Sunday, May 24, 2020
The Darwin Awards will be cancelled this year due to there being too many candidates. If you are not familiar with this award, it usually goes to the person who removed themselves from the gene pool by getting themselves killed while doing something completely stupid. Example: two guys went to a zoo drunk and thought it would be funny to show off in front of their friends, they climbed into the tiger pit and tried to pet the eight hundred pound tigers. Needless to say it didn't end well.
This weekend was another example of mass stupid and Canadian hypocrisy. We Canadians are usually a nice bunch but we secretly are also a little condescending. We see on the news the people down south crowding onto the beaches and think, "oh those hillbilly Americans, so backward and ignorant". Well this weekend was beautiful here for the most part, we are actually having Canadian July weather instead of May weather. What did Canadians do, especially down in Toronto. They crowded onto beaches and in parks by the thousands. The pictures look like human versions of giant walrus herds packed on the beach sunning themselves. Covid would like to thank those people, it was becoming extinct, they single handedly helped revive the virus population, expect a second shutdown soon.
It was heartbreaking to watch a young doctor on the news last night who works in a covid ward. Viewers could see he was trying to hold back tears. He has been working none stop and hasn't been able to spend time with his young family. He took it very personally that people either don't know or care how hard he is working to save people. He said that he would have preferred to spend the weekend with his wife and kids, just like the people enjoying themselves on Saturday. I guess he is stressed thinking about the next wave that will start coming in about a week from now.
I hate the way we get punished for stupid people. How because of some idiot, we can't buy a certain product or we have to line up like daycare children. This week is a perfect example, the health departments are saying not to wear gloves. That gloves don't protect you and may actually make things worse. No... that's completely wrong, gloves protect you perfectly, not using gloves properly is harmful. I use latex and rubber gloves at work all the time, I know how to properly use them. I put on a fresh pair, go in, shop for groceries, come out, take them off in a careful manner the way I was trained, drop them into a garbage container and go on my way. This way if I touch any virus, I leave it behind in the trash can.
Enter the stupid people, they see gloves and want to wear them as well. However they don't understand the why. Instead of creating a barrier, they think gloves have some magic powers, that the virus will not be able to survive the gloves. Mr or Mrs Idiot will put on the magic gloves, go shopping, come back to the car, touch the door handles, get in the car, touch the steering wheel, filling the car with virus, pull off their mask, feel that it's safe to touch their face, rub their eyes with the magic gloves, not realizing that the gloves are covered in virus. Hence gloves are bad when actually stupid people are bad.
I was really pissed about the gloves issue this week because of what happened when I went to a pharmacy. I put on a fresh pair of gloves, as I walked in a man was sitting there and told me I had to wash my hands. I said that I had just put on new gloves, he said angrily, either wash your hands or get out, you are not allowed in unless you wash your hands. I took my perfectly sterile gloves off and went to wash my hands. It was a temporary sink set up for covid. Instead of a foot pedal or motion detection system, it had the two taps like from the seventies. I had to touch the taps that everyone else used contaminating my clean hands. I used the cheap foamy soap. Then I had to turn off the dirty taps with my clean hands. Waving my wet hands to dry them off flicking germs everywhere. As I went to walk away, he leaned over to a dirty looking box and turned a crank and a half wet paper towel came out. I felt contaminated in the store and as I was leaving I saw a hand sanitizer station, I went over to it and pressed the button... empty!
Now I had to enter my car with potential dirty hands. Fortunately I keep a bleach soaked towel in there for emergencies like this. I was put in harm's way because of stupid people who don't understand and don't want to understand what is happening around them. Yes, so thank you stupid people, you make life a little worse for the rest of us each day. Actually just my secret tip for the brain numb, I heard that you can prevent yourself from getting covid by petting a tiger.
[Insert evil laughter here]