As everyone knows from experience, life has a funny way of swinging round and biting you on the ass! I had been really excited over something that was coming up. I was not going to mention it until a few days before it happened. That is my sister often has a party in October, even though I like her friends that I know of, I never really went before. This year however she asked me to come, her reason was that, as I mentioned before she has gay friends. She told them about me and they were going to try and help me. I was going to get to meet other actual gay guys that lived in this city and if they were sister approved, then I know I would be OK. There were also to be lesbian couples and maybe they could try to net work for me, allow me to meet their gay male friends as well. I was looking forward to this and counting off the days. This week however, when I was not looking life crept up behind me and attacked.
It started a few days ago, I had gone out to the country to see my parents and as I was leaving I remarked to my mother that the muscles in my face felt like they were jumping. The next day was the shocker, the left side of my face had developed paralysis, even affecting blinking and it is a very unsettling feeling when suddenly you lose control over your own body. I hate going to the hospital but I could tell that a band-aid was not going to fix this. They went through the usual tests to rule stuff out and the conclusion was Bell's Palsy. Fuck! Excuse my language but fuck! I was given my horse pills and they taste like crap. They said it could go away in three weeks to three months but the scary thing is that there is a slight risk that it would never go away. The result is you have trouble eating, you can't smile, you talk out of the side of your mouth, one eye burns from drying out because of not being able to blink properly, you look terrible, who would want me now. I have not spoken to my sister yet, but I will tell her there is no way I am going to meet a group of strangers like this. Really though my main worry is to get back to normal, the thing that I want most is not a party but to be able to drink a glass of water without looking like a camel. I had not mentioned it earlier because I was trying to use my blog as an escape, but my blog is a place for me to vent my emotions and today I really needed to vent them, mostly it is fear. I have to also whine a little though about the party etc, why now just when things were going to maybe line up for me. When Life bites you, sometimes it uses it's fangs.