Well Paul in NY wrote a post about men's underwear the other day and said in an email to me that it is a requirement as a new member of gay blog land that everyone has to write a post about men's underwear at some point. First off I have to say Paul you little devil, with what you said in my comment area on my last post called "Get a life. Please" , you changed the discussion from Dumbledore is gay to Potter's penis, it will be a long time before I can forgive you for that, or stop laughing either. OK so mother nature has been really good to that boy, I said to Paul in an email, that I read somewhere the horse did not want to appear in the photo with Daniel Radcliffe for fear of not measuring up. Now to the underwear story, not mine of course because my underwear comes from places like Sears so too boring to make a good story. Well maybe except for the ones I bought in Thailand, however they are silk and I feel too soft and pretty to use, so I keep them in my drawer to remind me of my trip. No my underwear story is about something we all like to hear, a group of teenage guys on a camping trip, stuck together in a cabin, running around in nothing but their underwear. In honour of Paul this is my underwear story.
When I was in high school, everyone will be completely shocked to learn that I was a bit shy and awkward, plus also a klutz in sports, so not very popular especially before turning sixteen. I know that is very unusual for a gay teen to be awkward and as well crappy in sports but it is true! Naturally there were guys that I looked up to, they just seemed to have it all together. Good looks, good grades, good athletes and great hair, you know the ones, they could play football for an hour and not a hair would fall out of place. Although I was never one to follow the pack, their opinions really mattered to me and it would hurt if they made fun of my choice in music, clothes, etc, like all teens I just wanted to be accepted for who I was. There was one guy in particular, I'll call him Tom and he was definitely at the top of the food chain in coolness to the rest of us teens. He had everything going for him but the problem was that he knew it, instead of being an example and trying to inspire the rest of us, he felt as alpha male the need to keep the rest of us in place. He firmly kept us under his thumb with cruel and sarcastic comments, public humiliation was his weapon and for teens being made fun of in front of our peers was the biggest fear.
One fall as we returned for the school year, it was decided that our grade would go on a camping trip for a week. We were excited and packed together sleeping bags, food and all the things we would need. The days were sunny and warm and all was good until the end of the week, that is when it became cold and wet, wet, wet! We were lucky in that instead of tents we had little cabins that could sleep about four people, I was unlucky in that our cabin started to leak and the heater went out. We decided the best thing was to split up the guys and bunk in with other cabins. That final night I was put in the cabin of my dreams, mostly jocks. Some were nice guys but Tom was there as well.
As night came, everyone stripped down to their tighty whiteys and guys not being shy, especially jocks, ran around in their undies. I was in every gay teen's dreamland, to have the hottest guys in school around me almost nude, it was better than I ever thought of in the many, many times I wondered what they would look like nude. Like a kid on Christmas morning I was checking out the packages. The guys started to get silly and show off in front of each other, one of the way to do this was to climb on a shelf by a window and call to the girl's cabins and try to invite certain girls over. The thing was that the shelf happened to be right over a gay kid sleeping on the floor, which gave him a better view of the goods than he could have ever hoped for. One by one the guys would go to the window and as each one approached I would be thinking, wow I can't believe I get to check this guy out. Then it was Tom's turn, I was in awe, blond blue eyed, tall slender body, nicely muscled and as he stepped over to the shelf, I saw it, I could not believe my eyes, it was huge and there was no way you could miss it. Nope, it is not what you think, I am talking about the huge skid mark on his white undies, I was shocked, horrified and disgusted! Like a car tire deflating after running on a nail, my view of him as a cool teen hero suddenly went flat. I mean gross, what did he not know how to wipe himself? If he was so smart, did he not know what that little roll of paper was for beside the toilet? Was it that he felt the need to conserve energy by not changing his underwear? After that night I saw him in a different way, nothing he said to me would bother me anymore because I would be thinking, yeah you don't like my music but you probably need your diaper changed right now. Funny but all this time I thought it was his attitude that stunk.
Well that was it, my men's underwear story, not too exciting but true. I think for fun I will try to tag some of you lucky people to have you do one as well. For any of you guys that were hoping for pictures, sorry I don't do porn, well I like some porn but just not on my blog and I am not going to mention any sites because you are guys, so I know, that you know where all the good ones are!
Thursday, October 25, 2007
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Your gay blogger initiation is now complete.... great story!
And THAT is exactly why they make brown/black/navy underwear!
Seriously though, it's good Tom got knocked off his pedestal.
Oh, Tom! Tom, you careless lad.
Toilet paper's not a fad.
Instead of making us feel sad,
We laugh that you're a crappy cad.
(sorry, that's the best I could do with limited skills)
I'm both disgusted and amused.
I haven't done any underwear posts ... not sure what direction I want to take mine if I do ...
I think the only time I've ever blogged about underwear is about the guy I arrested: I found him wearing nothing but underwear, surrounded by his own puke and shit, and Hustler rags.
I guess that doesn't count though...
Ah... a skidmark story.
My life is now complete.
Nice writing. I will keep reading.
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