I will admit that the days were wearing me down. I was in the unfortunate situation of basically being a fugitive since the farm is technically not my main resistance. Therefore I was not allowed to leave my yard, I could have received a thousand dollar fine or worse, have been expelled from the farm. The government in this province was really over reaching. My food supplies were the lowest they have ever been, I'm hungry all the time, I think of food all the time, I think because I can't just go and get what I need any longer and it has affected my thinking, my nerves were being rubbed raw.
Also because I was separated from my boyfriend, how cruel that has been for me. I have been lonely as heck, after nine years I finally found someone to hold me, hug me and snuggle with. People need the loving touch of another person, to finally get that and suddenly have it cut off was almost devastating to be honest. I couldn't see an end to this, I started to feel hopeless, every day felt like a cloudy rainy day.
I can buy food again, I never dreamed the day would come in Canada where I was prevented from buying food. However food wasn't the first thing on my mind, my eyes went a little misty as I called Mr X... to tell him the news that I'm going to get to see him again soon. I could really use a hug about now.