Friday, April 3, 2020

Gut Punch!


 I knew the data was going to be scary but what we were told today was overwhelming. The province of Ontario wanted the people to have all the information so that they would understand the need for staying home, so they released the data.

 If nothing was done, the deaths would reach over 100 000 out of 13 million people in Ontario. If people do as asked that number could be lowered down to between 3000 to 15 000, that's just one province in Canada. The thing that really got me was that we will have to live like this for another two years!!!!

Quebec (where the farm actually is) has cracked down much stronger, the police don't want you leaving your town area. It feels like a police state, like some third world country, where there check points everywhere.

 This really hit me, I'm trapped here, the farm will be worthless. I may never see mom again.. it will be a while before I can see my sister. Also important, I don't know when I will be able to see my boyfriend again, our relationship won't last through this I'm afraid. All this hit me like a gut punch! I had to run outside into the cold air. I couldn't breath! In all my life, the future has never looked so bleak.

25 comments:

Jimmy said...

"Farm will be worthless"? Why????????

Remember, Mr X's life is on hold as well.

Hang in there.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Yeah, those projections are quite a gut punch. For what it's worth, remember they are worst-case scenarios. Although the virus may indeed come in "waves" over the next two years, in between those waves I suspect life might return to relative normalcy, I think. But then, what the hell do I know?

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Jimmy, with the economy dead, and no travel anywhere allowed, who could afford to buy a farm.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Debra, as soon as we take our foot off the break, the stupid thing will come roaring back. I can't believe this is happening in 2020.

Cali-Boi said...

I hear ya dude. I started dating someone too before all this. ME? But no offense to him, but my dating is the least of my worries in all this mess. I think everyone will have to watch out for themselves first. It's just mind blowing. One day we have it, the next day everything is gone, like that.

Deedles said...

I don't know why, but the drearier it gets, the cheerier I gets. Major coping mechanism that kept me alive thru childhood trauma and beyond! Oh great, now I'm doing a cheap imitation of Buzz Lightyear! Hold on to hope, sweetie. Hugs. Massive granny hugs (it's been awhile).

Bob said...

It's an old saying, but better safe than sorry. And this won't become the new life we all lead, though it may affect the way we live our lives.
You're on hold; the boyfriend is on hold.
I'd just be worried about family, though maybe there's some way you could be allowed to see your mom. I'd look into that.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Cali Boi, yes that's the scary part, if you get it there is a chance of dying. I had a terrible sense of being trapped, I'm getting over that feeling. There is a way around everything.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Deedles, well you don't need to be going out anywhere! You two love birds stay put until this is over!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Bob, the world has shifted under us and everything is new... and potentially dangerous.

HuntleyBiGuy said...

I’m sorry for you Steven (and Cali-boi). But I wouldn’t give up. Like those above said, EVERYONE is on hold. Including Mr. X. Do keep the lines of communication open. Video chat when possible.

And the real hard part is not seeing your family, especially your mother in her situation. Keep good thoughts and believe this will end soon. Your government has a better handle on this than ours. You have adults in charge.

Linda said...

I am leaning on the now. Tomorrow might hold sickness and death but it might not. So....I am trying to stay very present and not allow the what if's to steal my now.

I realize the same thing with all my siblings. They are spread out and the odds are, at our age, and a few of them being in the medical profession, I may never see them again. The idea is unfathomable.....but I am staying here.....and trying to stay now.

Did I say trying??? Because every once in awhile the dread takes over and I have to have a good cry.

Bathwater said...

Yes people don't realize this is not going away in a few weeks. This will be impacting us for a long time to come.

RJ said...

If Mr. X is a good man, he will be waiting for you. You are worth waiting for.

Deedles said...

My youngest sister calls me everyday to make sure I'm still alive. She figures nobody would tell her if it happens. You have to know the family to understand this concept. I told her I would let her know if I died, you know, zombie style. She called again yesterday. I have caller id so I knew who it was. I answered the phone with a growly (more than my usual) voice and said "Brains, brains, brains!". Needless to say, we ended up in a major giggle fit.

Willym said...

Steven

Keep in mind that Ford, who strangely enough I have come to admire for the way he is handling things during this crazy time, has made all sorts of attempts to warn people and make them aware of the seriousness of what is happening. Unfortunately many people - particularly in what they grandly call the GTA - are ignoring the polite warnings and even the penalties. At this point he is pulling out of the big guns to put the fear of god (or the pandemic) in people and hyperbole may be the only way to go.

I'm not trying to minimize what he is saying nor the impact it is having on any of us but to try and find a balanced perspective on it. And as Dale Smith said now that the worse case scenario has been stated it is the only thing the press will run with. Take as an example the Medical Officer in Ontario said the "model" indicated that between 6,000 to 15,000 could die - the Toronto Star headline read 16,000 will die.

Again I know that none of this is lessen the impact it is having on your life or those around you. It is both frightening and heartbreaking but keep in mind the role of the press is to stay solvent and get clicks.

Big hugs from our Island to you and yours.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

HuntleyBiGuy, thank you. I think I was overwhelmed by the thoughts of a two year lockdown. However that's not possible, society would completely fall apart, we will all have to figure out a new normal for now.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Linda, hello and welcome! Yes I'm a lot more "together" today and you are right, I have to think about the now. I think the healthiest thing for me to do is focus on where do I go from here. A little stress relief is good if you have to have a cry, I had to walk around outside in the cold for a few minutes to snap out of it.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Bathwater, I actually understood that, the truth is we will never be safe until a vaccine is ready. I just didn't realize a shut down could go on that long. There may never be a vaccine, this could actually become a disease that will always be out there.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Richard, so far he keeps telling me not to worry. It's difficult however, for instance back in "normal times", I would have been staying over at his place last night.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Deedles, thank you... you gave me my laugh today. Plus if you become a zombie looking for brains, meh I'm pretty much still safe with you.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Willym, Ford right.. who knew! Actually I often heard he is a decent guy and hard working. I didn't see it at first and thought he was a buffoon his first year. I guess this is his time to shine.
Yes I understood what he was doing. I also knew the numbers would be bad when we look at the data from overseas. I guess the thought of lockdown frightened me. Especially here on the Quebec side, it's almost like a police state some days, we are not allowed to leave our little townships. I understand it however, Quebec was on March break one week earlier so they returned with the virus from other countries and so the infection rates are higher. Plus if the virus got into a small community it would be devastating.
What ever you do, don't let any mainlanders get on the island!

Deedles said...

Stevie, honey bun, you are not safe from me! Even a zombie likes a good little chicken nugget every now and then. Yum!

Willym said...

Steve, the bridge is closed to all but essential traffic and Air Canada is down to one flight a day from Montreal. Apparently if you are not a "permanent resident" you can't come here - one of the reasons is that our hospitals and medical facilities are barely (if in fact) equipped to handle the 145,000 Islanders. With nothing open except pharmacies, grocery stores, gas stations and, thank god they came to their senses, a liquor store visitors could not find lodging or services.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Will, I could see them doing that. There would probably be all kinds of people go there to hide out not realizing that they already have the virus and then spreading it.