:

Java said...

Wow! That went surprisingly well. Glad you got to see Dave over the weekend. Sounds like you spent some quality time with the folks, too.

I just can't imagine you as a farmboy. In your youth, growing up there, yes. But returning to that life now? Hard to imagine.

Topher said...

Yay, glad things turned out well and it seems the fam liked him eventhough some didn't know you two were together :D

Dave is so sweet, how can one not love him. Hugs to you both!

Will said...

Oh, yeah, I can see you on a tractor just like I see me and all our friends with chainsaws during the time we were clearing forest for the new house. Gay men come in all sizes, shapes and professions. Part of breaking out of the communal closet was smashing a lot of stereotypes and revealing the dazzling breadth and depth of gay style and experience.

So, the big question is: do you see yourself eventually coming completely out to your parents and introducing Dave (or whoever your boyfriend might be at the time) as the man in your life?

Anonymous said...

Ahhhhhh this was great. I like how he just showed up on you. lol Like you said then you didn't have to fret over it for days!

Doug said...

I loved the mental images of you on your farm. It's really neat the way your sister acted towards Dave. And I love the dress jokes. I use them sometimes with my brother and SIL.

A Troll At Sea said...

Steve-o:

When things come together like that, us old farts call it by an old word for undeserved gifts: "grace."

I would say that was what settled in when Dave drove up on his bike...

But then, that's me all over, isn't it?

T@C

Joe Jubinville said...

"Dave teased me for a kiss, I said "not on your life..."

LOL. I had a boyfriend in high school who used to grope or threaten to kiss me in public, just because he knew it half alarmed, half tickled me and he enjoyed my chagrin.

Sounds like your folks have taken a shine to Dave. You're halfway home, Steven. Family is funny... mine used to much prefer my good looking, charismatic friends to my nerdy, eccentric ones. On some level, I think they were less worried about my being gay than my picking a loser boyfriend. Winning ways, it seems, covers a multitude of sins.

But what a memorable scene, Dave straddling his bike, you on a tractor, knowing glances, ears blushing... Ow!

Birdie said...

So the lines continue to blur between past and present. I think it's great that your family met Dave in such low-key circumstances. He's pretty smart about it. May the path remain open as you acquaint the family with your journey, in whatever timetable is comfortable.

Patrick said...

What fun! I bet you're right, having your parents get to know and like Dave will make any future revelations about your relationship that much easier. All these funny little steps we take, they add up, don't they. This entry, along with the one about the parade and rally, makes it sound like things are good with Dave right now, even if not perfect. I hope so.

Anonymous said...

What a pleasant surprise! And how much better could it have gone? Next time Dave should show up in a pair of overalls and a pitchfork. No for the hay, Steven!! ;-) Do you have a hay loft there? Nice images are coming to mind. There definitely seems to have been a turn-around in comparison to how you were feeling about your relationship with Dave not too long ago. :-)